Dating - Sunnydale Style

Original copyrighted: March 2000

Revised copyrighted: August 2014

Category: Crossover

Original Rating: NC-17 for violence and sexual situations (sorry kiddies)

Revised Version Rated PG for violence

Spoilers: A few

Keywords: Highlander/Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Summary: This series deals with the training that the Scooby gang gets from Steve and his friends. This particular story deals with dating in Sunnydale.

Highlander: All rights and properties are owned by Rysher Entertainment.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: All rights and properties are owned by Joss Whedon, Warner Bros. and Mutant Enemy, etc.
The Legendary Adventures of Hercules/Xena: All rights and properties are owned by Renaissance and Flat Earth Productions.
The Ballad of the Green Berets is copyrighted by Barry Sadler, his estate and family.

Any characters, whose names and descriptions are used, are the property of their original owners, and no copyright infringement is intended or meant.

No money can be made from this story. It can be distributed freely so long as it is kept in its entirety, with all notices and copyright information remains intact.

The characters Wanderer/Steven St. Wolf, Frank Iverson, Brother Aaron, Fragnar, Smaug and Robert McCallister and this story are Steve’s. May he rest in peace.
  The revised story, which is a combination of “Dating Sunnydale Style” and “First Date Blues”, is mine.  I can be reached at perngypsy@yahoo.com. 

Comments and Criticisms are appreciated, please post to the above referenced E-mail.

(From Steve) Special Thanks to my Beta Readers: Rebekah Sandell and Jack Caynon They helped me tighten up and put out a great story in record time.

Steve’s Author's Notes: Nothing right now, except for that words expressed with the < > are thoughts.


Dating - Sunnydale Style

(When in Doubt - Blast Away)

The Bronze
26 February 2014 - 20:00 Hours

The beating music shifted into a slow comfortable dance while Xander and Cordelia danced on the Bronze's main dance floor. The lights from behind the DJ cast weird shadows on their faces, Xander reached down and eagerly wrapped his arms around the firm body dancing in front of him. He smiled, looked into her dark brown eyes and grinned as her dark hair shrouds their faces, she kisses him. When their lips broke apart, Cordelia sighed. "Xander?" Xander continued staring into her eyes. "Do you still love me?"

 

"Cordy?" Xander stammered out, not believing that she had brought that up.

 

Cordelia stiffened and asked again, "I asked, 'do you still love me'?"

 

"Of course I do," Xander replied. He held her closer, leaned in and captured her lips in a deep kiss.

 

"Even though I'm an Amazon now?" Cordelia asked after they break the kiss.

 

"I've always loved you," Xander admitted. "Even now. You should be able to tell that from the way I’m pointing at you.”

 

Cordelia looks at his hands with a confused expression. “Xander, what are you talking about? I can see both of your hands. You’re not pointing.”

 

“Trust me, Cordy. I may not be using my hands, but I’m defiantly pointing.” Xander said with a goofy smile. A quick glace down by Cordelia confirmed what Xander was saying.

 

"Good," Cordelia replied. Molding herself to Xander, she smiled to herself as she feels his manhood harden under his jeans.

*****

Percy Williams, the 6’2” tall captain of the Sunnydale High football team, stiffened with anger while he watched Cordelia dance with Xander. "How can she be with that dweeb?"

 

Percy's friend and teammate, Mike Payton, replied, "Don't know Percy, but if this keeps up then every dweeb in the school will think they can take our property," he said as he watched the other kids in the room watch Xander and Cordelia dance.

 

"We've got to teach this guy a lesson, none of the other dweebs will ever forget," Luke Williams added.

 

"When do we do it?" Greg Thompson, who was a linebacker, asked.

 

"Not tonight," Percy replied as he watched Xander and Cordelia walk back to a table shared by a large group. "He has too many people with him."

 

"Yeah," Bill Carter agreed with a shudder as he stared at Steve St. Wolf, who is sitting at the table with the group. "That guy with them looks like he could do us

some serious damage. He’s clearly a college guy.  I just wish that he wasn’t hanging with that bitch Buffy Summers.”

 

"Yeah. Also those teachers are with them. Not to mention that Summers slut’s mother," Mike replied. Spying Constance, he added, “Isn’t that the cleaning lady from the Motor Lodge? What are she, and those other two ladies, doing with them?”

 

"I don’t know what that loser, Lopez, or her fellow looser, Hernandez, the Chase maid, are doing here, but I certainly wouldn’t mind getting some with that college-looking babe sitting next to that old crow Carol Lancaster,” Greg said. Suddenly the bottom fell out of his glass soaking his one hundred sneakers.  <How

did that happen?> Greg thought to himself. <Must be cheap glass.>

 

As he lowered his drink Percy said "I just would like to know what that guy Summers is with is up to with her?  I wonder who he is."

Luke smirked, "He's probably just getting some action from that slut." His friends laugh as Luke chuckled wickedly. "Maybe, when he dumps her, I'll get me some."

"So, we all agree then," Percy stated. "Tomorrow, we kick Harris' ass at school."

 

"What happens if Snyder catches us?" Greg asked as he angrily watched Cordelia and Xander walk back to the dance floor.

 

"Pedro and Eric will keep him busy," Percy replied as the two nod their heads in agreement.

 

"I can't wait!" Luke yelled as he watched Cordelia mold herself to Xander as they slow dance.

 

"Tomorrow, Luke. Tomorrow," Percy promised and watched the pair dance.

 

*****

 

Sunnydale HS Library
27 February 2014 – just before first period classes

“Any comments or questions about last night?” Steve asked the gathered, and expanded, Scoobies.

 

“The members of the football team were making rude comments about some of us.  Also, they don’t like Xander, who they consider a dweeb, dancing with Cordelia, who they consider their property,” Constance, who had on her usual black, white-trimmed uniform, white tea apron and white athletic shoes, replied. 

 

“They plan to teach him a lesson at lunch.”

 

“Oh, they do, huh. Well I’ll just teach them a lesson,” said Cordelia as she started to get up clearly enraged.

 

Buffy placed a hand on Cordelia’s arm, and said, “Don’t do it, Cordelia. I know you want to mop the floor with them, but if you do that then everyone will know about your special abilities. Besides, Xander is more than capable of handling himself with those helmet heads.” <Not to mention Xander would never forgive you if you fought his battles for him.>

 

Cordelia quickly calmed down. Looking at Xander she asked, “Do you think that you’ll be able to handle those goof balls?”

“I’ll do my best to teach them a lesson,” Xander said with a smile.

 

“Good. When we’re in cafeteria we’ll try to put on a good act like we didn’t know they were planning something.”

 

Xander nodded. Then, looking at Constance, he said, “You know there are times it definitely comes in very handy when you have a friend with super human hearing. I was just wondering though, were you listening to everything going on last night?”

 

“Xander, you don’t need to ask that. I’m perfectly able to tune into whatever I think I should be listening to, and shut out all the rest. Besides, the conversation you we’re having with Cordelia last night while you were dancing was private, and I would never listen in on something like that. I am not a pervert,” Constance informed him.

 

“Sorry about that. I just have a tendency of sticking my foot in my mouth,” Xander said.

 

“We know that, but we love you anyway,” Cordelia said as she planted a kiss on Xander’s cheek.

 

“Well now that we have that all straightened out, Joyce, Carol, Constance, Maria, if you like, I can tie you into our communications network after school at Steve’s house,” Jenny said

 

“You could also store your gear there,” Steve added.  “Jenny can show you where.”

 

“Joyce, I think now would be a good time to tell them,” Carol said.

 

“You’re right, Carol.” Joyce replied. “Steve, Buffy, Carol and I planned to set you two up for a date sometime after Steve first came to town. Little did we know that you two would hit it off without any help. Now that we know you better, we don’t have to.”

 

“We could still go out,” Buffy suggested.

 

“Xander and I will take the patrol,” Cordelia offered.

 

“Right,” Xander added.

 

“You know, since he’s back in town, at least for now, Robert and I will join you,” Carol said.  “While we were in the same branch of the service, I did clerical work while he was in Force Recon.”

 

“I thought so. I can always tell when someone is a Marine,” Steve said.  “Anything else?”

 

“Constance, aren’t you endangering your job by coming here?” Giles asked.

 

“No, Mr. Giles,” she replied.  “I own 15% of the corporation that owns the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, and Buddy’s Diner, which is on the corner.  Duncan MacLeod owns the rest.”

 

“Wow, you own part of Buddy’s Diner? I saw the segment that Guy Fieri shot there for his show on the Food Network Diners, Drive-In’s, and Dives. They really went wild over the western omelet.”

 

“You watch the Food Network?” Joyce wanted to know.

 

“Not during the daytime. I like some of the shows they have on during the night. Like Iron Chef America. For a cooking show it’s really very exciting,” Xander replied.

 

 “Well now after that little slice of life. I think it’s time to adjourn,” Steve said.  The meeting then broke up as they went to work, or class.

 

*****

In The Hall – Immediately Afterward

 

“Cordelia’s a looser.  Cordelia’s a looser,” called out the now former Cordettes. The first thing Cordelia had done when she got to school that morning was dump all her popular “friends”. Coupled with her being seen with Xander at the Bronze last night had quickly led to her new status.

 

Cordelia spied Harmony leading the former Cordettes. Walking over to her, Cordelia leaned in, and told Harmony in a slow, cool voice “I don’t care if you think I’m a looser. There are more important things in the World than being popular. Someday you’ll realize that. For right now, you’re all a bunch of sheep as far as I’m concerned,”  

 

 It was all Harmony could do to keep from shaking as she saw the look in Cordelia’s eyes.

As Cordelia left her former friends, Harmony quickly regained her composure. <How could Cordelia say that being popular was not important. Nothing is MORE IMPORTANT that being popular,> Harmony thought to herself.

 

Cordelia, Willow, Amy, Oz, Xander, and Buffy said some quick good-byes as they headed to the first classes. Jenny, Constance, Steve, and Carol headed to where they were supposed to be while Giles stayed at the Library. That left Joyce, and Maria on their own as they walked back to where their cars were parked.

 

They we’re almost out of the school when a familiar voice snapped, “Mrs. Summers, what are you doing here with a maid?”

 

“Good morning, Principal Snyder,” Joyce said.  “Why do you sound so surprised to see me? After all, my daughter attends this school. So it’s only natural that you’ll see me here.”

 

<Don’t remind me of the bitch daughter of yours,> thought Synder. Out loud he said, “That’s not what I meant. Why are you here so early in the morning?” <Maybe I can find something I can use to finally get her daughter expelled permanently.>

 

“No big mystery there. We were coming from a quick meeting with Mr. Giles, and Miss Calendar about something we discussed at the last PTA meeting.” <We’ll have to come up with some other excuses if he catches us here again. Otherwise that is going to be one long PTA project.>

 

“Do you really expect me to believe that?” Snyder said, trying to be intimidating.

 

<Buffy is right. This guy is a little troll.> Joyce just glared at him as she said, “I don’t care what you believe, you melon head. That happens to be the truth.”

 

Snyder was taken aback by Joyce’s attitude towards him. Undaunted, however, Snyder continued “Maybe, or maybe not. However that doesn’t explain what this maid is doing here.”

 

“Principal Snyder, I’m not a maid,” Maria said.  “I’m the Chase family cook and housekeeper.  Since they’re away so much, they authorized me to act as Cordelia’s guardian.  Your secretary has a copy of the letter containing that authorization, as does the school nurse. So it actually makes sense that I would be at a meeting concerning the PTA. Of course that might be hard for someone whose head looks like a monkey’s rear end to figure out.”

 

Snyder gulped when he saw the looks in both women’s eyes. “I see. Well sorry to have bothered you. Good-bye ladies.” Snyder said nervously as he beat a hasty retreat.  Joyce and Maria were at the door when he stumbled and fell into Harmony and her friends, knocking them down.  They left as a couple of students helped them to their feet.

 

“With Mr. and Mrs. Chase due back later today I have errands to run and groceries to buy,” Maria said as they walked to their cars.  “Since I’ve been teaching her about house management and cooking, Cordelia isn’t as picky about her meals as her parents are.”

 

“I believe that,” began Joyce. “I met Cordelia’s parents once. Even though she tries to act like it she really doesn’t strike me as being as “snobbish” as her parents. I think your influence as well as Buffy’s, and the others really helped her turn into a better person than if she just had her parents.”

 

“You can count yourself, Carol, and Constance among that number now. The three of you are now a big part of Cordelia’s life, and I’m glad that she now has three stronger, positive role models to look up to.”

 

“Thanks for the compliment,” Joyce replied. “Well, I’ll let you go, and take care of what you have to. I have some things I need to get done before school lets out this afternoon. I promised Buffy to take her to Sunnydale Mall to get her some new clothes for her date with Steve tonight.”

 

Waving good-bye to each other Joyce and Maria left to take care of their respective tasks.

 

*****

Sunnydale HS Cafeteria
27 February 2014 - 12:15 Hours

 

Percy nodded to Pedro and Eric as they leave to decoy Snyder. He looked over to his remaining five friends. He grinned. < Harris is going to get his ass kicked when he gets here. >

*****

Xander strolled into the cafeteria and grinned at the four beautiful women sitting and waiting for him to join them at the corner table. < I can't believe how hot they've all become. > He quickly grabs a tray and rushes down the line taking a Salisbury steak lunch and a couple of cartons of milk. He made his way to the girl's table, he then found himself surrounded by the six largest members of the football team. Looking around him, he asked. "What's up guys?"

 

*****

 

Buffy looked up at the sound of a tray and dishes hitting the floor. "Oh, oh," Buffy murmured. Willow, Cordelia, and Amy look up from their meals.

 

"What's up, Buffy?" Willow asked.

 

"Look over by the lunch line. I think that little lesson that Constance said the football team was planning for Xander is underway.”

 

Looking over at the lunch line the four of them could see Xander surrounded by the football players.

 

Cordelia growled low in her throat, and then said “I’d like nothing better right now than to go over there, and deflate their football shaped heads. However, Buffy, you’re right. I can’t go, and let our secret out. Besides, Xander would never forgive me for making him look like a total wuss. So, what do we do?”

 

"We stand by and make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble," Willow replied as she got up and headed to the football players surrounding her best friend. She was quickly followed by Buffy, Cordelia and, Amy.

 

*****

 

Percy Williams knocked Xander's tray out of his hands. "I'm going to kick your scrawny ass, Harris."

 

"Moi?" Xander asked, pointing to himself. "What did I do?"

 

Percy shoved Xander, forcing him to take a step back. "You had your hands all over Cordelia at the Bronze last night. She's the property of the football team, not a loser like you."

 

"I'm what?" a shrill voice demanded from behind the football team. The football players turn around and find Cordelia, Buffy, Amy and Willow standing there, their hands across their chests; their eyes flashing.

 

Percy loomed over Cordelia. "Go back to your table, Cordelia, we're going to pound some manners into Harris."

 

Cordelia cocked her head back, not believing that Percy was treating her like a small child. "Just why are you going to do this?"

 

"Because you don't belong with this loser," Percy replied as he hit Xander's chest with an open palm; however Xander didn't move an inch. Percy failed to notice this as he glared at Cordelia while his teammates nodded their heads in agreement.

 

"Oh, really, just with whom do I belong with?" Cordelia asked, her voice soft, but tinged with a low growl coming from her throat.

 

"You're a cheerleader and popular. You don't need to hang out with Harris and his loser friends."

 

"Just *WHO* are you to tell me *WHO* I can and cannot hang with?" Cordelia demanded, her voice rising to a near shout, everyone in the cafeteria watched, waiting for the fight to begin. The room quitted down to where you could hear a pin drop when Cordelia added, “Just for your information Xander, Buffy, and the rest of what you call “losers” are much better friends to me than you and the other popular morons.”

 

Percy, and the other football players just look at her in shock. They can’t believe that those words had just come out of Cordelia’s mouth. <She’s just confused.> Percy thought deciding on what he believed to be the only explanation for Cordelia’s behavior. < Once we take care of Harris she should go back to her old self.>

Forging ahead Percy said "I'm the captain of the football team. It's my job to keep losers like Harris down and away from the popular crowd."

 

<That’s a job you’re about to get fired from.> "XANDER!" Cordelia snapped out, her voice ringing like a gunshot.

 

Xander snapped to attention. "Yes, Cordy?"

 

"Beat the Hell out of them! Break some bones if you have to!" Cordelia angrily replied as she, Buffy, Willow and, Amy step back.

 

Xander grinned, relishing the fight that's to come. "Outside. Now," he told the six football players.

 

Percy stares at him and wondered. < Why is he so calm? No way is Harris going to beat me up. > He watched as Xander walks out of the cafeteria and waits for Percy and his five friends. Percy looks at his teammates and they watch as he moves forward to fight Xander.

 

Xander watched as Percy suddenly rushes toward him, fist upraised. < Moron must think I'm going to go down fast. > Xander thought to himself as he calmly side stepped Percy's punch. As Percy is recovering from the swing, Xander danced in and snapped a quick kick to Percy's stomach. Percy went down in a huff of expelled air. As Percy went down clutching his stomach, Mike Payton rushed Xander. Xander looked over his shoulder as the 6'3" linebacker blindly rushed him. Xander snapped out a kick and connected with Mike's Jaw and he went down like a sack of potatoes.

 

The four remaining teammates quickly moved in and surrounded Xander. Xander looked around himself, constantly turning around, looking for an opportunity. He quickly saw his opening as he grabbed the nearest player, Sunnydale's best right tackle, Greg Thompson and tossed him into two of the remaining three teammates. Percy, looked up from the ground where Xander put him, watched his friend get thrown into his teammates, bringing all three of them down in a tangled heap of bodies, he wondered. < What the hell is going on here? That dweeb Harris can't do this shit. > As Percy got up to continue fighting, he felt a pain as Xander grabbed his arm and swung him into the wall. The last thing that Percy saw is the beige brick wall of the school as he smashed into it, face first. His body did a slow slide down the wall, as he fell to the ground, unconscious.

 

Xander looked up from Percy's groaning body and looked at the last standing member of the football team. Dave Johnson, the running back, stared at Xander and did the only thing he can think of doing. He ran away. Xander watches him run across the field and grinned to himself. He's knocked out of his thoughts as Cordelia shouted. "Watch out, Xander!" Xander turned and saw Greg, Bill and Luke trying to blind side him. Xander did a quick side step and kicked Luke in the stomach. He went down in a heap of exploded air, throwing up his recently eaten lunch. Xander then reversed the kick and planted his foot on Bill's jaw. The 6'4" full back collapsed like a suddenly empty sack. Xander moved back into a modified boxing stance and waited for Greg to make his move. Greg rushed forward, trying to tackle Xander to the ground, but Xander swept his leg up and forward and Greg somersaulted backward and lay in a crumpled heap.

 

Xander looked around himself and noticed that Mike Payton was getting back up. He stared around himself at the moaning bodies of his four friends and held up his hands. "Enough, Harris. I'm not going to fight you."

 

"What's wrong? The big, tough football player can't beat up a dweeb like Harris?" A mocking voice replied from the side. Xander turned and saw Jack O'Toole, the school thug, walking up and making fun of the football players as they lay on the ground, groaning. As he drew near Greg, he smacked him in the back of his head. O'Toole looked over to Xander and gave him an evil grin. Xander growled low in his throat as O'Toole walked up to him. Xander looked him straight in the eye and O'Toole realized something as he lost his mocking grin. < Shit! This guy's become hard. Better not screw with him until I get the old gang back together. > O'Toole's smile returned to his face as he contemplated the mayhem that he and his old gang were going to cause. He gives Xander a mocking salute and walks away.

 

Xander watches him go. < We're going to have problems with O'Toole, I can feel it. > He stiffens when he feels someone approach him from behind, but relaxes when he smells Cordelia's Chanel Number Five and felt her strong arms wrap around his waist.

 

Cordelia places her chin on his shoulder and asked. "Something going on between you and O'Toole?"

 

"Not yet. But I can't shake this feeling that I'm going to be going up against that psycho soon." Xander replied as he bores a hole into O'Toole's back with his eyes.

 

"We'll make sure that he doesn't do something stupid," Cordelia replied as Snyder storms up.

 

"What happened here?" he demanded, glaring at Cordelia, Xander, Buffy, Amy, and Willow.

 

"Nothing happened," Greg Thompson replied. "Me and the guys were just doing some extra scrimmaging, getting ready for this weekend's game."

 

Snyder glared at Greg and demanded, "Are you sure that's what happened?" Greg nodded his head, confirming the information. "If you're protecting Summers, I'll expel you." Snyder threatened as he stalked away. <After what happened with Summers mother, and that maid this morning I’d like nothing better than to expel her.>

 

Greg breathed a sigh of relief and looked over to Xander in fear. He got up and helped his friends carry away Percy to the school nurse. As he passed Xander and Cordelia, he spit out, "You can have her, Harris. We don't want anything to do with this ho." Xander growled low in his throat as he broke away from Cordelia, grabbed Greg by the back of his shirt, and slammed him, head first into the wall.

 

As Greg's sucking concrete, Xander leaned in and whispered, "If I hear a single bad thing about Cordy. I'm coming after the entire football team and you in particular." He then roughly pulled Greg from the wall and forced him away. Greg glared back, but rushed off after his friends.

 

Cordelia leaned in and seductively whispered, "Are you doing anything after school?"

 

Xander turned and grinned, "I am now."

 

"You better believe it, dweeb boy," Cordelia replied within a husky voice.

 

< I definitely have to do something nice for Artemis. > Xander thought to himself as he wrapped his arm around Cordelia's waist. His grin spread as Cordelia copped a feel of his ass. < Oh yeah. Something really nice. >

 

*****

 

Exterior of Sunnydale HS
27 February 15:00 Hours

 

Xander walked out of the school at three o'clock and looks around and doesn't see Buffy, Willow, Cordelia or Amy. He shakes his head in wonder and begins to walk toward Steve St. Wolf's house. < Cordy's probably got them all out shopping for the latest in 'Amazon' fashions. Might as well get in some time on the Nautilus. > He thinks to himself as he walks toward Bryant Terrace. As he walks, he begins to hum Barry Sadler's the Ballad of the Green Berets.

 

Fighting Soldiers from the sky,
Fearless men who jump and die,
Men who mean just what they say
The brave men of the Green Beret.

Silver wings upon their chests,
These are men, America's best,
One hundred men we'll test today,
But only three win the Green Beret.

Trained to live off nature's land,
Trained in combat, hand to hand,
Men who fight by night and day,
Courage take from the Green Beret.

Silver wings upon their chests,
These are men, America's best,
Men who mean just what they say,
The brave men of the Green Beret.

Back at home a young wife waits,
Her Green Beret has met his fate,
He has died for those oppressed,
Leaving her this last request:

Put silver wings on my son's chest,
Make him one of America's best,
He'll be a man they'll test one day,
Have him win the Green Beret.

 

Xander looked around himself as he shook his head in disbelief. < Where the hell do I know that song from? And why am I humming it? > As he's about to start a second chorus, a loud honking noise interrupted him. He turned to find a grinning Cordelia pulling up in her red convertible next to him.

 

*****

 

Buffy stood outside the school waiting for her mother with Willow. They both discussed what happened in the last twenty four hours.

 

"I can't believe how I feel." Willow replied with a grin.

 

"I know." Buffy replied as she looked her friend up and down. The soft dress was gone. Willow was wearing a tight pair of black jeans with a dark red silk blouse that brought out her hair, eyes and skin. Instead of her usual sneakers, she wore a pair of light hiking boots. Her easy manner masked her new abilities, but it didn't hide the confidence that she now displayed. Buffy grinned as several of the basketball players walk up to her and ask who she is. Willow shoots them down easily without hurting them.

 

As the disappointed basketball players walk off, Buffy's Mom pulled up in her dark green Cherokee Jeep and asked. "Are you ready?"

 

"Is it all right if Willow goes shopping with us?" Buffy asked as she opened the passenger side door and slid in.

 

"Sure," Joyce replied, glad to see Buffy's best friend and their sister Amazon.  "Where is Xander?  He's usually with you two after school."

 

"He left with Cordelia," Buffy replied with a grin.

 

As both girls get in, Joyce turned to Buffy and asked. "So how was school today?"

 

"It was good," Buffy replied, as she and Willow share an evil grin.

 

Joyce looked back and sees both girls' grin. "Did anything special happen, besides Cordelia dumping her old friends and the football team going after Xander?"

 

Buffy looked over to Willow, who was barely controlling her laughter. "Snyder threatened to expel Greg Thompson, one of the football players, if he found out

 

that he was protecting me," Buffy replied.

 

"Oh? Why would he do that?" Joyce asked as she pulled into a spot at the mall.

 

"The troll, as we call him, detests all of the students, especially Buffy and the rest of our group," Willow replied.

 

“I know what you mean. Maria and I ran into that little pest on the way out of the school this morning. It was just before running into him that we saw Cordelia dump her “sheepish” friends,” Joyce told them. “You’re right about his being a troll.”

 

“What happened when you ran him?” Buffy asked.

 

“He wasn’t exactly polite. Let’s just say he was lucky to leave with his teeth intact.” 

 

The three of them laugh as they walk into the GAP, Buffy asked, "What are we shopping for?"

 

"Some new clothes for your date tonight," Joyce replied. "I've already got myself something earlier.  Find yourself something nice to go to the movies with. I have a pair of tickets to Pompeii."

 

Buffy looked up to the sky in supplication, but Joyce's glare moved her to pick out a beige blouse and a new pair of blue jeans. Buffy looked over to Willow and asked, "Willow grab up those other jeans and let’s try them in the changing room."

 

"Sure, Buffy," Willow replied with a smile as she helps her friend.

 

In the changing room, Buffy put on the pink and khaki sweater twin set and a pair chocolate brown Levis and turned around. "Think Steve will like me dressed like this?"

 

Willow giggled, "He likes you dressed in everything." < And probably, not dressed at all. >

 

Buffy made a face and looked at herself in the mirror, and liked what she saw. "Mom can't complain about this outfit. Could she?"

 

"No she can't," Willow replied, softly laughing behind her hand, enjoying Buffy's indecisiveness. Buffy glared at her and left the dressing room. Joyce was outside, waiting to inspect her.

 

Joyce nodded her head. "That outfit is perfect for a first date. Steve is going to love it. Do you want to wear it out of here?"

 

"Sure, Mom," Buffy replied as they walk up to the register to pay for Buffy's clothes. After Joyce paid, the sales girl reached behind the counter and grabs the tag remover and takes off the tag from the sweaters. She walked from behind the counter, reaching for the tag on Buffy's waist, but a hand stopped her.

The girl looked up and saw the manager standing there with a smirk on his face and asked. "Mr. Jones, what can I help you with today?" < Oh Damn! He's going to do it again. Oh God. I hope he's watching. >

 

"Did this young lady pay for these pants?" Jones asked with a smirk on his acne riddled face.

 

"Of course she did," Joyce replied with a glare.

 

"I didn't ask you, Ma'am," Jones replied in a mocking voice. < I never liked uppity bitches. Now I'm going to have some fun. >

 

Jones gave her another smirk, "From what I see, your daughter is stealing those pants."

 

Joyce stormed forward, her eyes glaring in Motherly wrath and demanded. "Who the hell are you to talk to my daughter like that? And what right do you have to act this way towards you’re paying customers?"

 

"She's a thief and I'll treat her like one," Jones snickered.

 

Joyce moved to confront Jones, but suddenly stopped, “Nice try, pizza face. You’ll just have to cook up another excuse to have me arrested.”

 

Jones lost his grin for a second. < Damn, this bitch is smart. No other cunt has ever figured it out this quickly before. > "Miss Clark, please call Mall security and have these ‘people' arrested."

 

"I wouldn't recommend that," a hard male voice replied from the side. Jones turned and saw a tall man dressed in an expensive business suit. His light brown hair was cut conservatively and his face clearly showed his anger.

 

Buffy looks at Willow, and she nods back as they recognize their knight in shining armor, Nick Raven. Buffy felt the approach of another Immortal and looked over to where Nick was standing and saw his Immortal wife, Katherine. "What is going on here?" Nick demanded.

 

"Who the hell are you?" Jones demanded, not liking this well-dressed man and woman one bit.

 

Nick and Katherine both grin without a trace of humor showing. "We're the Ravens. Jonathan Hart just made us the heads of security for his west coast mall division. I want to know what is going on here," Nick demanded as a half dozen security guards run up. The Sergeant in charge saw the Ravens and walked up to them and respectfully stood at attention, waiting for orders.

 

Jones didn't like the turn of events, but presses forward, in a loud voice, "That girl is trying to steal those pants and her mother is helping her do it. I want them arrested for shop lifting." People on the concourse stopped and stared at the scene unfolding.

 

Nick just shook his head in disbelief. He looked over to the old Sergeant and saw that he, and most of his officers also share his and Katherine's disgust at this man. < Bastard thinks that he's going to get away with it? Don't think so. > Nick turns to Joyce and asked, "Do you have a receipt for the pants?"

 

Joyce handed over her credit card receipt and the register tape to Nick. He looked them over and walked over to Buffy and checks the product codes and grunts in satisfaction. He walked over to Jones and loudly demanded, "Why are you bothering these women? They paid for the pants. The register and credit card receipts are from less than ten minutes ago."

 

Jones glared at Nick and demanded. "Who the hell are you to tell me how to run my business? I'm telling you that these women are trying to shoplift from my store. What are you going to do about it?"

 

*****

 

Buffy and Willow looked over to Katherine Raven and gave her small grins. Katherine grinned back and walked over. She leaned in and quietly asked. "What happened to Willow?"

 

"She and the other girls became Amazons," Buffy whispered back, holding in her laughter at the shock registering on Katherine's face.

 

"How?" she whispered back, not believing what she just heard.

 

"Tell you later when we get done with this," Buffy nodded to Jones, who was now pissing off Nick Raven. "Not a very bright man, is he?"

 

"No. Morons like that usually aren't," Katherine confirmed as she watches Jones swing on her husband.

 

*****

 

"To the ladies, nothing. But you are not going to be working in this mall anymore. After I file my report with my superiors, you won't be working in any of the malls owned by Hart Industries," Nick replied as he turned to the Sergeant. "Mike, this guy is to be kicked out of the mall and not allowed back in. I want his photo passed around to every guard and if he's found on mall property, he's to be arrested for criminal trespass. Any questions?"

 

"No, Sir!" The sergeant replied crisply. He looked over to Jones and told him. "You heard Mr. Raven. Get your coat, you're leaving right now."

 

"Like Hell I am!" Jones shouted and swung on Nick. Nick ducked under the swing and kicked out, knocking Jones to the ground, where the six guards swarm all over him and handcuff Jones' hands behind his back. Jones grimaced at the pain and humiliation that the guards were causing and curses out Nick.

 

Nick just stood there and watched as the guards move to eject Jones from the store. He just shook his head in disgust and turned to the sales girl. "Miss Clark." When she doesn't respond, Nick used her first name. "Donna?" She turned her head to him. "Thank you for telling us about what he was doing. I'll make sure that all of the people arrested here for shoplifting have their records cleared."

 

"Thanks for listening to me, Mr. Raven." The girl replied evenly, wondering what's going to happen to her.

 

"I already contacted the regional manager and he's confirmed that you can be the new manager for this store." Donna grinned. "Mike will have a guard escort you to and from your car until further notice."

 

"Thank you, Sir," Donna replied and went back to the counter, picked up the de-tagging machine and removed the tag from Buffy's pants. As she removed the tag, she explained, "I'm sorry that this happened to you, but Mr. Jones has this prejudice against women who are rich."

 

"But we're not rich," Joyce replied.

 

"You dress well enough and look successful, that's all he needed," Donna replied.

 

"Thank you for your help," Joyce replied.

 

"Thank Mr. Raven," Donna replied. "He took the time to listen to me when I told him about Mr. Jones. The previous security chief wouldn't listen to anyone."

 

Joyce turns to Nick and thanked him. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Raven."

 

"Always a pleasure to help three beautiful women." Nick replied with a grin as he walked away with Katherine.

 

Joyce watched Nick walk away and smiles. < Why does he remind me of Steve? >

 

"Earth to Mom," Buffy commented with a grin. "Stop drooling, Mom. He's married." < Nick has a great butt. I can see why Mom's watching it. >

 

Joyce sighed, "A woman can always dream." Then she turned back to Buffy and Willow, "Buffy, if you want to cancel for tonight, I'll sure that Steve will understand."

 

"No. I'll go, Mom. I’m not going to let that human speed bump ruin my night. Besides, this way the tickets don't go to waste."

"All right then," Joyce replied as she gathers together their packages. "Let's go."

 

As they walk out the store, the older guard called Mike, walked up to them. He tipped his hat as he explained, "Mr. Raven wanted me to have two of the boys escort you to your car, Mrs. Summers."

 

"Why?"

 

"In case that jerk tries something on mall property. I have a pair of officers waiting to escort you to your car and to escort you home, if you want it."

 

"All right. We were leaving anyway. I don’t mind the escort to the car, but I don’t think it’s necessary to escort us all the way home." Joyce said as one of the guards took her bags from her and two more guards walk next to them.<That little pest would really be stupid to try something now on the mall’s property. However, if he tried anything after we leave we’re more than capable of dealing with him now.>

 

 They walked out of the mall and escorted them to Joyce's Cherokee. Joyce opened the back window, and the guard with the packages put them in and gently closed the window as Joyce turned on the motor.

 

They quickly drive over to Lancaster Antiques, and park in front, next to a motorcycle. As Joyce walked over to the front door, she looked over at the motorcycle, a 1974 Harley Soft Tail and grinned. < Looks like Steve's here. >

 

Buffy and Willow exchanged grins. < Looks like Steve's here. >

 

Joyce noticed that Buffy and Willow are both admiring the motorcycle and grinned. < Trust a motorcycle to pique a girl's interest. > "Let's go in." Joyce told Buffy and Willow. Both of them turn with big grins on their faces. "If you're wondering, the motorcycle is Steve's."

 

“We know, Mom. We saw him with it before,” Buffy said.

 

<I should have guessed that she would have seen Steve’s motorcycle by now,> Joyce thought as Buffy gives her a grin, and walks towards the open door.

As they entered, Carol Lancaster walks out of the back, and gave each a hug. "I'll get Steve from the back."

 

*****

 

In the back, Steve and Robert are lifting a desk to an upper rack and both men are sweating profusely. As they gently place the 18th century accountant's desk where they want it, both men grab a quick break. Robert sat down on a handy chair and breathes deeply as he looked over the warehouse. "Damn, but we got a lot of work done today."

 

Steve looked over the remaining two thirds of the warehouse to be sorted and put away. "We've got a good two, three more weeks of hard work here, Robert. Why don't we hire some laborers to help with it?"

 

"Would if I could," Robert replied. "But getting them to come to Sunnydale is impossible."

 

“With two hundred plus vampires in this small town? No wonder,” Steve said.

 

"Yeah.  At least you and your friends are doing something about it,” Robert said.  Robert looked over to where his wife was walking towards them and asked, "Who's in the front of the store?"

 

"Joyce Summers is here," Carol replied.

 

Robert looked at his wife and asked, "Is she alone?"

 

"No, her daughter, Buffy is here as well.  Remember, we’re on patrol with Xander and Cordelia tonight while Steve and Buffy go on a date.”

 

Steve quickly picks up his shirt and walks to the door. Robert, seeing where he was going, called out, "Steve, have a good evening."

 

Steve turned back and said, "We will.”

 

*****

 

"Before you two leave, take these." Joyce told them as she handed over the tickets to Pompeii.

 

Steve looked at them and just shook his head in amusement. "Trying to stack the deck, Joyce?"

 

"Don't go there, Steve. You'll never win," Buffy told him as she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the store.

 

Joyce watched as Buffy got on Steve's motorcycle and the two quickly leave. She turned to Willow and asked. "Do you want a ride home?  I stopped at Steve’s on the way to school and got my comm unit."

 

"Sure, Mrs. Summers," Willow replied with a laugh as she watched Buffy put on Steve's extra helmet.

 

*****

 

Reggie Jones watches from his dark blue Ford Taurus as the daughter got on a motorcycle with some guy and left with him. < Damn! The little cunt's leaving. Now I'm only going to get her mother and the red head. > He watched as Joyce and Willow get back into the Jeep and he followed the pair, his sedan unnoticed. He watched as the woman dropped off the young woman by a house and boy with red hair grabbed her up in a hug. Reggie silently cursed to himself as he passed Willow's house. < The little red haired bitch has a boyfriend. I'll get them later. > He followed Joyce to her house and grinned, < Good! The bitch doesn't have a man at home. > He watches her get out of the car and take her packages inside. < I think that I'm going to enjoy myself before I kill them both. Then, I'll get the red head. >

 

*****

 

Buffy leaned in and wrapped her hands around Steve's waist. < God, I can't believe that I'm actually dating Steve with Mom's permission. > She tightened her grip around his waist as he made a quick turn. A few blocks down the road, Steve stopped the bike in front of a strip mall. Buffy let go of him and sat back on the bike.

 

Steve turns around and kisses her. "So do you want dinner first or the movie?" Steve asked after their lips break apart.

 

"Uh." Buffy replied, her eyes distant and dazed. Steve grinned and kissed her again. She regained a measure of her composure and checked the tickets. "We have time for some dinner first. The movie doesn't start for at least an hour."

 

"Good. Got a place in mind?" Steve asks as he turned around and started the motorcycle.

 

"Yeah. How about the Mickey D's on Main Street?" Buffy asked.

 

Steve shrugged his shoulders and replied over the sound of the 800 cc engine. "Sure, why not?"

 

Buffy grinned. < Wait until everyone sees the hunk that I'm dating. >

 

They quickly made it over to the McDonald's and Buffy slid off the back of the motorcycle. When Steve got off, she wrapped her arm around his waist and they walked in.

 

*****

 

Harmony watched as the motorcycle pulls into the parking lot and looked over to her friend Ambrosia, who's also staring in open lust. "I must be dreaming," Harmony muttered.

 

"Why?" Francesca asked, her back to Steve.

 

"Because the guy from my dreams is walking towards us," Harmony replied, but then she saw Buffy wrap her arm around Steve's waist. "Ewww. Isn't that Buffy? What's she doing with my dream guy?"

 

"Dating him?" Ambrosia replied stupidly.

 

Harmony turned on her. "Get away from me, you stupid cow. How dare you tell me something like that?"

 

Buffy smiled as she passed Harmony and her two friends. Harmony glared back, but backed down as Buffy glared at her. "Why does she always get the hunks? First that dark-haired hunk, now this one."

 

*****

 

Buffy and Steve quietly stood in line and looked up at the board. "So, what do you want to eat?" Steve asked as they near the register.

 

"A Big Mac meal." Buffy replied with a smile.

 

Steve grinned as he began, "I always liked a woman who. . ."

 

Before he can complete the sentence the man in front of them screamed, "Everybody down!! This is a hold up!!" As he turns to threaten the patrons, Steve and Buffy quickly separate and the gunman swiveled his head to follow them both. Before he can point his gun at either of them, Steve kicked it out of his hand as Buffy moved in and kicked him in the gut, which she quickly followed up with an elbow smash to the side of his head. The gunman went down for the count.

Buffy and Steve looked at each other and just grin as the patrons began to clap. "Ever wonder if the Gods want us together?" Steve asked.

 

Buffy stepped over the fallen gunman and gave Steve a hug as she quietly muttered. "Never say that, honey. You never know who'll be listening."

Steve sighed and looked over to the girl behind the counter. "Can you please call the police to pick up this moron?" The girl numbly nodded her head and quickly went to the manager's office. Steve looked at the girl at the next register. "Could you get us two Big Mac meals, please?"

 

"What kind of sodas?"

 

"Diet Cokes," Steve replied as the girl rushed away and quickly gathered up the food and brought it back on a single tray. Steve dropped a ten dollar bill on the counter and picked up the tray and they walked over to a nearby table.

 

As they sit down, a pair of Sunnydale police officers rush into the store and cover the unconscious gunman. <Boy, that looks really ridiculous.> Steve thought watching the two officers. <What do they expect him to do melt thought the floor?>

 

The two officers looked stupidly around, not believing what they saw. The older officer walked up to the manager and he asked, "What happened?"

 

The manager pointed to Buffy and Steve while the cashier told them, "This guy shoves a gun in my face and tells me to empty out my cash drawer. Well, I'm doing it and he turns around to point the gun at everyone here and that guy and girl take him down like they were Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Lee. It was, like, he didn't stand a chance."

 

The older officer just shook his head in disbelief and walked over to Steve and Buffy's table. He looked down at the young couple and demanded, "Do you two realize how close you came to dying over there? I should have you two arrested for endangering the lives of everyone in here."

 

Steve and Buffy looked at each other and just shake their heads in disgust. Steve looked back at the officer and quietly told him. "Officer, if you don't want to do your job, feel free to let him go. I'm sure that the next person that he robs will be more giving and a lot less willing to defend themselves. And as far as my lady and I are concerned, we have no problem with what we did. If you have a problem with it, arrest us and my attorneys will ream the Sunnydale PD a completely new series of assholes."

 

After Steve finishes the entire establishment erupts in a round of applause..

 

The officer glares at Steve and Buffy. "Wait right here. I'm calling my supervisor."

 

"Feel free." Steve replied as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

 

As the officer walked away, Buffy asked, "Why are you taking such a hard line with the cops?"

 

"I hate dealing with morons," Steve murmured angrily. "And the Sunnydale police are some of the worst that I've ever dealt with."

 

"Especially Detective Stein," Buffy shoot back with a grin.

 

"Especially him," Steve agreed, remembering his first meeting with Stein almost three weeks before as a shadow falls across their table. Buffy and Steve look up from their meal and both lose their appetites.

 

"I should have known it was you two," Detective Stein muttered under his breath. "Do you have anything to say before I arrest you?"

 

Steve grinned, "I'll tell you what, Stein. How about you do that and I use my phone call to call my lawyer, who will call our friends Mulder and Scully and my old friend Jack Ryan. My lawyer will sue you personally, the Sunnydale PD and the city. Mulder, Scully and Jack will move in and start investigating everyone on the police force, the city officials and anyone else they can get their hands on."

 

Stein tried to out-bluff Steve, "St. Wolf, I don't give a crap about your friends Mulder and Scully. I did some checking and those two and they are not exactly popular with their superiors. As to this Jack Ryan guy, I could care less whom the fuck he is." Steve grinned as he pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a business card and handed it to Stein. Stein looked down at it and he choked back a gasp. < It couldn't be. What the fuck is St. Wolf doing with a card from the Director of the CIA? > He looked back at St. Wolf and saw only a grim line where his smile was before.

 

"Feel free to give Jack a call and tell him hi from me," Steve replied without a trace of humor. "Then tell him that you arrested one of his best friends and his girlfriend while they were having dinner in a McDonald's, after they took down some moron trying to hold up the place."

 

Stein just stared at Steve and bit back the smart reply that came to his lips and he just turned around and left the restaurant, taking the other police officers and the gunman with him. The manager of the McDonald's walked over and politely asked. "Is there anything else you two need?"

 

Steve put down his napkin, looked over to Buffy and saw the same look of disgust. He quietly sighed and turned to the manager. "No thank you. Detective Stein ruined our appetites."

 

“You know, Stein is in the wrong line of work. He could make a fortune renting out his face as a diet aid. Anyone who sees it immediately loses their appetite.” Buffy said.

 

The manager nodded and took their tray. As Buffy and Steve got up to leave, the manager quietly told them, "Come back when you feel like eating and I'll treat you both to dinner. The cops might not appreciate what you did, but the staff and I do. That bastard's robbed us three times this year and the cops didn't give a damn."

 

Buffy and Steve both nodded and left.

 

*****

 

Outside, Harmony watched them leave. She turned to her two friends, muttering, "That ho must be putting out. No wonder the guys are going for her." Both of her friends nodded their heads in agreement and watched, wondering what a guy like that was like.

 

*****

 

Buffy and Steve walked to his motorcycle, as they stood next to it, Steve asked. "Do you want to go home or go to the movie?"

 

"Let's go to the movie. Mom put a lot of effort into getting us together. So let's not blow it over Stein." <Or that idiot from the GAP store either.>

 

Steve gave her a hug. "Okay." And he got on his motorcycle and Buffy climbed on behind him.

 

*****

 

Several hours later, Buffy and Steve walked out of the theater, each hugging the other. As they walked to the motorcycle, Steve wryly commented. "I've never seen such a load of bullshit in my entire life."

 

Buffy smacked him. "It was a beautiful love story."

 

Steve snorted. "Yeah, right. I've heard the story of what happened at Pompeii from several Immortals who actually were there, and from their descriptions, the story is quite different."

 

"Just how was it different?" Buffy demanded, her foot, tapping the ground, showing how pissed she was that Steve was ruining the romantic atmosphere.

 

Steve grinned and grabbed her up and kissed her. "Nothing to worry about my lady, just take it on faith that history's been re-written by Hollywood, yet again."

 

Buffy laughed and broke away, getting on the motorcycle. "Let's go. Mom will be happy to have you over for coffee."

 

Steve laughed lightly and they rode off to Revello Drive.

 

*****

 

Outside of the Summers’ house, Reggie Jones moved to the back door and looks through the window and grinned to himself as he fondled a machete. < Good! The bitch is still alone. Now I'll get even with her. > He stared at Joyce through the door and as she turned her back to him, he rushed forward and crashes through the door.

 

Joyce looks back to where the noise comes from and screamed. "What are you doing here!? Get Out of My House!!"

 

Jones gave her a maniacal grin as he grabbed her arm. "I'm here to get even with you two bitches for getting me fired. I'm going to tie you up and wait for your little slut to come and then we'll have a party."

 

Quickly recovering her composure, Joyce put her hands on her hips. “Oh, really. I think you’re in for a really big surprise, lizard lips,” she told Jones in a very calm, and cold voice.

 

<Silly bitch thinks she can intimidate me. Well now I teach her a lesson she’ll never forget,> thought Jones as he lunges at Joyce.

 

*****

 

(Summer’s house Several minutes later)

 

Steve and Buffy returned to Buffy’s house after their date. The pair noticed that the light is on in the living room through the window.

 

“Well I guess, Joyce decided to wait up for us,” Steve informed Buffy.

 

Buffy nodded, “Even though she and Carol are the ones that set us up on this date I guess that mom just wants to know how everything went. You know she wouldn’t be this curious if it was anyone, but me. I guess it’s always different when you’re dealing with your own kids.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Steve said as the pair walked up to the house’s front door. When they got to it Buffy opened the door, and motioned for Steve to follow her in. Once in the main entryway Buffy took off her coat, and handed it to Steve who had just removed his.

 

“Mom, are you in the living room?” Buffy called out while Steve hung up their coats.

 

“Yes, I am, honey,” Joyce answered from the living room.

 

Buffy and Steve moved to the doorway with the living room. As soon as they saw the scene in the living room they stopped dead in their tracks with shocked expressions on their faces.

 

“Hi, dear. Did you and Steve have a good time?” asked Buffy’s mother from her position on the living room sofa as she put down the book she had been reading. She was dressed in a pair of pajamas with a robe tied over them.  Joyce’s bare feet rested on the other sofa cushion while a pair of slippers sat in front of the couch.

 

However this was not what caused Steve and Buffy’s shocked expressions. It was what was on the coffee table in front of Joyce that did it.

 

“Mom, just what the hell happened here?!” Buffy asked when she finally found her voice.

 

“Oh, not much,” Joyce began very calmly like she simply was telling Buffy about the weather. “I just changed into something more comfortable, had a bite to eat, watched some TV, and then read for a while. Oh, I almost forgot. I caught this pimple faced perpetrator trying to attack me after breaking in here,” Joyce finished as she glared at the squirming figure securely hogged tied on the coffee table. A large gag was stuffed in his mouth.

 

The tied up man on the table tried to say something thru the gag, but all that came out was something that sounded like, “Hamm, humph, thumb, dumbs.”  Joyce leaned over to the side to look in his face while she said, “That’s easy for you to say.”

 

“He broke in here, and tried to attack you?” Steve asked. Seeing Joyce nod he then asked, “Do you know who this idiot is?”

 

“Yeah, he’s that creepy former manager from The Gap store at the mall, Reggie Jones. He probably wanted to get back at us for getting him fired today,” Buffy told Steve as she explained to him just what happened when she and her mother had gone shopping earlier in the day for clothes for their date.

 

It didn’t take Steve long to figure out what had happened next. Jones had wanted revenge, and he broke into Buffy’s house thinking Joyce was an easy target. < Boy, I would have loved to see the expression on his face when Joyce took him down. That’ll teach him to go up against an enhanced Amazon,> thought Steve.

 

Steve moved over to where Jones was tied up on the table. Removing his gag Steve told him, “You know this town has enough trouble with all the ‘gang members on PCP’ without nutcases like you adding to it. Anything to say for yourself?”

 

Jones spit several times, trying to wet his lips. Finally he looks at Steve hatefully as he said, “That bitch is just lucky you’re finally here, tough guy.”

 

An incredible chill runs up Jones spine as he sees the smile on Steve’s face. In a calm voice Steve tells him, “I think you got that backwards. You’re the lucky one. You’re lucky she didn’t kill you.” Steve stuffed the gag back into Jones’ mouth.

 

*****

 

“Well, now what do we do with him?” Buffy asks.

 

“I already called the Police. With what happened at the mall, and now this he should be going away for a long time. Of course, I don’t know what could be taking them so long. I called them almost twenty minutes ago.” Joyce explained.

 

“Probably making the manager of the local Dunkin Donuts a millionaire,” Steve mentioned as he looked around the room “I have to say Joyce, I’m really impressed.”

 

“With what, Steve?”

 

“He broke in here, attacked you, and you managed to take him out without causing too much damage to the living room.”

 

Joyce laughs lightly as she tells Steve “That’s because all the fun stuff happened in the kitchen. Which I can use some help straighten up later. Especially the back door.”

 

“What’s wrong with the back door?” Buffy asks.

 

“We don’t have one right now,” Joyce explained.

 

“I’m guessing that’s how micro mind here got in?” Steve asked.

 

Joyce nodded as she slipped her feet into her slippers. Just then the sound of a car coming to a stop in front of the house reaches their ears.

 

**********

 

Steve looked out the Summers’ living room window when he saw flashing lights, and heard a car come to a screeching halt outside on the street. Steve saw a Sunnydale police car parked in front of the house with two officers getting out of it, and heading toward the front door. Steve quickly moved toward the door.

 

“Open up, Sunnydale Police!” one of the officers shouted as he pounded on the door.

 

Steve looked at Buffy who said, “Go on, Steve.” Steve opened the door, and the two officers quickly moved inside. Steve noticed that their name tags read “Officer Addams”, and “Officer West”. Steve just rolls his eyes.

 

“Are you the one who reported the home invasion emergency?” asked Officer Addams.

 

“That was me. I’m the home owner, and it’s not much of an emergency anymore. Seeing how long it took you to get here,” Joyce told them.

 

“Okay, just calm down madam. There is no need to panic. Do you need medical attention?” asked Officer Addams as he moved over to Joyce, and grabbed her by the arms. “Better call for an ambulance!”

 

“HOLD IT!” Joyce loudly said getting the two officers attention. Then in a lower voice she added “Now just wait a minute you two nitwits. I am calm. I am not panicking. I don’t need medical attention, and I certainly don’t need an ambulance!”

 

Before either Officer can say anything a new person joins the group by the front door after finally arriving. “What is going on here?” Detective Stein asks, and then once he sees Buffy he adds, “Well, Summers, looks like you did it now. Caught breaking in to someone’s house. You’ll go away a long time for this this more than makes up for your embarrassing me at that McDonald’s,”

 

Joyce looked at Steve for an explanation, but his expression told her it will have to wait until later.

 

“Oh, really. Just when did it become a crime to walk into my own home?” Buffy asks him mockingly.

 

“Your home?” asked Officer West clearly confused. “I thought this lady said she was the home owner?”

 

“I AM the home owner. She IS MY daughter. She LIVES here with me,” Joyce told the Officer. Then to Stein, Joyce added, “You should know that Buffy lives here, Detective. After all you did investigate a case here once, or did you forget?” She couldn’t believe the level of incompetence she was seeing from Stein.

 

Stein looked at Joyce. Then, as he indicated Buffy, and Steve he asked, “Wait, a minute. These two didn’t try breaking in here?”

 

“Stein, when it comes to stupidity you just reached a new high in lows,” Joyce told him. “Why would they need to break in when they have a key to the front door that I am admitting to giving them willingly. Not to mention the fact that they didn’t even need the key. I LET THEM IN!”  Stein looked stunned while the two officers were trying to hide grins. Buffy and Steve had big smiles on their faces. Both were clearly impressed with the way that Joyce was handling Stein.

 

“If these two didn’t break in then just what in the world are we doing here? I could have you arrested for filing a false report!” Stein told Joyce as he shook a finger in her face.

 

“I suggest you remove that finger before I remove it from your hand,” Joyce informed Stein who quickly removed his finger. Joyce then added “I didn’t file a false report. Someone did break in. That pile of garbage tied up in the living room.”

 

Stein looked in to the living room, catching sight of Reggie Jones tied up on the coffee table. Stein then said with a smile “Oh, now I understand why I’m here. To arrest that guy for breaking, and entering and to arrest St Wolf for assault.”

 

“Hate to spoil your good mood Stein, but that’s not what happened,” Steve told him. “Buffy and I just got back from our date. The roach motel occupant in the living room broke in while Mrs. Summers was here by herself,” Steve finished as his own smile grew while seeing Stein’s disappear.

 

“What are you trying to say?” Stein asked Steve not sure he really wanted an answer.

 

“Just this. He was the ‘assaulte’, Mrs. Summers was the ‘assaulter’,” Steve informed Stein.

 

Stein couldn’t believe what he just heard. Looking over at Joyce he said, “Her?! You’re telling me that she managed to take that guy down, and tie him up all by herself? Do I look that stupid to you that you expect me to believe a cock and bull story like that?! A middle aged dried up former house wife managed this that is the silly…Hump”

 

Stein didn’t get a chance to finish what he was going to say because Joyce suddenly had Stein by the throat, and was holding him by one hand pinned to the wall several inches off the floor. Joyce grabbed an umbrella out of the umbrella stand next to the door. Showing it to Stein she told him in a calm and cool voice, “One more smart remark like that, Stein, and I’ll stick this umbrella down your pants and open it. Now, I reported a crime, and caught the guy responsible. Do you think you could possibly do your job, and at least arrest him without causing any more trouble?” Joyce let Stein go once she finished.

 

After straightening out his tie he said to Joyce, “Okay, we’ll arrest him for breaking, and entering and you for assaulting a police officer!”

 

“Ha, Detective. Which police officer did she assault?” asked Officer Addams.

 

“You know perfectly well which police officer she just assaulted!” Stein yelled not believing what he just heard.

 

“How should we know? We were too busy keeping an eye on the only suspect we know of around here,” said Officer West as he pointed at Jones.

 

Stein looked at Steve. Steve just told him, “Who, us? You know perfectly well we won’t back you up on this. Oh, and by the way. Before you get any bright ideas about arresting us for going out on a date the only thing we did was go to dinner, and a movie. Would you like to see the time stamped receipts? You should at least know when we had dinner.”

 

Stein threw up his hands in defeat. Looking at the two officers he almost growled as he told them, “You two can take care of this by your selves. I’ll be waiting for you back at Headquarters. I have more important things to take care of.” With that Stein left.

 

Once Stein was out of earshot Officer Addams said, “Boy, I thought he’d never leave. How that dipstick ever got to be Chief of Detectives I’ll never know.”

 

“Of course, it was a lot of fun seeing that dope on a rope finally get some of what he deserves from someone who’s not afraid to stand up to him,” added Officer West.

 

“Pardon me for asking, but you two don’t exactly strike me as being like most of the other cops in Sunnydale we’ve encountered?” Steve asked curious.

 

“Most of the regular patrol officers and some of the junior detectives know all about Sunnydale and its night life. It’s mostly the more superior officers like Stein, and the rest that give the more competent officers a bad name. Speaking on behalf of the more competent group we didn’t fail to notice the two times over the last couple of years when Sunnydale’s undead population suffered a major decline, and we just wanted to say thanks,” Addams informed Steve, Buffy, and Joyce. Then pulling out his notebook he added, “Now that we got that out of the way let’s just get your statements, and then we can go remove some garbage for you.” 

 

After the officers left, Buffy, Joyce, and Steve went into the kitchen and looked things over.  “Joyce, you need a new back door,” he said.  “I’ll stay down here tonight and we’ll replace it tomorrow.”  He touched his comm, said, “All call,” and he, with Joyce’s help, briefed the Scoobies on the situation.  Robert, Oz, and Xander agreed to come over the next morning, with tools, to help replace the back door.     

*

*********

 

The next morning, Robert, Oz, and Xander come with tools.  They’re followed by Carol, Maria, Cordelia, Willow, Amy, Constance, Giles, and Jenny.  “The Chases had a change in plans,” Maria said.  “They’re due in later today.”

 

“Or so they say,” Cordelia said.

 

“True.”

 

The ladies, and Giles, relaxed in the living room.  “The DVD we’re about to watch was shot in the Sunnydale High Gymnasium about three weeks ago,” Jenny said.  “All the fighters on the floor were Immortals.  Our mortal friends, including Constance’s fellow WildCat, Natalia Boa Vista, were up on the running track, spraying holy water, recording the event, or protecting the others.  They thought they were facing only Buffy, Steve, and his friend, Frank.  The man who the vampires thought was Frank was actually Detective Mac Taylor of the NYPD Crime Lab.”  She started the DVD. 

 

When they saw the fireballs, Jenny paused the DVD and Buffy explained, “Natalia fired the arrow.  The fireballs, which were from Dragon’s Breath shells, were the signal for the other Immortals to attack.”

 

Jenny restarted the DVD and, as she continued, pointed out various Immortals.  “That’s Lieutenant Horatio Caine of the Miami-Dade Police Department.  He told Snyder that he was Buffy’s uncle.”

 

“If Snyder asks, I’ll tell him that he’s related to us through Jonathan Hart’s mother,” Joyce said.

 

“Jennifer Hart is a Standing,” Buffy explained.

 

“Oh,” Jenny said, advancing the DVD.  “That’s Katherine Raven, who was my teacher.  She and her husband, Nick, who is on the running track, helped me with Buffy’s martial arts and firearms training.”  She pointed out others, too. 

 

When the DVD ended, Joyce said, “One of those ladies looked like Fallon Carrington.”

 

“She was there,” Buffy said.  “She was kidnapped by a flying saucer and spent twenty-two or so years on an alternate Earth.”

 

“She recently joined forces with the FBI’s Bureau 13, a federal group that does what we do,” Jenny said.  “They supplied us with our armor and communications gear.”

 

“The prototype of our Amazon Battle Armor was designed for Jennifer Hart,” Carol said.  “After she put it through its paces, it was offered only to our family.  Bureau 13 heard about it.  They approached the Harts and talked about things with them.  Eventually, Hart Industries created a lighter-weight version that could have magic added to it and it was sold only to Bureau 13.”

 

“And they issued it to us,” Willow stated.

 

“Right,” Carol said as the guys came in.

 

“All done,” Steve said.  “Joyce, you have a new back door.”

 

END