Author: NorJC
E-mail Address: Norjc@aol.com; Steve711@concentric.net
Title: The Section Seven Chronicles - Leave Your Hat On!
Copyrighted: April 2002
Category: Crossover/Adventure
Rating: PG-14
Spoilers: None
Keywords: Highlander/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Xena-Warrior Princess/Dusk to Dawn.
Summary: This particular story depicts a Wandererverse story featuring the Wolfshead Security Services in action.
Highlander: All rights and properties are owned by Rysher Entertainment.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: All rights and properties are owned by Joss Whedon, Fox Studios and Mutant Enemy, etc.
The Legendary Adventures of Hercules/Xena-Warrior Princess: All rights and properties are owned by Renaissance and Flat Earth Productions.
Any characters, whose names and descriptions are used, are the property of their original owners, and no copyright infringement is intended or meant.
No money can be made from this story. It may be distributed freely so long as it is kept in its entirety, with
all notices and copyright information remaining intact.
The character of Shaw Hunter belongs to Tim Knight.
The characters of Robin Goodfellow
and Liam belong to Mike Weyer.
The Wandererverse is the creation of Steve Pantovich.
Comments and Criticisms are appreciated; please post to the above referenced E-mail.
Special Thanks to my Beta Readers: Carla Alfano and Tim Knight for being such a good friend and a terrific author.
Author's Notes: Words expressed within < > are thoughts. Amy, Willow, and Cordelia became New Amazons in Steve's Training Blues Series - How
Cordelia Got Her Amazon Groove. Faith is a good kid and lives in Joyce Summer's home (a/k/a 'Slayer House' with Buffy, Kendra, Joyce and Dawn).
Seth Gecko is the older brother from the movie "Dusk to Dawn". In this universe he became a rogue
vampire hunter after the events in that film. Later he was taken by Section One as material and sent to Section Seven for rehabilitation. He found a new
purpose in life after he and Faith fell in love with each other earlier in the year.
Cybertronics Building, Wolfshead Security Services Offices
Sunnydale, California
December 27, 2000 - 1430 PST
"You want me to WHAT?" Cordelia's shriek resounded through the Wolfshead Security Services' offices.
"You want her to WHAT?" Xander shrieked in an even higher pitch than his lover.
"Strip, ye know, do the hurly burly, shake yer bon-bons," Liam said. He was showing a little too much enthusiasm to suit Xander's tastes. Meanwhile, Robin fought hard to repress a smirk.
"Okay, did I miss something, like how the Hell I suddenly went from being an Amazon Warrior Princess into a Saved-by-the-Bell-Dropout-Showgirls-Skank while I wasn't looking?" Cordy demanded.
"If you don't want to do it, Cordy, I'd understand," Seth Gecko said. "It's just that we've been working on this case for weeks and we've got nothing."
She snarled. "Look, bucko...I'm all for your redemption jag, but don't drag me along with you." Cordy buried her face in her hands. Why the Hell did she have to pick today of all days to leave school early to look in on Xander? Xander and Seth were holding down the fort at the agency since Steve and Buffy had taken all of Section Seven's Immortals away on another 'save the world' mission. This case had driven the two men nuts shortly after they had opened the detective agency with Steve. After they had opened the office, a girl who only let them call her Summer came looking for help. Though she was only seventeen if she was a day old, she told them she was working at The Pussycat Palace, a strip club in the seediest part of town, and for Sunnydale, that's saying a lot. Girls had disappeared from the club left and right without so much as a peep. The police seemed to care even less than the owner, who just kept replacing the dancers with girls fresh off the bus. After Wolfshead had been working on the case for a week, Summer had dropped off the face of the earth.
Seth was roguishly handsome and had been the eminently more sane member of a sibling team of bank robbers five years ago. They had run afoul of an ancient vampire cult in Mexico that killed his brother. He had taken on vampire hunting as his personal cause and said he had added this case to his life's mission. "It's my duty to make the world safe for nubile young babes to take off their clothes whenever they please," he had proclaimed. Faith, the Slayer who had given him the best reason in life to reform and had stolen his heart, smirked, jabbed him hard in his left arm, and drawled, "Yeah, I'd bet that you're a natural for the job, you cradle-robbin' perv!"
"The cops don't care," Seth's voice ended Cordelia's foray down memory lane. "The owner isn't cooperating and the girls won't talk to us."
"Maybe that's because Liam keeps up twenty minute conversations with their breasts," Cordy offered.
"Look, Cordelia, you've never been in the club before, so nobody would recognize ye if ye went in undercover. Ye could get information we couldn't. The girls would talk to you."
"I can't, Liam."
"She's right, she CAN'T," Xander said emphatically.
Seth leaned back in his swivel chair and narrowed his eyes as he inspected her. "Yeah...you're right," he purred. "I mean, what was I thinking? You couldn't possibly pass for a stripper."
"Damn straight," Cordy replied with a nod. After a few moments, her head cocked to one side. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Robin caught on. "Well, let's face facts, Cordelia...you don't really have the body for it. And to top it off, sweetie, we've all seen you dance at the Bronze."
"WHAT?!" Cordy demanded. She stood up, whipped off her cardigan, and revealed the skimpy tank top she wore underneath. "You're telling me you wouldn't pay to see these?"
Liam and Robin started rummaging through their pockets. Oz and Seth shrugged.
"Well, I don't know..." Oz said simply.
"You know what?" Cordy snapped. "I AM going to audition for the job just to prove to you that ANY man would be overwhelmed with unbridled joy just to see me naked. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go out and buy some pasties."
As the Amazon beauty stormed out the entrance to the agency, Xander glared menacingly at the other men in the room. "Well, I just can't thank you assholes enough," Xander snapped. "Remind me to go home and demand to see all of your girlfriends naked, okay?"
Several hours later, Xander, Robin, Liam and Oz strolled into Steven St. Wolf's kitchen. The girls were cooking dinner for the gang and Brian. Clearly they were in a great collective mood. Cordelia was keeping Amy from messing with the pot roast so it could remain edible. Willow was tossing a salad together. Faith sat in Seth's lap at the kitchen table, "helping" him chop vegetables. Shaw was sharpening the kitchen knives and discussing her day with Brian.
"Hello, love," Robin kissed Amy on the cheek. "Are we celebrating something?"
"Absolutely," Amy grinned. "Cordelia got a job today."
"Wow...way to go, Cordy," Oz said, snuggling closer to Willow. He popped a baby carrot into his mouth. "You showed us."
"Yeah...and everybody else," Xander muttered.
"We all got jobs today," Willow said brightly. Oz started to choke and coughed up bits of carrot. Xander burst into gales of laughter.
"What are you talking about? You already have jobs!" Robin screeched. "Defending humanity from evil, remember? Keeping the Apocalypse at bay? Duty, honor, destiny and all that?"
"Well, things have been slow on the Hellmouth lately, especially with VAN being here and all, so we thought we'd lend a hand," Amy said.
"Ye realize what Cordy will be doing, don't ye?" Liam prodded, a bit of panic bleeding into his voice.
"Gecko, you're not going to let Faith do this, are you?" Robin asked.
"Hey, god-faery-dude, why don't you get off my case?! You know good and well no one 'lets' Faith do anything."
"Well, I forbid it!" Robin howled. "Amy, I forbid you to dance at that club."
"Oh, honey, you forbid me...that's so funny." Amy laughed. "Well, it's a good thing I won't be dancing, isn't it? Shaw and I'll be tending bar so we can snake information out of the 'customers.' Willow, Faith, and Cordy will dance. They'll try to pump the girls for information."
"Oh, thank God." Robin uttered with a grin.
"I see..." the witch said in a dangerous tone of voice, "it's okay to send Cordy to dance at a strip club," Amy rolled her eyes. "But when it comes to your woman doing it, it's unacceptable? Now, I'm seriously considering gluing on some pasties myself."
"Arrrgh," Robin groaned.
"Will, are you sure about this," Oz said.
"You'd rather Cordy go into that place alone?" Willow asked.
"But why can't Amy dance and you tend bar?"
"Well, it turns out Amy's butt is too small," Willow noted with a shrug. "Vic, the owner, was afraid the guys wouldn't pay a lot of money to see her body.
Amy shrugged. "My English heritage has its drawbacks."
"Well, he was a total idiot, love," Robin said soothingly. "Not that I want any drunken louts to see...anything."
"Besides, Vic really wants me to play up my innocent schoolgirl look," Willow said. "Catholic high school uniform, pigtails, bobby socks, the whole bit."
Oz 'eeped' and started to rock back and forth in his chair. "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change."
"So?" Cordelia asked. "Dinner's ready. Who's hungry?"
"Don't change, don't change, don't change..."
"I'm starved," Xander announced. "So, I guess I won't have to demand to see your girlfriend naked, hey Oz?"
"Don'tchangedon'tchangedon'tchange..."
The next two days were pretty rough. While Cordy, Willow, and Faith perfected their routines, Shaw and Amy tended bar at night and slept during the day. Hellmouth patrol duties were handled by Kendra, Larry, Joe, and Charlie. The witch and the priestess were able to gather plenty of information about the women who had disappeared. Unfortunately the information didn't amount to a hill of beans. The missing girls came from different parts of the country, the scant information they found on their histories told them they all had very different backgrounds. They were blond, brunette, and redhead. There were no common threads. It was frustrating.
Seth went with them every night to watch over them. And he would continue to keep an eye, literally, on Cordy, Faith, and Willow while they danced. Oz and Xander weren't allowed in the club for two reasons. One, the owner, Vic, didn't like all the questions they had been asking. And two, Willow and Cordy had forbidden it. However, Faith didn't mind Seth being there, mostly because she liked that he was there to watch her dance.
To make things worse, a small battle of the sexes was declared in the kitchen that night.
Xander had freaked out when he saw Cordy's costume and tried to stop her from dancing, which had him very lonely in bed for the next few nights because Cordelia moved into Steve's home.
Amy and Robin were still arguing over whether Amy could audition. She really didn't want to, but she wanted it to be clear to him that he wasn't the boss of her. Amy moved into Steve's house with Cordy.
Oz begged and begged Willow not to dance until he got frustrated and demanded that she not dance, which just pissed her off. When he tried to get into bed with her that night, she got up and packed a bag. "Oz," Willow said, kissing his cheek. "I'm leaving. Now wish me luck or wish me a broken leg. Good luck means bad luck to entertainers, I think."
"Good luck then," he grumbled.
When she left, she bunked with Amy and Cordy in the house, temporarily christened as 'Estrogen Central.'
Shaw and Liam had gotten into a fight over whether he was being a little too excited about Cordy's dancing, so she quickly moved in with the three Amazons.
The only exceptions were Faith and Brian. She was happy with Seth, so she hung out with him at the club, had breakfast with him after work, then went home to Slayer House to sleep. Actually, she thought the other girls were suckers to forgo quality 'horizontal mambo time' with their men to prove a point. Poor Brian wanted to be ejected from Estrogen Central, but the girls kept him there and made him their surrogate boy-toy, treating him like their very own kid brother.
Brian finally knew what Hell was truly like.
"Amy? How do I make a Tom Collins?" Shaw asked. She adjusted her uniform's skimpy black tank top again.
"How should I know?"
"This is extremely unfortunate," Shaw said. "I KNEW I should have paid more attention to that Coyote Ugly movie."
"Trust me, 'Shirley,'" Amy shouted Shaw's alias over the loud grinding music. She gestured to the balding computer salesman. "That guy's so smashed he wouldn't notice if you put Liquid Plumber in front of him. If he complains, flash him a little cleavage.""I do not think there is any more I could show short of being naked," Shaw said looking down.
"I'll take care of it," Amy said with a laugh. "Why don't you go backstage and check on Willow and Cordy? They've got to be basket cases by now."
"What about Faith?"
Amy stared dumbly at Shaw. "I don't think I'd associate the word 'nervous' with her about something like this. 'In her element" somehow comes to mind."
Shaw shrugged sheepishly and muttered, "You have a point. I do not know what I was thinking." Then she ducked under the crossbar and headed backstage.
"Hello, sexy," Robin's smooth, familiar voice washed over her. Amy turned, a frosty expression on her face.
"Yes, sir, how may I help you?" she asked, her voice crisp and cold.
"I was hoping for a little time with the bartender...and a beer, tis all," he said with a grin.
"Why, sir, that would only cost you four bucks and Hell freezing over." She smiled sweetly. "Besides, aren't you involved with someone already?"
"To a hell of a woman," Robin said with a nod. "A real spitfire. A wildcat in bed. Skin like satin. Breasts that would put these silicone cones to shame. And her mouth, you wouldn't believe what she does with her mouth, auugh...but she left me."
"Can't imagine why," Amy deadpanned.
"Amy, come on, just talk to me," he whined. "I miss you, Snookums."
"First, I'm undercover, so you don't know me. Second, my name is 'Laverne' and we agreed no one would ever hear you call me 'Snookums.' Third, there's a bouncer right over there, sir, who would be more than willing to escort you to the door and kick your ass," she said, nodding toward Lionel, the barrel-chested bouncer. Lionel glanced up, stood, and nodded at Amy.
"I'll be in the back," Robin said, dejected.
Carla, a friendly brunette cocktail waitress, laid her tray on the bar and asked for two beers and a whiskey sour. "How's it going?"
"Great," Amy chirped with a grin. "I think I'm getting better at this."
"That little guy hassling you?" Carla asked.
"No," Amy laughed. "Just a jerk who greatly overestimates his charms."
"Well, if he gets on your nerves, let Lionel know."
"Is there anybody else I should keep an eye out for?" Amy asked. "I think that bald guy at table seven pinched my ass."
"Paul?" Carla giggled. "He's a little grabby, but harmless. But see that guy in the back corner there?"
Amy peered over her shoulder discreetly. "Midforties. Worships the tanning bed. Dresses like Huggy Bear ala 'Starsky and Hutch.' Looks like he's wearing a dead cat on his head?"
"That's the one," Carla said. "His name's Ralph. You and Shirley are new, so if he hasn't already, he will inevitably ask you out. And he won't take 'no' for an answer. More than likely he'll wait by your car when you get off work. So ask Lionel to walk you out. He's used to it."
"What happens to the girls that say yes?" Amy asked, trying to sound like she was joking.
"I don't know, no one's ever said yes," Carla noted with a shrug.
"The girls that left so quick, did he ask them out, too?"
"Well, sure."
"Has he asked you out?"
"No, I'm Vic's cousin and Ralph's afraid of him. So I'm safe." Carla then eyed her suspiciously. "What's with all the questions? You an undercover reporter or somethin'?"
"Just getting the lay of the land," Amy drawled, laughing it off. "Don't mind me, I'm just incredibly nosy. I love getting into other people's business."
"How are you, Cordelia?" Shaw asked. She watched as Cordy adjusted her long blond wig. She was worried someone would recognize her, so she disguised herself with the blond hair that she tucked up inside a black fedora.
"How do I look?" She wore a white shirt, a red tie, navy blue pinstriped jacket and very short blue skirt. And the fedora.
"Very Demi Moore," Faith drawled from the other side of the cramped dressing room.
"Watch it, CSB," Cordy snapped. She grimaced and feathered a little more sparkle dust across her cheekbones.
"You sure you're up for this, Ball Breaker?" Faith asked gently as she checked the fit of her arrest-me red, string bikini that she had worn for the VAN calendar layout. "You know you don't have to do this. You could still back out."
"And listen to Xander gloat? Not on your life, Faith," Queen C said and laughed.
"So you're going to go out in front of a hundred strangers and let them ogle your goodies just to prove X-man wrong?"
"I think it'll get my point across," Cordelia noted as she adjusted her hat again. Then her eyes widened and she turned a little paler. "Did you say...a hundred?"
"What do you think?" Willow stepped out of her quick-change cubicle. She wore a white oxford shirt with a plaid skirt, bobby socks and black patent leather Mary Janes.
"Creepily adorable," Cordy remarked with a grin.
"Y'all ready for your big debut?" Tiffany Storm, a buxom blond stripper who was as friendly as she was voluptuous, pranced into the room. Shaw averted her eyes, even though she had seen Tiffany dancing onstage just minutes before. She would never get used to having bare breasts just out there for all the world to see.
"Um, we're a little nervous," Cordy admitted.
"Hey!" Faith snapped, "speak for yourself there, Lana. This hottie," she exclaimed as she thrust a thumb in her own direction, "can't wait to strut her stuff!"
"Aw, honey, despite what little Miss Firecracker there says, we're all a little nervous the first time. But hell, I saw you rehearsing and trust me you got something. You're sophisticated and outta reach. Outta their league- men love that. The big goofs."
Willow giggled at that. Tiffany turned her expert eye on her. "And you, if you were any sweeter you'd give me a toothache. They're gonna love that schoolgirl getup."
"Thanks," Willow whispered and smiled nervously.
"Don't sweat it, Red," Faith drawled. "Those boys out there won't even know what hit 'em after they've seen us."
Tiffany glanced her way and smiled knowingly. "With your attitude and a pair like those on a girl your size, they'll really pay through the nose, honey."
Faith responded with a wicked smile. "Hey, like I always say...if you got 'em, flaunt 'em!"
Cordy's ears perked up as Tommy, the emcee, announced over the PA. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you tonight, three, count them, three lovely ladies in their Palace debut. First up, her first time in California from New York, New York, the luxurious, the luscious Lana Lane."
"Ohmigod, I think I'm gonna hurl," Cordy muttered.
"Well, as they say, break a leg, LANA. All three of you," Shaw said, hugging her friends. "Signal me if there is a problem."
Tiffany eyed Shaw curiously. "Honey, you sure are a weird one. But don't you fret none. That's why we have Lionel, he takes care of our problem customers."
"Well, Shirley likes to look after us. She works out a lot," Willow noted with a shrug.
"Pssst, Amy."
Amy turned. She could swear she heard her name. She poured another beer.
"Pssst. Amy."
Amy turned to see two guys standing at the end of the bar, both dressed in black, with the collars of their jackets flipped up. They both wore big black sunglasses and baseball caps pulled over their heads. Amy examined them closely. Then she rolled her eyes at Xander and Oz in their version of incognito.
She walked over to them. "Very inconspicuous, you two. You don't look like two guys trying to hide. Nu-uh. No way."
"Did we miss them?" Oz asked. Amy had to suppress a laugh. He looked so funny, his face a mask of comical desperation.
"Nope, Lana's about to go on," Amy nodded to the stage.
"Lana?" Xander asked.
"Yo' honey," Amy grinned. "Can I get you a drink?"
"A big one," Xander nodded. "The kind without the umbrella."
"Why don't I give you this; it's a man's drink," Amy said as she poured him a shot of tequila.
The stage lights went out.
Amy could barely discern Cordy's shape leaning against the pole. Trumpets blared as the opening bars of Tom Jones' "Leave Your Hat On," wailed through the club. Cordy grabbed the pole and swung around. As Tom grunted "HUH," the spotlight came on.
"Ohmigod, I think I'm gonna hurl," a grimacing Xander muttered.
The dark Amazon struck an arrogant pose as she leaped away from the pole and stood with her long, luscious legs taut and shoulder-width apart. The crowd whistled and clapped. She grinned, knowing she had them in the palm of her hands.
BABY TAKE OFF YOUR COAT,
Tom sang as Queen C slid out of her jacket and tossed it on the stage. Faith whistled through her fingers.
REEAL SLLOOOW
Cordy bumped and ground her sexy hips as she unzipped her skirt. The men sitting close to the stage clamored for her, holding bills out for her inspection. <I'm SO not going over there until at least they flash a ten dollar bill,> Cordy mused.
Xander covered his eyes. "Oh. My. God."
"Hey, man," Oz said, "she's not even showing anything yet."
"She's showing enough," Xander sobbed. Usually seeing Cordy naked was a joy, the highlight of his day. Now he just wanted to throw a blanket over her and drag her off the stage, kicking and screaming.
Soon Cordy's tie disappeared into the crowd, where a couple of frat guys fought over it. She experienced this weird surge of power flow through her. She had everyone's attention, the whole crowd was under her thrall. Even those weird-looking guys by the bar.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON
She grinned and took her hat off. Her fake blond hair spilled over her shoulders. The crowd cheered.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON
She placed the hat back on top of her head, then ripped her shirt open, spraying buttons in all directions as the trumpets blared. The crowd clearly appreciated her stunning black sequined bra and panties, tens and twenties were being waved her way.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON
Her shirt joined the jacket at the back of the stage. She wrapped a leg around the pole and spun around it. She dipped low and rubbed her body against its chrome length in a totally suggestive manner.Xander gasped. "Where'd she learn how to do that?"
Cordy strutted her way over to the guys waving big bills and let them tuck them into her g-string. Suddenly, she turned her back to the crowd. Xander watched as her hand, as if in slow motion, reached for the hooks of her bra. He winced, knowing what came next. All the men, including the employees, leaned forward, anticipating her next move.
"I don't think I can watch," Oz said, covering his eyes with his hands.
"I can see you peeking through your fingers, you know!" Xander accused.
The bra flew off. Cordelia turned, covering her breasts with her hands. Xander sighed with relief. She couldn't go through with it. Then her hands flew up and to her sides, baring her beautiful, perfectly-shaped, pomegranate-sized breasts along with her large, pink, erect nipples to the entire room. The crowd went wild. Cordy flashed a very sexy, triumphant grin.
Oz's jaw dropped. Xander grimaced.
"You're catching flies, Wolfboy," Xander said.
Amy tried to avoid looking at the stage. She loved her friends, but she didn't want to see them naked. She looked back at Robin (If he's looking at Cordy's breasts, I'll fix it so he goes a decade without sex. I'm a witch, I can do that.) His eyes were faithfully trained on Amy. He gave her a knowing wink. (I only have eyes for you, Snookums.) Amy rolled her eyes. (Why couldn't he just let me be mad at him? Why does he have to be so damned cute?)
Cordy's song came to its dramatic conclusion. She had a plumage of bills sticking out of her g-string and a fan of bills covering her breasts.
"WAY TO GO, LANA!" Amy crowed.
"Seriously, Oz, close your mouth!" Xander whined.
"Thank you, Lana," the announcer boomed. "And welcome to the Pussycat Palace family. Wasn't she fantastic, folks?"
The audience applauded wildly. Cordy ran backstage. Willow hugged her fiercely.
"You were so great!" she gushed.
"Thanks," Cordy murmured. "But, um, let go of me. I'm sort of naked."
"Oh." The little red witch released her friend. "Sorry." Willow grinned. "Wish me luck."
"Good luck," Cordy whispered. She rushed back to the dressing room and threw on her robe.
"How'd it feel?" Tiffany asked, her eyes twinkling knowingly.
"Well... at first it was scary and awkward, but then the crowd started cheering and I had all these men in the palm of my hand... it was sort of a rush," Cordy admitted as she pulled on a black minidress.
"Isn't it?" Tiffany said. "Hold on to that feelin', honey. It's not like that for long, but the money's good and Vic's not bad as far as bosses go. This is a pretty nice place to work."
"If it's such a good place to work, why are there so many jobs open?" Cordy asked, trying to sound as clueless as possible.
"Girls in this business move around a lot," Tiffany noted with a shrug.
"Tracy said a lot of girls have moved without telling anybody," Cordy said.
"Sometimes it happens," Tiffany said. "Hey, why you gettin' so down, sweetie? It's your big night, let me buy you a drink."
Cordy grinned. Tommy returned to the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, the Pussycat Palace is proud to present in her stage debut, she's sweet, she's sassy, from Regis Academy in the nice part of town comes our very own Mary Margaret Rose!"
"Let's get out there and catch the show," Cordy grabbed Tiffany's wrist and dragged her to the bar.
"Mary Margaret Rose?" Shaw shot Amy a questioning look.
"You've got to admit, as far as alter egos go, no one would peg our Willow as a Catholic High Schoolgirl in trouble," Amy whispered.
Willow sashayed to the front of the stage as the opening rifts of J. Geils Band's "My Angel is a Centerfold" played over the speakers.
"Oh, dear god," Oz winced. (What in the Hell was Willow wearing? Why was she smiling like that? Where did she get those shoes?) "I think I need some air."
"No you don't," Xander deadpanned.
NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH
NAH-NAH-NAH-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAH
Willow dipped and wriggled her hips. She wriggled out of her blue blazer and tossed it over the head of a pudgy balding man in the front row. He smiled gratefully and handed her a ten. She whipped off her clip-on tie and tossed it into the crowd. She turned and flounced her skirt, giving the crowd a flash of her barely covered behind. They hooted and hollered. Amy and Shaw exchanged shocked looks.
"I'm just glad Liam is not here," Shaw said. "He might stammer so much he would never be able to become unstuck again."
"THAT'S why you're glad he's not here?" Amy raised her eyebrow. "Your gorgeous naked friends aren't an issue?"
Willow coyly played with the sleeves of her blouse, lowering one and then pulling it up. Then lowering the other. Finally she ripped at the Velcro that held the specially designed shirt together and threw the blouse off to the side.
MY BLOOD RUNS COLD, MY FANTASY HAS JUST BEEN SOLD
MY ANGEL IS A CENTERFOLD, MY ANGEL IS A CENTERFOLD
Willow's bright green bra glittered in the stage lights. She felt more and more confident. She teased and tempted the men in the crowd, keeping them guessing when she was going to take off the top. When her g-string was fringed with bills, she whipped off her Miracle Bra and tossed it aside.
It was taking every ounce of his self-control to keep Oz from beating down the gaggle of men crowded around the stage and ripping their throats out. He hated that they were allowed to see her small perfect body. Then she turned and he saw the glorious smile she sent his way. Then he knew that she was his no matter who saw her. The guys in the crowd couldn't touch her. She was his.
"The naughty, but nice Mary Margaret Rose!" Tommy boomed. "Isn't she sweet, folks?"
Willow waved from the stage and exited.
"Oh, geez, I see Cordy," Xander said.
"Dude, we've all seen Cordy," Oz said, rolling his eyes.
"I mean, I see Cordy coming this way!"
"ACCK!" Oz ducked and dragged Xander to the main exit. Robin grinned as they flashed past him.
Cordy and Tiffany sat at the bar.
"I'll have a Jack and Coke, and whatever Lana wants," Tiffany said.
"Got any champagne?" Cordy asked.
Amy glared at her.
Cordy sighed. "Give me a frickin' beer," she said flatly.
Then Tommy spoke again. "And now, direct from Beantown itself, let's hear it for this East Coast gal who knows how to keep a guy...or a girl, in a pinch, really warm at night...the Palace is proud to present…Shaw Madison!"
Both Amy's and Shaw's eyebrows nearly flew to the roof as Faith strutted onto the stage dressed in shiny, skintight-leather-biker-babe clothes to the opening guitar licks of Melissa Etheridge's "I'm the Only One."
Amy stared at her cousin. "Shaw-"
"Madison?!?" the half elf finished the question for her relative. Then both women turned toward the stage with death rays streaming out of both of their eyes.
"I am going to kill her."
"The line forms behind me," Amy said with deadly intent.
PLEASE, BABY, CAN'T YOU SEE
MY MIND'S A BURNING HELL
I GOT RAZORS A RIPPIN' AND TEARIN' AND STRIPPIN'…
The Slayer started to bump and grind as her hips gyrated to the music. Unlike the other girls, she had on ankle boots rather than pumps, so she moved gracefully across the dance floor. Then Faith tore off her jacket, exposing her beautiful breasts to the room and allowing them to jiggle against the woefully inadequate confinement of her string bikini top.
TONIGHT YOU TOLD ME
THAT YOU ACHE FOR SOMETHING NEW
AND SOME OTHER WOMAN IS LOOKIN’ LIKE SOMETHING
THAT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR YOU
Now she began to feign that she was too hot. She bent over, grabbed the side of her tight pants, and ripped the tear-away garment, leaving her long and taut legs bare from the top of her boots to the high cut, red bikini bottoms covering her nether regions. There was an audible gasp throughout the room as she then leaped from the floor to the pole a good five feet from where she had been standing. Faith wrapped her legs around the pole and leaned away from it as she used her incredible strength to twirl her body around the fixture.
As the cousins continued to watch the performance, they noticed that Seth had a front row seat and was hooting and hollering. "Yeah, baby, yeah!" or "Jesus Christ, honey, you're killing me!" along with, "Come to daddy, sugar! I got somethin' for ya!" as he held a hundred dollar bill aloft in his hand.
When she spied the large bill waiting for her, she released the pole and allowed her centrifugal force to fling her toward his portion of the stage. She somersaulted and landed in a split with the V that culminated at her crotch a mere yard away from his trembling hands.
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL WALK ACROSS THE FIRE FOR YOU
I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL DROWN IN MY DESIRE FOR YOU
Faith leaned her torso toward him as she reached behind her back to undo her top. She whispered something in his ear as he slipped the bill into her bikini bottom. Just as the money slid home, her top tumbled to the floor and her beautiful breasts with their thumb-sized nipples sprang forward, trapping his five o'clock shadowed face between them. When Shaw was finally able to tear herself away from watching the scene, she glimpsed around the room and witnessed all the men and several of the women who dreamed of gladly trading places with Seth at that moment.
After ten seconds or so, the Slayer did a handstand and used her strength to vault back onto her feet to continue her dance. She strutted around the stage, allowing others to slip large denomination bills into her bikini bottom in return for a close inspection of her incredible breasts. Then as the song neared its close, Faith finally lost herself to the music, as she whirled and gyrated to the growling voice of Melissa.
IT'S ONLY FEAR THAT MAKES YOU RUN
THE DEMONS THAT YOU'RE HIDING FROM
WHEN ALL YOUR PROMISES ARE GONE
I'M THE ONLY ONE
YEAH...YEAH!
IT'S ONLY FEAR THAT MAKES YOU RUN
THE DEMONS THAT YOU'RE HIDING FROM
WHEN ALL YOUR PROMISES ARE GONE
I'M THE ONLY ONE
As Melissa Etheridge's throaty voice eased to a halt, only Shaw Hunter's sensitive hearing detected Seth Gecko's whisper just before the thunderous applause for the Slayer's performance rang out.
"God, you must’ve been crazy to give this beautiful angel to me."
Late into the morning, after the customers had cleared out, Cordy, Amy, Willow, Faith, Shaw, Carla, Tiffany and a
couple of the other dancers were sitting at the bar, commiserating.
"My feeeet," Cordy whined.
"Just soak 'em in Epson salts when you get home, honey," said Wendy, a redhead whose gimmick was her pet bird, Napoleon Bonaparrot, who told dirty jokes while she danced. "And next time put Band-Aids over your heels, ya tinhorn."
Cordy smiled.
"How was your first haul, little Rose?" Tiffany asked.
"Five hundred twenty-eight dollars," Willow said proudly.
"Not bad," Tiffany grinned. "I told you that schoolgirl get-up would work."
"That you did," Willow agreed with a nod.
"Wait a minute," Amy said. "I spend ten hours watering down drinks and getting my ass pinched for a measly five-fifty an hour plus tips; you dance two sets and you get more than five hundred dollars?"
"I was naked," Willow said.
Amy nodded. "Point taken. Well, I'm beat. I'd better go. Shirley, can I give you a ride home?"
"Of course," Shaw said.
"Lana," the other "Shaw," and "Rose" took their leave, too.
"Goodnight," Carla said. "Lionel, will you walk them out?"
"Sure thing," Lionel put down the book he was reading. He stood. Amy couldn't help but marvel, he was one huge guy. Big enough to do a girl some serious damage if he wanted. Amy wondered, could he be the one hurting the dancers? Then she saw the book he was reading- "Sense and Sensibility."
"Okay...scratch one suspect," she noted with a shrug.
A couple of days into their assignment, another girl disappeared from the club- Jasmine, an exotic dark-haired beauty who wore only green. Amy and Shaw hadn't seen her with any of the customers. Jasmine kept mostly to herself, she barely talked to the other girls. Willow, Cordy, Amy, Shaw, and Faith were starting to get frustrated.
Amy returned to the dressing room to check on Cordy and Willow. When she walked in, Cordy was sprawled out on the floor. Tiffany and Willow were trying to help her up.
"Cor-Lana, what happened?" Amy asked.
"My ankle! Stupid platform shoes...I tripped and twisted my ankle," Cordy groaned.
"You need some ice?" Amy asked.
"Carla's getting some," Willow said.
"I take it you can't go on?" Amy asked.
Cordy shook her head.
"I'll go on for her," Willow offered.
Tiffany and Carla shook their heads. "The Pussycat Palace guarantees at least twelve different girls every night or the customers get a free drink. Vic will take the cost out of our pay," Carla said, putting the ice pack around Cordy's ankle.
"Can't we call one of the other girls?" Willow asked.
"Every girl we have is working tonight," Tiffany said. "With Jasmine gone, we only have ten."
Carla's eyes began roving Amy's body.
"What?" Amy asked. "What are you looking at?"
"You know," Carla said, "With her hair up, a little lipstick..."
"She's got a decent body," Tiffany noted.
"Why, thank you," Amy chirped. Then she gasped. "Wait a minute. Don't even think about it. I didn't even audition for the dancing jobs. I don't know the music or any steps. No, no way. Uh-uh. Get that look off your face, Lana...Lana?"
"Where's the little woman?" Robin asked. Shaw shrugged and slid a beer bottle his way.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the Pussycat Palace's newest addition, Laverne!"
Robin choked on his drink. "Bloody hell!"
"The 'little woman' is performing onstage," Shaw confirmed with a nod in Amy's direction.
He turned, his jaw swinging open. Amy leaned against the pole onstage looking quite nervous. Her hair was piled high on her head, she wore more make-up than normal. She looked almost glamorous. She wore a tiny red dress that barely covered her rear-end.
Robin was not a happy camper.
"What the hell does she think she's doing?" Robin hissed. Anger boiled through his blood.
<What the hell do I think I'm doing? Amy wondered. I don't even know what song Cordy was supposed to dance to. How will I know how to act?>
Suddenly, the music blasted over the sound system. Amy groaned inwardly as she recognized the tune. It was "Caligula" from the Macy Gray CD Cordy was always listening to. It just happened to have the dirtiest lyrics of any song on the album. She straightened her shoulders and struck a confident pose.
HUSH, THE NEIGHBORS HEAR YOU
MOANIN' AND GROANIN'
I JUST CAN'T HELP IT
'SPECIALLY WHEN WE BE BONIN'
'I CAN TAKE YOUR FEARS AWAY,'
HE SAID. 'IT'S SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU DO IT MY WAY.'
Amy shook her head as the crowd let the lyrics soak in. "That Bitch!" she cursed under her breath. She made a mental note to hurt Cordy, very, very badly. Or at least melt all of her CD's. Robin's livid face shone from the bar. Uh-oh. Maybe she would be the one who'd go a decade without sex.
Backstage, Tiffany drew the curtain leading to the dressing room. She propped Cordy's ankle up with some pillows. Willow had gone out to keep an eye on Amy and Carla had taken Amy's place behind the bar.
"It's too bad about your ankle, Lana. This could mean the end of your dancing career," Tiffany said.
"It's just a twisted ankle. I don't think it's that serious." <Besides, Artemis could heal it in no time the next time I see her.>
Tiffany leaned way too close for Cordy's comfort. "Still, I don't think you'll be able to make it to work tomorrow."
"Tiffany...what's your deal?" Cordy asked nervously.
"So pretty, such a pretty girl. A natural beauty," Tiffany stroked Cordy's arm. Cordy started to wig. "I'm sorry, Lana, but I need that natural beauty to keep me going. Sacrifices must be made. But you understand, don't you? A girl has to do what she can to stay pretty." Then Tiffany's lips parted, her jaw stretched until it touched her considerable bosom.
Cordy took a deep breath and tried to scream but when she opened her mouth a blue fog began rolling from her lips. Tiffany inhaled it deeply, rows of teeth grinning within her maw. Cordy thrashed and fought, but was helpless in Tiffany's clutches.
"Willow, what the hell is 'Laverne' doing onstage?" Faith's voice preceded her as she entered the dressing room. "Robin's nearly blown a gaske—WHAT THE FU-?"
Faith never finished her curse. She poured on Slayer speed, snatched a pole from the costume racks, and smacked demon Tiffany with it. Cordy rolled away, gasping as her soul poured its way back into her body via her mouth. Tiffany morphed into something hideous, covered in green scales with frothy strings of drool dripping from her rows of fangs.
"Eeeughh," Faith groaned and shuddered. "You're a succubus, aren't you?"
Demon Tiffany nodded and grinned wickedly.
"I thought you only sucked out men's souls when you boink 'em," Faith said.
"Yes," Tiffany hissed. "But once a century I need the souls of twelve young and beautiful women to preserve my human form."
"Eeewww!" Cordy squealed. "That's what happened to all those girls? You drained them of their souls?"
"It's a good thing I don't have to rely on you for smarts, too," Tiffany noted with a smirk.
"Hey! That's SO harsh! Sucking my soul is one thing, but there's no reason to be such a bitch about it."
"Woo-hoo…ladies? Still in the room here!" an annoyed Faith announced. "If you don’t mind, I'd like to get back to the Slayage."
"Sorry," a demure Cordy murmured.
"Right," Tiffany threw up her claws. She punched Faith, sending her flying back into the feathery costumes. Faith recovered quickly and pulled out what she thought was a stake.
Instead, it was a black plastic hairbrush.
Tiffany hesitated and simply stared at the Slayer. With an embarrassed chuckle, Faith tossed it aside and smacked Tiffany upside the head with a chair. Tiffany reeled while Faith grabbed for her duster from the rack. She searched desperately for the sword she kept sewn in the lining.
Tiffany then launched a vicious kick in the Dark Slayer's face, stunning Faith. Cordy lunged for the sword while Tiffany continued playing Slayer-hackey-sack. Then the Dark Amazon snuck up behind the monster and ZING, sliced her head off. Tiffany's lifeless form fell to the floor and melted into lime-green goo.
"EEEWWWWW." Cordy shuddered. "That's why I leave dismemberment to the Slayers and Oz."
Faith, mimicking an old-style radio announcer said, "Once again, another evildoer is thwarted by the good guys by, well, using you as bait." Then Faith grinned.
Cordy helped the Slayer to her feet, then the pair snuck over to the stage to make sure the crowd hadn't noticed the ruckus. Every guy in the place was transfixed by Amy's writhing form. Faith laughed. Amy was obviously getting the hang of it. She had a leg wrapped around the pole and was using her Amazon training to pull off a contortionist's backbend. Some red-faced insurance salesman was holding out a $5 and she plucked it from his fingers with her teeth. She licked her lips, enjoying the control she had over the audience. Even Robin had drifted up to the first row.
"Should we let her know the gig is up and we can go home?" Cordy asked.
Faith shook her head. "Naaah."
"I can't believe it's over," Willow said as the girls pulled into the driveway of Estrogen Central. They had quietly walked into Vic's office one at a time and quit. He had actually cried when Willow announced she was leaving. He had big plans for Rose.
"Yeah," Cordy said. "I'm actually going to miss the girls."
"Except for the one that tried to scarf your soul," Faith noted.
"Well, yeah, but the rest of them were great." Cordy grinned. "Didn't you think so, Amy?"
"Hmmmph," Amy's arms were crossed and she stared out the window of the car, her expression sour.
"Oh, Amy." Willow laughed. "Are you still pissed?"
Amy harumphed again.
"She's still pissed," Faith confirmed.
"I can't believe you let me go on dancing after you killed the demon!" Amy whined.
"No one told you to do two encores," Cordy said flatly.
"What's going on here?" Amy asked. Estrogen Central's porch was practically covered in candles. The girls got out of the car. The purple predawn sky was showing streaks of peach and gold. As they approached the porch, Willow could see Harriet playing among the candles.
"Here, kitty!" she cried. "Oh, I've missed you so much!"
Harriet was wearing a card on her collar. "Come home, Willow. We miss you. Oz and Harriet."
"Oh, that's low." Willow giggled. "Low, but effective. I guess I'll be going home to our apartment."
She grabbed Oz's car keys.
"Make him beg, Red," Faith called out.
"Guys, look at this," Amy said. There was a trail of red candles, black candles, yellow candles, and blue candles . At the beginning of the red trail was a card with Cordy's name on it, at the beginning of the blue trail was a card with Amy's name, the yellow had Shaw's name, and the beginning of the black had Faith's. "Are we supposed to..."
"I think so," Faith said, following her candles from the porch.
Amy shrugged, following the blue trail of candles. Cordy grinned and went inside. As the door shut behind her, she heard the stereo click on. The first bars of "You Can Leave Your Hat On" blared from the speakers. Xander appeared at the top of the stairs, in a purple pinstriped zoot suit and fedora. It was a good look for him. He grinned and hopped on the banisters, sliding down to her. He landed in front of her just as Tom Jones yelled "HUH!"
She laughed. "I KNEW that was you and Oz by the bar!"
He kissed her, taking her bag from her and began swiveling his hips.
BABY TAKE OFF YOUR COAT
He pushed her jacket from her shoulders and tossed it aside.
REEEEEAL SLOOOW
BABY TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES
She giggled and dashed to the stairs. He grabbed her ankle (the one that wasn't wrapped in an Ace bandage) and tripped her. He kissed her ankles and slipped off her shoes.
I'LL HELP YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES
She gasped. "Is Brian here?"
"Nope. He's at Joyce's for the whole night."
"Poor boy. I hope he can survive being around Dawn that long." She shoved his jacket from his shoulder and began leading him upstairs by his tie. He undid the zipper of her dress.
BABY TAKE OFF YOUR DRESS.
She ripped off his tie, popping buttons off his shirt as Tom sang.
YES YES YES
"Have you forgiven me yet?" Xander asked.
"Who told you to stop strippin'?" she asked with a sexy grin.
"Oh my goddess, you truly are sorry," Shaw gasped. "You cleaned your apartment?"
"I wanted to make space for ye," Liam said, stroking her cheek. "I thought maybe the reason you thought you weren't a fixture in my life is you don't seem to have a place here. But there are empty drawers for ye in my dresser now, room on my bookshelves for pictures of us and our families. All the food in the fridge that was green and isn't supposed to be, it's gone."
She laughed.
"And best of all," he led her into the bedroom. He had bought a new bed, a queensize with a new goose down comforter. There was a bunch of peach roses lying across one pillow. "Yer own side of the bed."
She cocked her left eyebrow. "Subtle."
"I've given up subtlety, ye've reduced me to groveling," he knelt before her. "Shaw, please come back to me. I love you."
"I love you, too, Liam," she felt wet streaks forming at the corners of her eyes. Tears. She was glad they were tears of joy instead of pain.
"But, how do I know which side of the bed I want?" she asked, kissing him. "I should probably try both."
"Absolutely," he grinned, and with that, she threw him on the bed.
Amy's trail of candles led into Robin's apartment. On the front door there was another card with her name on it. There was another candle and another card at the foot of the stairs. Robin's spidery scrawl covered it. "Amy, you know" another candle and card on the next step. "how hard it" a trail of candles and cards led to their bedroom. Every card held only two or three words. "is for me to" "say I'm sorry." "Well, here I am" "writing it for" "all to see."
She reached the wall at the top of the stairs. In huge letters on poster sized pieces of paper, Robin had written "I WAS WRONG." The next note - "I don't want" "to control you" "I don't want" "to own you" The last card was by the door "I just want." She opened the door, Robin was standing in front of their bed holding a big sign that said. "YOU."
She grinned. He dropped the sign and rushed to wrap his arms around her. He covered her face with kisses. "I love you."
"Love you, too," she said, wiping at her eyes. "And I have to admit I see your point now, dancing was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have done it."
"Oh..." Robin crossed to their stereo and cued up Macy Gray's "Caligula." He grabbed her hand spun her into a rather dirty mambo step.
"I wouldn't say that."
"Robin!" Then she laughed. "You were the guy that stuck the hundred in my top, weren't you?"
"Oz?" Willow called, coming into the apartment. She let Harriet down on the carpet.
"In here, Will," he was in the bedroom. He had filled it with candles and framed sketches of her.
"Oh, honey, this is just sort of sad."
"Willow," he said. "I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I think I know why I got so upset at the idea of other men seeing you dance."
"The nudity?"
"No." He rolled his eyes. "I think there's something lacking in this relationship," he said. "I don't feel like you've claimed me."
"So what are we going to do about it?" she asked.
"Already done it."
She gave him a questioning look. He began unbuttoning his shirt. Willow grinned. She kind of liked this claiming business. He tossed his shirt on the bed and turned. Willow's jaw dropped. On his back, he had a large willow tree in blazing green.
"You and me," he said. "Your mark's on me. Am I forgiven?"
"I don't remember saying I was mad at you," she noted with a shrug.
"Will, you used your witchy powers to fling Xander's bowling ball. It crashed through the wall when it barely missed me."
"Oh...right. Okay, I forgive you."
"All right, you cradle robbin' perv, what gives?" Faith called out as she followed her candle path into Steve's backyard. Seth had set up a little ring of candles and a stereo.
I CAN FEEL THE MAGIC FLOATIN' IN THE AIR
BEING WITH YOU GETS ME THAT WAY
"Hey, you," she murmured and kissed him. "What's up with this?"
I WATCH THE SUNLIGHT DANCE ACROSS YOUR FACE AND I, OH I'VE
NEVER BEEN THIS SWEPT AWAY
"Well, you danced for me; so I wanted to dance with you," he said, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her into a comfortable slow dance. "And I thought it would be nice to see the sun come up together. We see it go down often enough. And that I needed to say I was sorry."
AND I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHE, IT'S WASHING OVER ME
SUDDENLY , I'M MELTING INTO YOU
"For what, baby," she cooed. "You didn't do anything wrong."
CAUGHT UP IN THE TOUCH, THE SLOW AND STEADY RUSH
AND BABY, ISN'T THAT THE WAY THAT LOVE'S SUPPOSED TO BE?
"I'm not sure. Maybe for not being the kind of man worthy of you before I came here to this crazy town. When I look at you and...well...I never liked comic books and superheroes when I was a kid, I was so jaded about everything. Now, look at me...I've gone and fallen for an honest-to-God superhero. When I see what you've been through, the horrors you've faced and still you care about saving everyone else and helping people...it makes me want to be better, to be more like you. I hope I'll get there someday."
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears in the predawn light, as she gazed adoringly at him, finally unable to say a word. He smiled at her, gently stroked the powerful muscles of her back through her jacket, and let her off the hook. "Besides, all the other guys had to grovel, so I was feeling left out. Also, Xander said it'd be better if we were out of the house for a while."
She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, then laughed. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard in his life. "Is that so? Well, then..." she said breathlessly, "let's dance...lover." Then she pulled him close and kissed him deeply.
I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHE
JUST BREATHE...