St. Wolf Residence
Sunnydale, California (the Wandererverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
The two Willows returned to the living room; Vamp Willow slinked over toward her boyfriend, while Willow crept toward the group consisting of Eric, Kory, Beth, and Amy.
As Willow approached, Amy asked, "How’d it go?"
"Okay," Willow said with a thin smile. She took in the group and asked, "What’s up?"
"We’re getting ready to head home," Eric said. At Willow’s wide-eyed glare, he added, "We live in San Francisco, so we’re only an easy Gate spell away. We’ll be back around ten o’clock."
"Do not fret, young witch," Kory promised solemnly, "nothing will happen to your friends while you are off fighting for these others."
Willow nodded. She grinned and said, "Okay, Kory. I just hope you don’t get into any trouble while we’re gone."
Amy snorted, "Hey. . .Will, we’ve got it covered. You guys go kick the Master’s butt. We’ll handle things here for you."
Willow gave her a faux frown. "Be careful what you wish for, Amy. It’s not nice to tempt fate on the Hellmouth."
"Gee, thanks."
"Don’t mention it," Willow said with a grin.
Vamp Willow snuggled into Vamp Xander’s back and started running the palm of her hand up along his rear end, a playful smile tugging at her lips. Vamp Xander jumped, startling Xander, Cordelia and Buffy.
The male vampire turned around and said, "Will, hon, don’t startle people like that."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned in and whispered in his ear. "But it’s so fun!" she purred.
Cordelia sourly asked, "Are you two going to make out right now? Right before a fight?"
"Never stopped you before," Buffy reminded her.
Before Cordelia could voice an argument, Xander murmured, "She does have a point, Cordelia."
"Shut up, Xander," the Amazon snarled.
Before the two could get into one of their infamous bickering matches, Vamp Willow started staring behind Buffy.
"Yummy. . ." she drawled.
The other four turned to see Sonja and Gabrielle approaching. The two Immortals were wearing two-piece outfits that could only be described as chain mail bikinis. They had miniature interlocking links of metal, and left much more exposed than protected. The tops were sleeveless and covered most of their necks, probably to provide protection from decapitations, and went down to cover their chests, ending just below their bust lines. The bottoms were v-shaped, cladding their private parts, perhaps a centimeter or two of both thighs and hips, and light reflected off of the metal, showing that the armor was brand new. Also, they both wore combat boots of a standard military nature. The only additions to their wardrobes were weapons. Sonja carried a hand and a half sword strapped to her back and had an H & K MP5 slung over her shoulder. Gabrielle, on the other hand, had her sais tucked into sheathes sewn into her boots, a longsword at her back, and an Uzi dangling from a shoulder strap. They took in the stunned glares from the others.
Sonja grinned and asked, "Well, what do you think?"
"What the heck are those?" Xander said once he got his jaw closed. "You two look like centerfolds out of a Soldier of Fortune swimsuit issue."
"It’s a new type of body armor made from a micromesh space age polymer," Gabrielle answered with a smile. The Amazon Queen leaned in and whispered, "Don’t tell anyone, but the U.S. Army’s developing this stuff into combat uniforms. They’re not due out until 2025, but luckily we have contacts. But for now, they don’t officially exist."
"They look like they don’t exist anyway," Cordelia grumbled.
"Jealous?" Sonja drawled, then the Hyborean and Greek Immortals laughed.
Finally overcoming her shock long enough to speak, Buffy said, "You’re wearing THAT to the fight."
Sonja responded. "What do you think the vamps will think?"
"They’ll be undressing you with their eyes," Cordelia sourly replied. "Not that they’ll have to work that hard at it." She stiffened and groaned, "Goddess, what am I SAYING?!?"
"Uhm," Vamp Willow asked, hope lighting up her eyes, "have we got time to get another outfit like that?"
Sonja and Gabrielle glimpsed at each other as they considered the question. Any answer was prevented by Artemis’ appearance next to the group.
"Buffy," the Goddess said, "Steven said it’s almost time."
Somehow, everyone in the room heard Her words. As one, those bound for the alternate reality began to work faster to finish their preparations. Steve walked out of the office with the others and cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.
"Ten minutes, people. Be ready to go." He glanced around the room and, in turn, looked everyone in the eye. "Assume we’re going into a hostile situation. Artemis, where are you sending us?"
"The counterpart of your house," the Huntress answered. She grimly said, "There are vampires in the house, so I will scatter you throughout the rooms and back yard of the house to avoid any incidences of friendly fire."
"You heard her, people," Steve said, drawing his sword. "Lock and load for close quarters. We are going in hot. I repeat, we are going in hot. Be ready."
As the Wanderer turned to talk to JP and Merlin, the others finished their preparations or talked with those who were staying.
As Steve barked out the beginning of the countdown, the fighters began the final checks on their weapons and other gear. However, two men who didn’t have gear to check were standing off alone, staring at each other as they realized their time together was swiftly coming to an end. They both tried to think of something to say, perhaps along the lines of seeing each other later, but they couldn’t lie to each other or themselves. Finally, one of the friends broke the uneasy silence.
Angel sighed and said, "I guess this is it, Axel."
"Yeah, I guess so," the detective agreed. He put his hands in his pockets, glanced around nervously, and then took his hand out and held it out to Angel. "Take care of yourself, Dead Boy."
"Stay out of vampire fights," Angel said with a slight grin.
As they shook hands, Axel shook his head. "Sorry, Angel. A handshake ain’t gonna do it."
He braced his hands on Angel’s shoulders, and then proceeded to kiss both of Angel’s cheeks in the classic French fashion. He backed up and laughed his irritating laugh. In response, Angel rolled his eyes.
"Hey, do me a favor when you get back to your ‘hood," Axel said.
"I’m afraid to ask, but what?"
Axel smiled fully and said, "Well, if you ever find yourself walking around Motown, look ‘me’ up."
"Why?"
"Hey, who else is gonna update your wardrobe," the cop shot at him.
Angel said, "Sorry, but I’m not a glutton for punishment."
Axel’s smile vanished. "Punishment?!?" he snapped while glaring at Angel. "Punishment?!? How can you call my fashion sense punishment?!?"
"Prior experience," Angel smirked.
"Okay, fine! Be that way," Axel snapped. "Go on! Be the ‘Dark Avenger,’ LIAM."
Angel glared at him, but Axel just laughed before saying, "I’m gonna miss you, man."
"Oh?" Angel asked. He said, "Well, if you want to shoot more vampires, you could just move out here. . ."
Axel sighed, "Angel, man, stick to being the straight man. You were born for that role."
"Glad we agree on something."
As the countdown neared five minutes and counting, Willow’s eyes went wide. "Oh, no. I almost forgot!"
Amy looked at Willow. "What is it?"
"I’ll get it!" the redhead replied. She scampered off towards the computer room, leaving Amy staring at her in confusion.
A few moments later, Willow rejoined the group, with a new item slung over her shoulder. It was a thin carrying case of some sort, which Willow protectively nestled under her left arm.
"I know what that is," Amy remarked with a cocked eyebrow, "but what’s it for?"
"For me," Willow said with a tiny grin.
Amy’s eyes rose in understanding as Willow’s intentions became clear. She looked over at Steve, who was preoccupied with talking to JP, then back at the Wiccan. "You know how much those cost, right?"
"Of course," the resident hacker told her. She patted the case and said, "But we have connections and they could use any edge they can get once we return home. If I work with their Giles and show him how to use it, it’ll help them with their research."
"Fine," Amy muttered, raising her hands in defeat, "but I never saw you with it and I had nothing to do with it. Remember that when Steve bills you for a replacement."
"Spoil my fun," Willow pouted.
Steve looked around the room and saw that everyone had their weapons and gear ready. Taking one last look at Merlin, he asked, "Anything else?"
"Other than the fact that I still think this is a mistake?" the magician growled softly. "No."
Steve grinned. "Are YOU going to argue with an archangel?"
"I might be set in my ways, Wanderer, but I’m not stupid."
Steve just decided to decline on replying to that comment. He looked around once more and barked, "Okay, people. It’s almost zero hour. If there’s anything that needs to be said, say it now!"
"I want an outfit like theirs," Vamp Willow called out, pointing to Sonja and Gabrielle.
Steve started to sigh, but the grinning Goddess of the Hunt said, "Allow me."
She waved her hands around, and an azure glow formed a column around the redheaded vampire. As the glow pulsed a few times before fading, Artemis just giggled at the Wanderer’s glaring eyes.
When the glow faded, Vamp Willow’s gaze traveled the length of her own body. She grinned at the Goddess, her game face partially emerging due to her excitement.
"This is so COOL!" she shouted.
Everyone stared at her, stunned. The girl’s outfit was now a two-piece like the other two, but it was still the flat black color associated with Grail body armor. The top had a collar made of the same hard material as the original, but the rest looked like fabric. Light reflected off of it as she moved around to get a good look at herself. Whereas the Immortal’s armor was form fitting, Vamp Willow’s was beyond skintight. The top hugged her body like nothing else could, and as she turned around to show it off, she gave everyone in the room about as good a look at her figure as one could without taking the armor off. The bottom was of the same material as the top, but again, it made Sonja and Gabbie’s armor look modest. The bottom looked like the lower piece of a thong bikini. The boots she wore were no longer regular platform boots, but rather knee-high boots with sensible heels, which clacked as she moved. The final piece of the vampire’s new ensemble was a small band attached to her wrist.
"Willow," Artemis said with a full smile, getting Vamp Willow’s attention, "the band on your wrist allows you to change the color of the outfit, as with the Grail armor." She looked at Steve and said, "I thought I should keep *one* thing consistent with the original."
Merlin buried his face in his hand and said, "I’m getting too old for this shit."
"Speak for yourself, junior," JP said while grinning through the cigarette smoke clouding his head.
Vamp Willow looked at her slack-jawed lover and asked, "Well, Xander?"
"Uh. . ."
"I thought so," she playfully said, whirling around and strutting away, turning her head halfway to maintain a "come hither" look directed his way.
Off to the side, Mulder looked at Oz. "You know, she’s still the same person as your girlfriend," the Agent said. "What do you think?"
"Hmmm," the werewolf replied.
Amazed, Mulder and Scully glared at him. Scully sputtered, "She’s wearing that outfit, if you can even call it that, and all you have to say is ‘hmm?!?’ Does the thought of our Willow wearing that kind of thing even enter your mind?"
Oz just shook his head. "No. Doesn’t have to."
"Why not?" Mulder asked cautiously.
"Seen more of Willow than that," he said with a shrug.
Mulder thought about it and asked, "Really? So. . .there's something I've been wondering. Is she a natural redhead?"
As the assembled fighters switched their astonished eyes toward the FBI man, Vamp Willow answered for the guitarist. "If you’d like, cowboy, I can settle that question for you right now."
"NO!" came the shout from everyone, with the exceptions of Vamp Xander, Sonja and Gabrielle.
Scully slapped Mulder on the back of the head and snapped, "FOX WILLIAM MULDER!!! If you don’t shut up this instant, you will be on the couch for LIFE!"
Buffy and Cordelia looked at Willow, who stood there, still as a statue, jaw hanging open, eyes glazed over and staring at her double. They looked at each other, and Buffy said, "Great. We’ve lost her. She’s catatonic."
"I think I’ll join her," the dark-haired Amazon moaned helplessly.
Wondering about all the stares directed her way, Vamp Willow asked the room, "What?"
"Artemis," Steve said with a note of pleading in his voice, "would you PLEASE do the honors?"
"My pleasure," the Goddess said with a smirk. "Robin, the quick rundown."
"Okay, guys," Robin said as he cracked his knuckles in preparation for the shift. "What Arty’s gonna do is a variation of the plane shift spell. This isn’t your typical ‘flash of light’ teleport spell, or your ‘open a portal and walk through like a doorway’ dimensional door. It’s really simple; one moment we’re here, the next we’re in the other universe. It’s kind of like being above water one minute, below the water the next. Just no splash." He looked at the Patron Goddess of the Amazons and said, "Take it away, Arty."
"Don’t call me that," She growled. She raised her hands and said, "Prepare yourselves."
As the reality-bound fighters gripped their weapons and got into a ready position, Artemis shouted, "NOW!"
Just before they disappeared, Robin’s voice could be heard, in an impersonation of Ralph Kramden, shouting, "To the MOON, Arty! TO THE MOON!"
As the flash faded and the vast majority of the people in the room vanished, Artemis sighed, "I hate fairies."
317 Bryant Terrace
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
Steve materialized inside of his bedroom, or what passed for it in this universe. He brought his sword up to a guard position and scanned the entire room to see if he was alone.
JP was standing beside him, lighting a new cigarette. The Atlantean grinned and said, "Well, here we are."
"Where’s Buffy?" St. Wolf demanded, looking around frantically. He said, "She’s not here."
"Maybe Arty teleported her elsewhere in the house to keep the two leaders from being bunched together," JP replied, attempting to mask the worry his own voice held. "Looks like we got the short straw for getting any action."
"The room’s empty," the Texan pointed out.
JP grumbled, "Exactly my point."
Any further dialogue died in their throats as a single shot rang out, sounding like a death knell to the men in the silent room.
"SHIT!" St. Wolf shouted.
As he bolted for the door, JP chuckled, "See you downstairs, punk."
The senior demon hunter vanished before Steve’s eyes, leaving the cursing Wanderer to charge down the stairs alone.
Methos, Robin, Duncan, and Connor all appeared in the back yard. As they materialized, they checked their surroundings for enemies. Even though they had just arrived, they had a potential problem; the Buzz had struck the three Immortals.
The MacLeods acted as one, facing the house. In doing so, they failed to see what Methos and Robin saw in the opposite direction.
"MacLeod?" the Greek Immortal gulped, worry lacing his words.
"Yes?" both MacLeods asked.
Robin gulped and said, "Connor, Duncan, would you mind turning around? Nice and slow?"
"Why?" both Highlanders asked.
Their answer came in the form of the sound of rounds being chambered in over a dozen weapons. Connor and Duncan both tensed, looked at each other, and then glanced over their shoulders.
Several men and women wearing the uniform of the Sunnydale Police Department were pointing their weapons at the quartet of fighters.
Robin slowly raised his hands. Seething, he looked at the Heavens and shouted, "Oh, sure! In THIS universe they have their heads out of their asses!"
As he dropped his sword and scanned the crowd for the Immortal he sensed, Methos growled, "MacLeod, I am going to kill St. Wolf for this."
"It was Artemis who did this, Adam," Duncan countered, using Methos’ alias. He realized that Artemis must have known about the cops being about to enter a vampire-operated drug house. "It wasn’t Steve."
"He was the one who shanghaied us for this mission," Methos snapped in disgust. Grinding his teeth, the five thousand-year-old man told his companions, "Besides, She’s a God, but he isn’t. Him, I can kill."
"I’ll help you," Connor growled, equally displeased at being in this predicament.
Duncan slowly turned around and looked at the crowd of law enforcement officers. He raised his hands, but kept his katana in the right one. He gently asked, "I don’t suppose the fact that we’re alive, breathing, and here to fight vampires will be of any help to us?"
Some of the officers seemed taken aback by the Scot’s calm demeanor, although none of the weapons wavered. Finally, a female voice ordered, "Give us names! Now."
"Duncan and Connor MacLeod, Section Seven Covert Operations," Duncan replied, seeing no reason to lie. He thought the voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it. "The other sword-carrying gentleman is Adam Pierson, and the unarmed young man is Robin Goodfellow."
The words "covert operations" only seemed to make the officers even more nervous. After a short, tense delay, the same woman asked, "Why are there only four of you?"
"We have other operatives in the house," Connor responded with a note of urgency. "And, ladies and gentlemen, please keep in mind that you are keeping us from joining them."
A single shot rang out from inside the house, causing the four fighters to move on instinct. They quickly stopped when a voice shouted, "Freeze!"
"Our people are in there, dammit!" Robin screeched. "Help us, back us up, cover us, or follow us and aim those pea-shooters at our asses, but we’re going in!"
The four warriors quickly turned and began heading for the house, much to the shock of the Sunnydale officers. After two seconds, the senior officer barked, "We’re backing them up! Let’s go!"
"What?!?" one of the uniforms blurted. "Why?!?"
"We didn’t know there were vamps in that house," the woman said with determination. "They may not know it, but those four just saved us from a slaughter, so we’re going to do the same. Follow me!"
Before anyone could protest, the undercover Sergeant calling herself Karen Jenkins led the charge into the drug house, reaching under her trench coat to pull out a weapon more suited for close quarters combat.
The six vampires working in the supply room continued to pack their drug shipment at a rapid pace. Running a half-hour behind schedule, they knew they would be out a large amount of money if they didn’t make up for lost time.
Their attention was diverted when they sensed a presence behind them. The leader, a hulking brute of a vampire, turned around to deal with whomever had invaded his home. He stopped short, not for the least of which was because he recognized the woman in the middle of the trio who were now standing in his supply room, two of whom were clad in clothing that was quite revealing, not only for what it covered, but for what it revealed.
"Willow. . .? Where the Hell have you been? The Master’s been busting human’s guts wondering where you and your boy toy vanished to."
"Uhm. . . uh. . ." Willow said, looking down at herself. She felt like fainting; she was now clad in the exact same outfit that Vamp Willow had worn before Artemis had changed it to something even more daring. Somehow, Willow knew it was still fully protective against weaponry, since she figured that Artemis wouldn’t leave one of her Amazons defenseless. But she still could not believe that her Goddess would do something like this.
Her attention was brought back to the largest vampire, who said, "Willow? Who are these two humans? You brought HUMANS here?!?"
Willow quickly ad-libbed, shooting a hard look at the vampire leader. She snarled, "Do you have a problem with whom I choose to play with?"
The sextet vampires were caught off guard, all but the leader open ogling the revealing outfits worn by the two Immortals.
The leader, well versed in Willow’s legendary sexual exploits as well as her brutality, said, "Then why did you bring them here?"
"What?" Willow asked with a prim smile, working to project the same attitude as her double. She slinked forward a bit, moving up to the demon that topped her by at least a foot. She ran a finger up and down his chest and said, "They’re mine. But I did bring enough to share with everyone."
The vampire leader was about to inquire what she meant by that, but was cut off by a feminine, "Ewwwwwwwwwww!"
The vampires, brought out of their Sonja- and Gabrielle-induced stupor, looked around, and found they were surrounded by Buffy, Wish Buffy, Cordelia, Vamp Willow, Jenny, Randi, Scully, Maxine, Jessica Alvarez, Tina Blanco, and Mindy Jennings.
Seeing the two Slayers and Vamp Willow, the leader started to panic. "Who the Hell are they, Willow?!? Where did you get them from?"
"Well," Vamp Willow said, vamping out and surprising the leader of the drug dealers, "it involves other dimensions and worlds. The other me isn’t a vampire, she’s worse. She’s a witch."
"She’s like you?" one of the underlings asked, mistaking her meaning.
"Well, yes and no," Willow said with an evil grin at the opening provided by her twin. As the vampire leader looked at her, Willow’s hands started to glow as her eyes took on a predatory look. "You see, when she calls me a witch, she means it literally. As in witchcraft."
"It’s a magic thing," Vamp Willow added in anticipation of the upcoming fight.
The vampires looked back and forth between the massed group of women, most of whom were holding swords and/or close quarters assault rifles, all of which were trained on them.
One vampire quipped, "You know, I’ve had fantasies about a situation like this."
"WHAT?!?" the leader, unable to believe his underling was being flippant in this situation, babbled in growing dread. "FANTASIES?!?"
"Well, they didn’t involve guns and swords," he confessed.
Vamp Willow and Willow shared identical smiles of anticipation, leading them to say, "Get them, girls."
Vamp Willow quickly jumped forward and landed a crescent kick to the leader’s stomach. He doubled over and stumbled backward, straight into Willow’s waiting arms. She grabbed his head, tensed her arms as he screamed in pain from the electrical charge emanating from Willow’s hands due to her aborted lightning bolt spell, and jerked with all of her Amazon might. The leader’s neck snapped with a sickening crack.
A second vampire ran afoul of Scully and Maxine. Maxine swung her darn dao with a low, rising cut that connected with the bloodsucker’s rear end, while Scully, fighting down confusion over her fellow Amazon’s tactics, took the vamp’s head. He vanished into a cloud of dust.
The third vampire was both lucky and unlucky at the same time; his death was quick, but Buffy, Wish Buffy, and Cordelia delivered it. In the same exact instant, Buffy chopped his neck with Vampire Slayer while Wish Buffy and Cordelia stabbed him in the heart with a stake and sword, respectively.
Jenny and Tina, who simultaneously fired off blasts of magical energy called levin bolts, a form of attack that only affected magical beings, attacked a fourth, standing right next to the previous victim. The bolt tore through his heart, causing the vampire to disintegrate in a larger cloud of dust than normal, smothering the two Slayers and Amazon with dusted demon.
"HEY!" all three shouted in perfect unison, spitting vampire dust out of their mouths.
The fifth vampire was apparently smarter than his fellows. As soon as both Willows ordered the charge, he dropped to the ground and drew his gun. He was under no illusions that he was going to survive; unlike his leader, he’d been at the factory when the Slayer and Angel had attacked, and so had recognized her in the crowd. He quickly aimed his gun at the one clear target he had and pulled the trigger. His joy at seeing the bullet spark off of Sonja’s breastplate, sending her flying to the ground in a heap, was short-lived as an all-consuming pain erupted in his head.
Jessica Alvarez acted too late to keep Sonja from getting shot, but she still took a grim amount of satisfaction in the mental agony suffered by the shooter. She quickly brain blasted the vampire with the full extent of her mental powers, leaving him a literal mental vegetable. Randi quickly moved forward and stabbed the vampire through the heart, putting him out of his misery.
The final vampire was handled by Mindy Jennings. Mindy quickly ended his undead existence with a double swipe of her katana, the first slashing his legs to rob the undead being of the power to stand, the second removing his head from his shoulders as he fell to his knees. He vanished in a smoke cloud, finishing the quick battle.
As the dust cleared and settled, the women of the task force quickly took in their surroundings. Sonja, the only person even touched by the four vampires, was slowly standing up, aided by Gabrielle. As she helped the Hyborean up, Wish Buffy said, "Now that that’s over with, where’s our other people?"
"C’mon, let’s go find them," Buffy sighed. Somehow, she got the feeling that it had been no accident that all of the women in the task force had been sent into the training room alone. "JP’s going to be pissed that he missed the action."
"Yep," came the raspy reply, startling both Slayers.
Buffy and Wish Buffy whirled on the ancient demon hunter, who just stood their grinning.
"Don’t DO that!" the Pre-Immortal Slayer shouted.
"Sorry, kid. But when we heard the shot, I decided to take the shortcut," JP grinned as he started up another cigarette.
"Could you please not do that in our house?" Buffy asked him.
JP continued grinning. He huffed once and said, "Actually, being in this reality, it’s not your house."
"Augh!" Buffy groaned as Steve rushed into the training room.
Steve checked out the scene and asked, "Is everyone all right?"
As the women nodded, Buffy grinned and moved up, putting her arms around Steve’s waist. "All fine, honey. Sonja got shot, but her body armor took the bullet. Six vamps, six dusted."
"Okay," Steve sighed in relief. He looked at JP and said, "JP, let’s check out the rest of the house. I want to know where our people are, now. We’ll separate on the main floor. You take that Buffy and start with the front yard. We’ll take the back."
Wish Buffy glanced at JP and said, "Gee, thanks. Stick me with the geezer."
"I’m not a geezer," JP said through a cloud of smoke, "I’m an old bastard. So call me that."
Wish Buffy cocked an eyebrow before chuckling a bit. "Okay, you old bastard."
"Thank you," JP said, grinning back at her. "Come on, kid."
As they took off, Buffy looked at Steve. "I can’t believe those two are going to hit it off so well."
"Wonders never cease, my lady," Steve said with a shrug. "Let’s go."
As the four fighters left, Gabrielle asked Sonja, "Are you all right?"
Sonja grinned, made a show of dusting herself off, and said, "Of course. Good thing I was wearing my armor."
"Yeah," Cordelia snapped in disgust, "that’s easy for a bitch who’s lived for fifteen thousand years to say!"
"Hey, we can get you a suit if you want," Gabrielle offered, leading to Cordelia sputtering to laughs from the other women. "Any others?"
The laughter abruptly ceased, only to be taken up by Sonja, Gabrielle, and Vamp Willow.
Vamp Willow, still giggling, walked up to Willow and said, "You did good."
Willow smiled, but it died when she looked back down at herself. "I can’t believe Artemis did this to me!"
"What’s wrong? You look fine!" Vamp Willow said in admiration. "What’s wrong with it?"
Willow panted a bit and said, "Well. . . I guess it’s true; vampires really don’t need to breathe. This thing is so tight. ."
"That’s the idea," Vamp Willow said in a light tone, grinning all the while.
Willow sighed as she looked at her double. Nodding at the vampire’s outfit, she said, "And I thought this thing was outlandish. But THAT thing takes the cake."
The undead redhead shrugged. "I’ve worn less."
"Don’t tell me, please!" Willow sighed. She looked at her new clothes and muttered, "I have got to get out of this thing, or I won’t be able to breathe. And this thing is so low cut. . . ." She trailed off as she got a very good look at how much uplift the tight corset gave her chest. Staring at how her breasts looked from this angle, she muttered, "Wow. Look at those."
"Yeah, they look great, don’t they?" Vamp Willow said, watching Willow’s cleavage just as intently. "And they feel even better."
"Yeah," a distracted Willow admitted. "I kno--- Oh my Goddess!!!"
Cordy started to blanch and stuck out her tongue as she grimaced. "Yuck! Where’s Dr. Greene? The line starts behind me for those who need industrial strength therapy after that last admission!"
"Amen," a sick-looking Randi drawled.
Maxine, grinning at the discussions being held, looked at Scully and said, "This how your fights usually start out?"
"No," the Agent said in relief.
"Damn," the Bronx native snapped. "I was hoping they were all this fun."
Scully then asked, "And why did you stab him in the butt? Hasn’t Connor taught you anything about fighting vampires?"
"I was carving him a new asshole," Maxine replied, adding the exclamation point of a popping bubble.
"The phrase is ‘chew him a new asshole,’" Scully said in confusion.
The crew-cut blonde shook her head. Pointing at Vamp Willow, she said, "I’ll leave the kinky stuff to the kid over there."
As Maxine walked away to talk to Cordelia and Randi, Scully and Jenny looked at each other, wondering exactly what Artemis had gotten Herself into by making that woman an Amazon.
As the ladies began to relax, a new group burst into the room. The female operatives quickly brought their weapons to bear, forcing the newest arrivals to stop dead in their tracks.
"Whoa! Don’t mess up the outfit!" Xander bleated at Mindy, whose shimmering samurai sword was poking his chest.
"It’d be an improvement," Mindy teased, but she nevertheless dropped the blade.
Jenny took the initiative to ask, "Where did you four end up?"
"In the kitchen," Xander answered for himself, Oz, Vamp Xander, and Giles. "Lemme guess; Arty wanted the girls to have all the fun."
"You could say that," Scully chuckled. She looked past the group and asked, "Where are the others?"
"In the order that Lord Keighvin relayed the information to us," Giles began, rubbing his forehead in mock pain from the telepathic contact, "Robin, Methos, and the MacLeods arrived in the back yard, directly in the path of the Sunnydale police, who were arriving for a raid on this drug house. Steve and Mr. Withers ended up in what passes for Steve’s bedroom in this reality, while Lords Keighvin and Dharinel, along with Angel, Tobabaird and Tannim, materialized in the living room. Finally, Mulder and the male members of Tunafish appeared in the front yard to intercept another group of officers. They are currently engaged in a verbal squabble over Federal and local jurisdictions. Unfortunately, the Detective in charge of that group is not being very cooperative."
The Slayerettes moaned and Cordelia snapped, "Not Stein!"
"I’m afraid so," the librarian confessed.
"Of all the things to be the same in these two worlds," Jenny muttered. Taking command, she said, "Let’s go back them up before things get out of hand."
As one, the group filtered out and headed upstairs.
As they led the way into the living room, Xander asked his double, "Are you getting the feeling this isn’t going to be as easy as ‘win, fight, kiss the babes, then go home?’"
"What makes you say that?" the vampire inquired with his trademark grin.
The young man sighed. "Because we haven’t been here ten minutes and we’re already seeing changes. I mean, this is supposed to be Steve’s house."
"Hey, things could be worse," Vamp Xander offered.
The pair stopped once they saw several of Sunnydale’s finest standing in the living room with the members of the assault group.
Xander glanced back at his double and said, "Dude, don’t you know by now that you NEVER say, ‘things could be worse?’"
"Very funny," Vamp Xander sighed as several of the cops began fingering their guns.
Xander looked at Willow, who prepared to cast a shielding spell over their doubles as Vamp Willow quickly moved forward to protect her boyfriend. A female police officer began barking orders.
"Hold your fire!" Karen Jenkins ordered with a tone of command that would have made a drill instructor proud. It hid the cold fear she felt from being in such close proximity to so many Immortals. She glared at the Vamps, then their twins. She turned on Duncan and demanded, "MacLeod, what are you doing with THOSE two?!? Do you have any idea how much carnage they’re responsible for?"
"Their situation has changed, Ceirdwyn," Duncan told her. Hoping that the certainty in his voice would register with her, the Immortal added, "Our commander can run it down for you after we secure the house."
"Ceirdwyn was my MI6 code name, MacLeod," the Celt lied, to drown out the curiosity her fellow officers had about her past life. She, on the other hand, was not happy to be stuck in the presence of so many sword wielders. She nervously fingered her own sword and asked, "Who’s in charge here, MacLeod? The last time I heard your name mentioned, you were working with. . . Reagan Cole, wasn’t it? Tracking down some bomber for Interpol?"
"I’m in charge, Officer," Steve said as he and Buffy rejoined the group. "I’ve taken the liberty of asking a couple of Federal Agents accompanying this task force to escort Detective Stein in, so that we can have a quick briefing."
"That’s fine with me. . ." When she purposely trailed off, Steve just grinned and shook his head. As Stein came in with Mulder and Ed Alvarez, Ceirdwyn barked to her officers, "Everyone outside. Move it!"
As the majority of the Sunnydale officers began to go outside, Steve spoke to Stein. "Detective, I’d like to thank you for your time."
Stein glared at the Wanderer and said, "Save it. Would you mind telling me what you Febbies are doing, horning in on my drug bust?"
"They’re not Feds, Stein," Ceirdwyn interrupted sarcastically. She rubbed her forehead to wipe away the residual pain from the multiple Buzzes. "They’re not normal Feds, FBI, DEA, or ATF. They’re military."
Stein quickly took in the assembled group, not understanding the hostility their eyes held for him. His eyes stopped when he spotted the Xander and Willow twins standing together. He quickly lost his composure and bellowed, "What the Hell are THEY doing here?!?"
Steve quickly stepped in front of Stein to prevent him from attacking anyone. Meeting the cop’s irate gaze, St. Wolf said, "Detective, these two kids are working for me." Before Stein could protest, the Wanderer softly told him, "These twins are special operatives for us. Once we rescued the turned ones and restored their souls, they began helping us in our operations since they don’t have any family. That’s beyond the fact that they’re vampires; the redhead is a hacker extraordinaire. They’ve provided us with the Intel we’re using to form a plan for an assault on the Master. But your drug raid has complicated matters, to say the least."
Stein glanced at Vamps Willow and Xander once more. Seeing the regret in their eyes, his instincts told him this was on the up and up. Since he saw the look they both had, he decided to let it go, even if he didn’t like it. "So what exactly is your plan?"
"I need to keep this quiet," Steve honestly answered. "Here’s what I’d like to propose; you came here to bust the drug dealers, we came to kill the vampires. We took care of the latter, and we’re not here for the drugs. The drugs are yours, but here’s what I’d like you to put in your report; your raid was a joint operation with the Los Angeles branch of the FBI, who you called in for some heavier firepower upon finding out the dealers were vampires. After the raid, your officers took the drugs into evidence while your liaison to the Federal Agents remained with them to search the house for more drugs, guns, and cash. The truth behind this is that I’d like a liaison from your department to keep your brother officers from becoming bystander casualties when we have our little to-do with the Master."
Stein looked to Jenkins for her opinion on the plan. She nodded and said, "I can act as the liaison. Remember my background."
Stein considered the plan for several seconds. Finally, he said, "I’m telling you, I sure as hell don’t like Black Ops being in my town, especially if your plan depends on *those* two. But considering what you’re planning on doing, I’ll cooperate. I don’t want my people to be in any danger, so I’ll go along with it. How do you want to do this?"
"It’s simple, Detective," Steve replied with a straight face. <Why can’t our Stein be like this?> "I’ll keep Jenkins in the loop as far as our movements go. I’ll have her report to you at the right times, in order to keep your people out of the firefight. Afterwards, she’ll sign off on your report, and people will forget we ever came here. After all, we don’t exist."
"Neither do vampires," Stein snapped, unable to hide a chuckle. With a glance at Tobabaird and his Lord, the Detective shook his head. "And other things I’d rather not know about. Now, about the drugs?"
"I understand, Detective," Steve easily said. "But I’d like you and your people to lay off the kids, if you can. They’ve been through a lot, and it was the demons that did the killing, not the people in control now. They’ve been a big help to my unit. Now let’s get some of your people in here to start moving the drugs out."
"One question, if you don’t mind," Stein said. "If it’s not top secret."
"Shoot," Steve said with a nod.
"Just how do you restore the soul to a vampire?" Stein asked.
Steve’s jaw clenched a little. "Let’s just say that it’s absolutely amazing, what you can pull off once you get a few witches on the payroll."
Stein stiffened at the "w" word, and his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Great. I don’t want to know any more." He looked at Ceirdwyn. "Jenkins. Keep in touch."
"Got it, Stein," she agreed. As Stein left to get officers to begin moving the drugs, she asked, "All right, now what?"
Steve quickly answered the Immortal woman. "Jenkins, I’ll lay it on the line for you. We know you’re like some of us, and that you can tell what some of us are as well. Don't be alarmed, we aren't headhunters. We work for the government and we're here to help with your vamp problem. Do you want to join us in taking them out to keep your brother police officers out of harm's way and to keep the civilian casualties to a minimum?"
Ceirdwyn was still nervous about this. She might be a two-millennia-old Celtic warrior, but even she couldn’t take on this many Immortals. But her dedication to her fellow officers overrode that concern. She drew her broadsword and said, "I’m in."
"Now that that’s settled," JP said as he finished his latest cigarette, "you need to get to those White Hats, as they’re called here, before the Master’s assassins do."
"What about you?" Steve inquired. "Aren’t you joining us?"
"Well, Steve, it’s like this," Robin said as he cracked his knuckles. "When we got sent here, Arty gave me and JP the lowdown on who we can trust as allies in this fight. She also told me an old friend of mine is here. Now, while I still have the restrictions on my magic, I can use a teleport if I’m recruiting good guys to fight evil. Looking this friend of mine up will help us get more allies a lot faster."
Despite the nervousness he felt over allowing someone Robin called friend into the battle, Steve agreed that they needed help. The Immortal nodded and said, "All right, Robin." He looked at the Atlantean and said, "How about you, JP?"
"Unlike Goodfellow," Withers grinned as he put a fresh cigarette in his mouth, "I should have duplicates. Thought I’d look this one up."
JP quickly vanished, leaving nothing but a wispy trail of smoke rising toward the ceiling.
As the members of Section Seven considered the ramifications of having *two* JP Withers in the fight, Xander asked, "Steve, Eddie, can I ask you something?"
Steve started rubbing the bridge of his nose. He dryly said, "Yes, Xander?"
The warrior swallowed and said, "Well, with two JPs in the fight, do we really even need to be here?"
Steve and Eddie looked at each other as they considered the question. Eddie shrugged.
Steve reluctantly said, "We’d better stick around, just in case."
"We were afraid you’d say that," Cordelia groaned.
Chuckling under his breath, Robin said, "Well, I’m off myself. I’ll be back as soon as I can."
Before the sprite could leave, Ceirdwyn said, "Wait. I have to know. Are you really Robin Goodfellow?"
Sensing what was coming up, Robin’s shoulders sagged. He sighed, "Yeah, I’m him."
"I see," the police Sergeant said. "Tell me something. Why didn’t you keep William from mixing up two separate characters like that?"
Everyone stared at her, too stunned to react.
Slowly closing his jaw, Robin whispered, "How’d you know?"
Ceirdwyn shrugged nonchalantly. "William liked his liquor."
Robin’s face split into a grin. "YES!" he shouted gaily. "I finally WON one!"
He vanished in a twinkling of light. Everyone watched the empty space for about twenty seconds, until Buffy broke the silence by saying, "You realize he’s going to be SO impossible to deal with, now."
Getting on track, Steve looked at Wish Buffy. "You’re with me. Let’s move." Steve started for the door at a brisk pace, calling out names as he went. "Jenny, Mulder, Scully, Duncan, Sonja, Gabrielle, Eddie, George, Mindy, Randi, Ceirdwyn and Tannim are with me. Buffy, you’re in charge until we get back. Work with the cops on getting the drugs out of here so we can secure the house. Keep an eye out for vamps, stray or otherwise. We’ll be back as soon as possible."
Buffy nodded as they left and the people remaining at the house moved to help the police load up the evidence and establish a defensive perimeter in case any uninvited guests decided to make an appearance.
Sunnydale High Library
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
Larry Blaisdell and Oz Green burst into the library while their leader, Rupert Giles, examined numerous mystical texts for clues concerning what had happened when he’d cast the temporal folding spell nearly a week ago. They had just returned from a patrol and had bad news to deliver.
Giles, unaware of their arrival, was lost in his books. He had to find out what had happened that fateful day. Upon his charges’ return from the factory, the two White Hats had reported the story of the strange disappearances of the their enemies, Willow and Xander. They had also told the Watcher of the vampire who had taken their side in the melee, as well as their report on how he had willingly fought side by side with the Slayer. Giles had quickly assumed that their disappearances might well be linked with the spell. He had spent the last five days attempting to find a spell that might undo the effects of his previous endeavors.
Walking over to the desk, Oz said, "Hey."
Giles started and looked up at the skinny young man through bleary eyes. He adjusted his spectacles and said, "Yes, Oz?"
"We need to book," the laconic man informed the librarian. "Bad news."
"As is most news these days," Giles said with a sigh of resignation. He closed a pair of books and said, "Well, I’m not getting anywhere with this research. Go ahead. What news do you have for me?"
"It’s not good, boss man," Larry said. He set his crossbow on the table. "Master’s got over four hundred vamps in the factory and the Bronze. Some demons, too. Even worse, forty of those bloodsuckers are on their way here."
Giles’ face went white. Fear knotted his stomach. He stared at his two partners and asked, "Do you think we should go underground?"
Oz and Larry spared glances at each other. Larry nodded, so Oz turned back to the elder man. "Couldn’t hurt. We could try your place."
Giles nodded in agreement. "Very well," he stated, picking up his books. "We’ll take the reference materials and weapons with us. We’ll leave immediately."
Apparently, immediately was not soon enough, as three vampires appeared at the windows of the library doors less than five seconds later.
Larry spotted the vamps and shouted, "We got company!"
Oz and Giles bolted for the weapons chest in the book cage, while Larry gripped the crossbow he’d been carrying on patrol. The vampires boldly strode into the library with their game faces on, their smug faces reflecting their confidence of an easy victory. Before the battle could begin, the library’s occupants were startled into hitting the deck by the bone-chilling sound of automatic weapons fire.
The Quad
Sunnydale High School
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December 1998
Steve’s team saw the enormous group of vampires approaching the school entrance. He held them back with an upraised hand, as he waited for the vamps to move out of sight. He saw fifteen of the bloodsuckers establish a perimeter in front of the entrance and softly cursed under his breath.
"What are you doing?" Ceirdwyn demanded hotly. "You can’t just let them get killed!"
"I don’t plan on it." He looked at Tannim. The human mage was an unknown factor to the Wanderer, but he had to take a chance. "Tannim, can you teleport people?"
The mage grinned at him. "I can do better than that, St. Wolf," he said with certainty in his voice. "I can open a Gate."
Steve’s face mimicked the smile directed his way. "Okay. We’re going to open two. Agents will go through in the order I call out. The first one right will open right in front of the library. Duncan, Sonja, Gabrielle, Randi, and Buffy are going through. The second gate will open just inside the front doors. Mulder, Scully, Ceirdwyn, and Jenny are with me in the gate. Eddie, George, Mindy and Tannim stay here and take out the guards on our signal. Got it?"
When everyone nodded, Steve said, "Now, Tannim."
The mage focused his magical energies and cast a spell to open a Gate. As a shimmering oval opened in midair, Steve softly hissed, "Go!"
Duncan and his companions ran through in single file. Once the last person had passed through, the oval closed on itself, disappearing without a trace. The mage cast the spell a second time, looking at the doors and those guarding it to estimate how far inside the door he should place the portal’s exit. Once the second gate opened, he barked, "Go!"
Steve nodded, gripped Ceirdwyn’s arm, and said, "Here." He held out his Israeli issue Uzi to her.
"What are you going to use?" she asked.
"This," St. Wolf said. He drew Demon Slayer and took off at a full run into the portal.
Just shaking her head at these mysteries popping up, Ceirdwyn waited until Mulder and Scully had sprinted into the Gate before following them.
As the second portal vanished, Tannim said, "What’s the signal?"
Eddie said, "That."
"That" turned out to be the sound of an Uzi firing inside the school. Tannim jerked in response. He glanced at Eddie and asked, "Time for a little offense?"
"Allow me," George said, a tight smile bracketing the lollipop sticking out of his mouth. He walked out from behind a pair of cars and shouted, "Hey, assholes!"
When the guards turned towards him, he unleashed the first burst from his M60. Five vampires who were too slow died in a flurry of particles that covered the steps of the school like a fresh dusting of snow.
Eddie sighed at his Agent’s lack of stealth as he and Mindy stood up and fired the Glock 21s they’d borrowed from Section Seven. He smiled as their precision shooting took out just as many vampires as George’s sheer quantity of firepower.
Tannim began to chant. When he finished, he cast his spell. Although there was no immediate visible effect, he seemed confident because he just sat down and waited.
Mindy gave him a hard look and barked over the roar of George’s machine gun, "Well? What happened?"
"Watch," came the mage’s amused reply.
The few vampires that had survived the onslaught made a break for the doors. Before they enter the school, a Gate opened in front of them. The vampires were unable to break their momentum and plunged into the Gate, which terminated a second later.
Eddie glanced at Tannim. "What was that?"
"Delayed Gate," the young man answered. He brushed off his pants. "I sent them to a region of Underhill."
"What region?" George asked.
"My old teacher’s place," Tannim said with a grin. "He happens to be a dragon."
Mindy let out a laugh at the mage’s method for dealing with the vampires. "I like this kid."
"Me too," George seconded.
"Enough chatter," Eddie barked. "There’s still a fight going on inside. Let’s go."
The four sprinted for the entrance to rejoin their teammates.
Duncan burst out of the portal, followed by Sonja and Gabrielle. The Highlander and the Immortal women found themselves in the middle of a group of ten vampires. Taking advantage of the demons’ momentary confusion, the three warriors began swinging their blades.
Sonja and Gabrielle moved to stand back to back. They eliminated two vampires in as many seconds, forcing any who planned to rush them to reconsider their options.
Duncan brought his katana around with practiced grace. In one fluid motion, he took a vampire’s head and spun around with a reverse punch to the jaw of a second, which had been coming up behind him.
Randi and Wish Buffy joined the group at this point. Upon seeing the situation, the young women brought up their swords, Randi the Sword of St. Catherine, Wish Buffy, the unadorned longsword given her by her twin. Before they could join the fight, Wish Buffy’s paranormal senses picked up what the Immortals had not. There were vampires entering the library.
"Vamps in the book room!" Wish Buffy shouted. She turned and bolted in that direction. "I’m on it!"
"Go!" Duncan ordered as he decapitated a female vampire. "Randi go with her!"
"I said I got it!" Wish Buffy called over her shoulder.
Randi followed without comment.
Steve exited the portal and took up a defensive stance. He waited for Scully and Mulder to come through before starting to move forward. Mulder and Scully moved to opposite sides of the hallway, guns in hand, as Ceirdwyn appeared, brandishing her borrowed Uzi. Seconds later, the portal faded into nothingness as Jenny brought up the rear, spells at the ready.
The group heard conversation coming from the left branch of the nearest intersection. The vampires didn’t bother being quiet as they talked about their plan to destroy the school after they or the hired assassins eliminated the White Hats. Steve looked at his companions and motioned for them to stop. The Wanderer pointed at Ceirdwyn to move to the front and counted down with his fingers. On three, the two Immortals jumped into the intersection.
About half of the vampires reacted when the man and woman came into view. The ones who saw the weapon in the woman’s hands moved to hide or attack, but their companions began to die as the woman opened fire.
Four vampires died in the first volley before the shooter reacted and began focusing on specific targets in order to save ammunition. Two rushed her partner, who was wielding a samurai sword that produced a blue light.
As the occupants of the library recovered their nerve, Larry was the first to go on the offensive. The burly football player brought the crossbow to bear on the lead vampire and pulled the trigger.
The vampire moved backwards, rising into a kneeling position that forced the shot to miss his heart. It didn’t matter, however, because the bolt lodged in the vamp’s left eye. He fell back with a horrifying squeal, clutching at the quarrel that blinded him.
The shot spurred Giles and Oz to grab whatever weapons were handy. Giles brought forth a hand axe. Oz came up with a pair of throwing daggers. They began to move forward just as the two healthy vampires stood up.
<Holy shit!> Ceirdwyn thought in shock. She hadn’t really expected the Uzi to work on the vampires, other than as a scare tactic. She quickly saw that this weapon killed vampires as easily as a stake or beheading. She quickly adjusted her fire after the initial burst and began to take out vampires with more precise bursts.
To her right, the two vampires that attacked the man calling himself St. Wolf quickly learned that he knew his business. Ceirdwyn watched as the Immortal sidestepped his opponents and delivered the deathblow to the vampire furthest from her. Before the policewoman could follow her instinct to take care of the other, two shots rang out and caused the vampire to disintegrate.
"Thanks!" Ceirdwyn called out to the Feds who had covered her six.
"Don’t mention it," Mulder and Scully called out.
Near the library, Duncan was literally dancing among the vampires that were still up and moving. The vampires couldn’t get close enough to strike at the Scot, for doing so mean coming within reach of his gleaming sword.
Duncan eliminated another of his group’s opponents with a spinning slice. He chanced taking a glance at his partners and saw that they were in fine shape.
As Sonja disemboweled her current opponent, Gabrielle struck at one vampire by stabbing straight forward. The demon’s cocky look at her seeming mistake vanished just before he did. The last Queen of the Amazon nation let a grim smile touch her lips. <Didn’t expect a sword blessed by a Catholic priest, did you?>
Her musings were cut off as a female vampire attacked her.
Another vampire saw an opening as the shorter fighter stabbed her companion. She tried to attack, but the opening soon closed as the blonde woman reached out. Grabbing a handful of the vampire’s shirt, the small warrior threw her into the nearest wall without so much as moving her eyes. The undead female slammed into the wall with a crippling impact. She slid to the floor in a crumpled heap, leaving a trail of blood on the lockers as she descended.
The few remaining vampires began to back off at the sight of the Battling Bard’s superhuman strength.
"Slayer!" some of them hissed in fear.
The standing soulless ones decided to make discretion the better part of valor. They turned and ran for the doors. The three warriors followed with caution.
The vampires no longer had the same look of arrogance they’d sported upon their entrance, but they still felt confident in their ability to handle the three humans.
That confidence faded when the Slayer, a sword in her hands and fury in her eyes, burst through the doorway, quickly followed by a second woman similarly armed.
Wish Buffy crashed through the doors and saw three vampires, one of whom was gripping a crossbow bolt that protruded from his head. Leaving him for last, Wish Buffy quickly engaged the larger of the two demons.
The Slayer swung her sword at the vamp’s leg. The blade dug deep, lodging in the meaty portion of the thigh. The vampire screamed in pain, but Wish Buffy didn’t let up. She released one hand and threw a backhand punch that sent her opponent’s head spinning around. As the vampire’s jaw cracked, she withdrew her blade and swung. Light flashed off of the blade as the weapon cleaved through his neck without impediment, sending the walking corpse into the true death.
Randi engaged the second vampire, who pulled out a switchblade in a feeble attempt to counter her weapon. She quickly jabbed at him, and the crosses on her blade glowed briefly as she wounded his wrist. The knife dropped to the ground and left the man defenseless. The nineteen-year-old moved forward and stabbed him through the heart, leaving her weapon coated in dust.
She looked at Wish Buffy who quickly dusted the wounded vampire, ending his piteous moaning.
Wish Buffy glared at Randi. "I said I had it!" Wish Buffy snapped.
"Hey, I was following orders, just like you," Randi protested. She nodded towards the staring White Hats. "What’s more important? Your kill total or their lives?"
Wish Buffy winced at the question. She softly nodded and turned to Giles. With a grin she said, "Sorry about hogging the vamps, but you know what they say. The best defense is a kick ass offense."
The vampires that had survived the initial assault of Steve’s group split into two groups. One headed for the gym to escape through those exits. The other decided to try and break through the group in front of them.
The braver group felt their hopes die as Eddie, George, Mindy and Tannim rejoined Steve’s group. They watched helplessly as a fat man carrying a heavy machine gun brought his weapon to bear.
Hearing the others approach, Jenny looked over her shoulder while maintaining her casting. Seeing friends, the Gypsy turned back and finished her enchantment. A lightning bolt flew from both hands and each bolt wreathed two vampires in raw electricity. The two fiends died amid howls of agony.
Jenny prepared to cast another spell, but the effort was made unnecessary once George added a burst of gunfire to the rounds being fired by those others who were wielding firearms.
The vampires running for the gym collided with the few survivors of the fight against Duncan’s group. In the initial confusion, which had been enhanced by the gunfire, the two groups attacked each other.
Before they could sort out their identities, the two Section teams converged on their location and let fly with spells and bullets. Lightning and levin bolts combined with enchanted silver and armor piercing bullets to make short work of the blood drinkers who had come to kill the White Hats.
Once the dust settled to the floor, the warriors shot glances around the area to make sure no more opponents awaited them. Seeing that the area was secure, the vampire hunters turned and went to the library.
Giles, Larry, and Oz just stared at the Slayer and her companion. It wasn’t just the fact that she and the other woman were wearing black breastplates with the insignia of a cup in gold relief, or that she was actually smiling at him. It was that she had turned up after being gone for an entire week.
Finally overcoming his surprise, the Watcher smiled. "You’ve returned!" he exclaimed.
With a snort of laughter, Wish Buffy shrugged and said, "Sorry I’m late. It’s not easy getting an army for rent on such short notice."
The White Hats were caught off guard. "I beg your pardon?" Giles said. "Army?"
"Yeah, an army," Wish Buffy said as she tried to sense any more vampires. With none within range, she sheathed her sword and locked her eyes on those of the Watcher. "We need to book, Jeeves. Master decided to do a Nixon on you."
"Nixon?" a confused Randi asked.
"Yeah, Nixon. Dallas? 1963?" Wish Buffy told her confused partner. "Got killed by Jack Ruby. Don’t you learn American History where you come from?"
"Uh, yeah," Randi said sheepishly.
Giles paled and whispered, "The Master has hired assassins to do away with us?"
"That’s the story," the Slayer grimly answered.
Before anything more could be said, Randi jerked as the Buzz hit her. She brought her sword up out of instinct and turned to face the doorway. She relaxed when Steve’s battle group burst through the doors and the Buzz faded.
Steve looked around and asked, "All clear?"
When Wish Buffy and Randi answered in the affirmative, the Wanderer nodded to Ceirdwyn. The Celtic woman came forward and flashed her badge at the White Hats. "Mr. Giles, I’m Sergeant Jenkins with the Sunnydale P. D. We’ve come here to place you and your friends into protective custody. Please come with us."
Flabbergasted by the sight of the assembled group before him, Giles sputtered, "What is God’s name is going ON here?!?" He turned on Wish Buffy and demanded, "Slayer Summers, who are these people?!? Why have you brought them here?!?"
Mulder cleared his throat and said, "Mr. Giles, I’m FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder, head of the FBI’s X-Files Division. We investigate cases involving paranormal and supernatural phenomena. You have a vampire problem. One vampire in particular has you on his short list. Come with us now, and I promise all of your questions will be answered in due time. But this isn’t the place to do it."
Giles seemed ready to object, but both Larry and Oz came up and nodded to him, indicating that they thought they could trust these strangers. Although reluctant, the Englishman saw little choice, as they not only had the law on their side, but also for the fact that the Slayer trusted them.
"Very well," the Watcher sighed in defeat. "Let us go."
Giles picked up what books he could carry and began walking with the fighters while Larry, Oz, and Jenny picked up more volumes and followed the rest of the group out of the library.
As the fighters exited the building, Giles leaned in close to Wish Buffy. He softly asked, "Slayer Summers, what in God’s name is going on here?"
Wish Buffy tilted her head in thought. "Well, Jeeves, I could tell you what I’ve been through in the last week. But it’ll be easier to show you." She grinned at him and said, "Besides, if I tell you, it’ll like totally ruin the look on your face."
Giles suspected he was going to regret this, but kept his silence as the battle group faded into the night.
As the trio of men exited the secret passage, the two assassins hired by the Master watched as the vampire who’d acted as their guide continued to panic.
"Shit, shit, SHIT!!!" the vamp cursed. "The Slayer’s back! She has to be!"
The two assassins shared a glance; this so-called "Slayer" wasn’t the only thing that had decided to show itself in Sunnydale.
"We gotta tell the Master!" the vampire decided. He looked at the two hired guns. "The Master won’t care about the Watcher and his friends, now. He’ll want the Slayer killed instead."
The older of the two men, at least in appearance, said with his accented voice, "My friend, we were hired to eliminate the older man and his apprentices. Do you think we care about this ‘Slayer?’"
"But. . ."
The man smiled at the fearful undead. "But I’m sure we can come to an agreement over her."
The two humans smiled at each other. The vampire had retreated as soon as the bullets had started flying, so he had missed the arrival of the people who had hustled their targets out of the library. Both men realized that a special opportunity had been handed to them, and they were not about to let it pass.
The younger-looking man said, "The Slayer is small potatoes, vampire. However, we do have a problem."
"What?!?" the bloodsucker whined.
"You can’t be allowed to ruin our chance at some heads," the older-looking human replied. Before the vampire could comment, the old man pulled something from under his coat. He held it up for the vamp to observe. "So, you have to die."
With speed that belied his apparent age, the man brought the sword to bear. Relishing the dread in the vampire’s eyes, the man swung the weapon through the demon’s neck, severing nerves, muscle, and bone. The escort dissolved into dust particles as the man quickly replaced his weapon.
The other, who had enjoyed the minor spectacle, grinned at his companion. "You do realize, of course, that the self-proclaimed ‘Master’ will wonder what happened to the escort he so generously provided."
With a roguish grin, the man who’d killed the vampire innocently said, "Why, Kronos, it’s quite simple. This ‘Slayer,’ who has recruited a few allies, ambushed the vampires. The vampire died in the fight, but we escaped in order to provide this information, which he most certainly wants."
"Why, Ramirez," Kronos said with mock surprise, "one might think you take the Slayer for granted. I’ve seen a couple in my time."
"Well then, my friend," the Egyptian mused, "perhaps you should enlighten me with your wisdom, so as to prevent such a mistake from occurring again."
Chuckling to themselves, the assassins for hire retreated into the Sunnydale night to tell the Master their improvised tale.
Home of JP Withers
Location Unknown (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
JP teleported into this universe’s analog of the cave that he called home. Taking a quick look around, the original Bureau 13 Agent started cruising toward the cavern that passed for his living room. He didn’t bother keeping quiet, as he wanted to be located. He stopped at an intersection and waited. He wasn’t kept waiting for long.
The sound of a Masterson Assault Cannon being prepped to fire came from behind him. As JP began to grin, a familiar, raspy voice erupted.
"You have three seconds to turn around," JP Withers declared. "You then have ten seconds to tell me, in four words or less, why I shouldn’t blow you away."
JP turned around and grinned at his duplicate. "You’d ruin the outfit."
The brown-clothed Atlantean held the Masterson on JP. His raspy voice said, "What the Hell?"
"We need to talk, Aderron," JP said, puffing a cloud of smoke at Wish JP.
Wish JP growled and asked, "Okay, tell me what you are; simulacrum, clone, or practical joke by Horace?"
"JP Withers from an alternate universe."
Wish JP smiled. He dismissed the Masterson and said, "My next guess." He held out a hand, inviting JP to sit. "What do you want to talk about?"
JP waited for Wish JP to detach two Budweiser’s from the six-pack on his coffee table before answering. "We need to talk about Adrianna."
Wish JP stopped in mid-motion. Very slowly, he turned and faced his visitor. "I’m listening, Aderron."
"Did you ever have a talk with Michael about Adrianna?" JP gently asked. His soft tone would have shocked his fellow Agents, not to mention the other Immortals. "About her being reincarnated?"
Wish JP didn’t have to answer, because he was rapidly putting together the reason that his doppelganger had brought up the subject. He only said, "She’s come back?"
JP grinned in confirmation. "Short version. Her name is Buffy Summers. She’s in Sunnydale, California. She. . ."
"What is our daughter doing on the Hellmouth?!?" Wish JP demanded in anger.
The visiting Atlantean said, "MY daughter is one of the leaders of the group that’s come from MY reality to help YOUR daughter wipe out an army of vampires. My daughter is an Immortal Vampire Slayer."
"And the Adrianna of my reality?" Wish JP asked.
"Her name’s Buffy, she’s the Slayer for your reality, but she’s not Immortal. Not yet, anyway."
"I hope you won’t mind waiting while I check your story out with Michael?" Wish JP asked with a knowing grin.
JP shared the grin. "3. . ."
"2. . ."
"1. . ."
St. Michael the Avenger appeared right on cue, joining the others in the cave. He smiled at Wish JP and said, "Aderron, if you can’t trust your own dimensional duplicate from an alternate reality, who can you trust?"
Wish JP sighed. He tossed a can to JP. The two popped he tops, guzzled the beers in one long draught, and then threw the cans over their shoulders.
"Aaaahhh," both demons hunters said.
"Okay," Wish JP said with a vicious smile. "I’m in."
"Wait," Michael said in a booming voice. "Aderron. . ."
"Yeah, Mike?" both JP’s said in perfect unison.
Michael set his steely gaze on Wish JP. "Don’t *you* start. This Aderron, I am saying this once; you will not tell your daughter the truth until after the battle is done. Then, and only then, may you speak of this."
"Got it," Wish JP reluctantly agreed. He conjured up a cigarette, lit it up, and said, "Let’s hit the road."
Both JP Withers vanished, leaving the Archangel alone in the cave. Michael looked up at Heaven and said, "No, Lord. I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces either."
The General of the Divine Host vanished in flash of golden light.
Somewhere Else
Location Unknown (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December 1998
Robin popped into the room. After taking stock of his surroundings, he moved to the nearest wall. Its surface appeared to be crafted of solid, freshly polished brass. Robin checked his reflection, rubbed the surface with one sleeve to heighten its sheen, and took another look. Deeming himself to be presentable, the sprite proceeded to find his friend.
His friend slept in an oversized La-Z-Boy recliner, its footrest locked in the up position. The being was eight feet tall with blue skin covering his heavily muscled arms, torso, and barrel-like chest. He had a narrow waist and legs. He had large, pointed ears and a short, finely trimmed beard. He was dressed in a long red and white striped nightshirt, a matching hat with a fuzzy ball on the end, and bunny slippers.
Robin crept over to what appeared to be a compact disc player. He searched through the CD’s in the pile, and was surprised to find one that he could use. He slipped the disc into the player, placed the earphones on his friend’s head, and punched the play button.
Suddenly, the military tune used to wake up soldiers in the morning blared in the being’s ears. The blue-skinned man’s eyes flew open and he reacted instantly. His sleeping gear vanished, replaced by combat fatigues, jungle boots, and combat helmet. He clutched an M-16 in his hands and stood at rigid attention until he noticed Robin laughing at him. He snapped his fingers and changed into a third outfit; white pantaloons bound by a gold sash, with black pointed Arabian slippers.
"Robbie?!? What are YOU doing here? It’s been. . ." He cocked an eyebrow at the fairy. "How long?"
"One thousand, four hundred, seventy-two years," Goodfellow laughed. Looking his friend up and down, he approvingly said, "You haven’t changed a bit."
The other shrugged. "We’re Eternals. What brings you here?"
"Genie, my friend," the Merry Wanderer promised, "it’s actually pretty simple."
Robin and Genie’s eyes narrowed as Robin telepathically told him about the current situation. What would have taken a minimum of twenty minutes to explain verbally took Robin all of fifteen seconds to relay to the Arabian being.
Genie solemnly nodded. "You’re right. It’s so simple it’s pathetic," he said. His face fell, though. "I don’t know, Robbie. You know my track record with mortals."
"Genie. . ." Robin started.
Genie waved his hands to forestall an argument. "Robbie, you know how mortals are. They’re selfish, they’re abusive of my gifts, they take, take, take. . ."
"Genie!" Robin said to cut him off. "These guys are different. Trust me."
"Robbie, you’ve always loved humans, but you’ve never had been enslaved by them."
Robin sighed. "Point taken. But there are exceptions, Big Blue. Al, for one. Jasmine. Her dad. . ."
"And that’s pretty much it. Are you telling me things are different on the old stomping grounds nowadays?" the Arabian asked skeptically.
Robin sighed. "Look," he said, "granted, humans have a lot of shortcomings, but you never had the same opportunities I’ve had to see their finer points. And believe you me, I’ve spent the last four months getting a bird’s eye view of some finer examples of the breed."
"Oh really?" Genie asked. He folded his arms and said, "Robbie, you know I’m not the type to just tell you to go and pound sand, but your argument better be a good one to convince me."
"Okey dokey," the fairy said with a grin. "Well, let’s take the honcho running this little to-do. They call him the Wanderer. He’s an Immie carrying around Demon Slayer, the Fangs of Tyr, and Herc’s bracers."
"What?" Genie asked, his eyebrows rising a foot. "He’s got Herc’s sweatbands?"
"Yes, and Herc’s impressed with him. And you know that’s saying something. He’s also on the good sides of Fraggie, Smaugzilla, and Coyote," Robin offered. He started pacing and continued his argument. "Then there’s Buffy. An Immortal Slayer carrying a Sword of Destiny. And their teammates are just as brave, even though they’re mortal. Well, except for Randi."
Genie actually seemed slightly impressed thus far. "What are they like?"
"Well, lets talk about the hotties first. They’re all Amazons," Robin said with a shrug. "We have some witches, a few guys I empowered. . ."
"What?!?" Genie blurted out. "You went against Obe-Wan’s orders?!?"
"When the Glitter Twins speak, I listen," the sprite responded. "Now back to the Scooby Gang. Not only is this Slayer willing to work with outsiders, these outsiders include a werewolf, a gypsy, witches, like I said, and one of Millie’s kids."
"Is anyone willing to vouch for them?" the other Eternal asked doubtfully. "Anyone I could contact directly and get the scoop?"
"Oh, let’s see. . ." Robin said, rubbing his chin in mock rumination. "Okay. On my plane, the Wanderer works for Mer and Niume, is friends with the Dragons, has friendships with me, Coyote, and Obe owes him a favor or two. There’s JP Withers, who actually likes the kid, and is really close to Buffy, don’t ask me why. Joanie and Mike have spoken well of him on more than one occasion; in fact, our Armor Plated French Friend gave his new student her pigsticker."
"Joanie gave that up?" Genie asked, surprise obvious in his voice.
"Yep. And Arty, of all Eternals, speaks well of a man, Immortal or not."
Genie thought hard about what had been said. He glanced at the grinning fairy and said, "Okay, Robbie. You’ve got something else up your sleeve. What is it?"
"Well, Arthur’s awake on my plane and has followed Steve’s orders on more than one occasion, as has a Gargoyle that works with Art," Robin said. He upped the ante by saying, "And for this little jaunt, we brought along JP, as well as Sonja and Gabrielle."
"Conan’s old squeeze and Xena’s partner?" Genie asked. Impressed despite himself, he said, "And? You’re holding out on me, Rob. Spill it."
"Oh, the Wanderer found a little brass oil lamp on one of his antique trips," Robin said, buffing his fingernails on his shirt. "After making two wishes that gave a bunch of less than fortunate people things to make their lives better, he freed the Djinn. Remember your third cousin, two generations removed, through your mother’s father’s mother’s mother’s side?"
"Rashid. . ." Genie mused before getting the point. "He freed him?"
"Gladly. And you should have heard what Rashid did when Khadaffi tried to put a bounty on the Wanderer’s head." Robin let out a chuckle. "Poor Mommar nearly wet his pants."
"Rashid always was the red camel in the family," Genie said with a grin. "You know, you almost have me convinced. Is there anything else you’re holding back?"
"One thing," Robin said, hitting the make it or break it point. "Steve was partially responsible for ending the Game and getting the Immies on the right track."
"He found that post-it note that. . ."
"Yes, finally. But don’t mention it, or we’re in for a world of hurt. And you can’t mention it here."
The Genie looked convinced, but said, "What do you want me to do?"
"Just handle transport right now," Robin said, vastly relieved. "Once we go after the Master, you and I will handle things in our own unique fashion. We’ll be following orders, but you know how good I am at interpreting them."
Genie perked up. "Okay, Robbie. I’m in."
"Glad to hear it, Big Blue," Robin said with a smile. "Now. . ."
"What SHALL I wear?" Genie asked himself, cutting off Robin in mid-sentence. He started to snap his fingers.
With each snap, a different outfit appeared on him, beginning with a Roman Legionnaire, going to a Civil War-era Union Army Colonel, to an Egyptian Pharaoh, then to a Japanese samurai, which then morphed into a suit of plate mail armor, to a Zulu chieftain’s outfit, into a 17th century French trapper’s buckskins, onto a pure white aba which appeared to be copied directly from Peter O’Toole’s Lawrence of Arabia costume, which changed into Cheyenne war dress (with full face paint), to a Greek warrior princess (complete with chakram), which then flowed into the black suit, tie, shoes, and sunglasses of one of the Blues Brothers, to a cowboy outfit remarkably similar to John Wayne’s garb from the movie True Grit (including the eye patch), into a yellow and red Hulkamania t-shirt and bandana. . .
"Genie!" Robin said trying to halt the impromptu fashion show. "It’s strictly come as you are."
Genie stopped and looked at Robin. He changed back to the pantaloons. "No dress code?"
Robin shrugged. "It’s California."
"Hmmm." Genie rubbed his chin. "Good point."
"First of all," Robin said as he pulled out a sheathed sword and tossed it to the azure-skinned man, "go get the guy who belongs to this. As I always say, the more the merrier."
Genie placed the sword through his sash and said, "Got it. Before we go, did they make a movie about me on the old stomping grounds?"
"Disney cartoon," the sprite replied. "Robin Williams did you. He caught your personality perfectly."
With a sour look, Genie said, "I had to put up with a live action Jim Carrey over here."
"That *is* sad," Robin agreed with a shudder. "But let’s get moving. See you on the Hellmouth."
With a mock salute, Genie disappeared in a flash. Robin promptly did the same.
317 Bryant Terrace
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
As the battle group returned to the house, the residents of this universe were shocked to see more of the people clad in battle armor with the golden symbol adorning the chest area.
Giles took in the professionalism of these people and decided that he could chance a question. He looked at the tall, dark-haired man who was apparently the leader of the group. "Would it now be permissible to ask who you are, sir?"
The man stopped short of the front door and smiled. "The whole story will be told inside, but I’ll tell you a little about myself. Officially, I’m Steve St. Wolf, field commander of Section Seven, which is the CIA’s version of your own Special Air Service and Royal Marines."
Despite dreading what answer would be coming up next, Giles ventured, "And unofficially?"
The man pointed at the cup on his breastplate. "Giles, I’m a Knight Lieutenant in the Order of the Grail." Before Giles could protest about the Order being a legend, the man came up close and whispered to him. "Giles, please. I’ll tell you everything inside, where we can discuss this business at our leisure. Suffice it to say that your Slayer knows about us, and she’s done surprisingly well under VERY difficult circumstances. So please bear with me."
Giles searched the man’s eyes, but saw nothing but honesty, courage, and compassion. Despite himself, the Watcher was impressed with this man he didn’t know. "Very well, Mr. St. Wolf," he consented, "we will comply. But may we at least know what to expect?"
Wish Buffy snickered, as did the small, dark-haired woman who bore no armaments other than a sword.
"What is so amusing?" the perturbed librarian asked.
"Oh, nothing, Ripper," the woman said with a demure smile.
Giles stared at her in shock. With a dry whisper he asked, "How did you know that name?"
"Oh, you’ll see, Jeeves," Wish Buffy joked. "Come on, Rambo. Let’s get this over with."
"Right," St. Wolf dryly agreed. He opened the door and said, "Giles, Larry, Oz, welcome to the Section Seven command post. I think you’ll recognize some of the people we have under our command."
Giving the grinning Knight a suspicious look, Giles led the way in, followed shortly thereafter by Oz and Larry.
The three men walked into the living room, which was a hotbed of activity as armor-clad commandos and uniformed police officers worked together, taking a large amount of drugs out of the house.
Giles asked St. Wolf, "Sir, what are those narcotics doing here?"
"Well," the warrior admitted, "we kind of commandeered a drug house as our HQ. The Sunnydale PD is being kind enough to deal with the drugs for us."
"I see," Giles mused. He could appreciate that the two organizations were getting along. Something Steve had said came back to mind. "Mr. St. Wolf, might I talk with those you said I am familiar with?"
"Of course," Steve said. Leading the way into another room, he pushed the door open and stood aside. "Please, don’t hesitate."
"Thank you," Giles said. He walked in and promptly stopped dead at the sight before him. He just watched in silence as a couple of people conversed as if he weren’t there.
Vamp Willow stared curiously at the laptop Willow had plugged into a phone jack in the counterpart to Steve’s computer room. She licked her lips eagerly and asked, "What IS that, Will?"
"Oh, it’s a little something Steve’s friends whipped up," the witch answered as her fingers whipped over the keyboard. "It’s a 1500 MHz Pentium 7 laptop. What do you think?"
"Oh my God," Vamp Willow breathed. "This thing shouldn’t exist outside of a sci-fi movie. I don’t suppose we have anything like that here, do we?"
"Don’t worry," the longer-haired twin replied. She grinned at Vamp Willow and said, "It’s staying here when we leave."
Vamp Willow’s eyes grew wide as she realized what that meant. She flew forward and hugged Willow, squeezing for all she was worth. "Thank you thank you thank you!!!"
"Uh," the Slayerette squeaked as the others laughed, "oxygen becoming an issue here."
Vamp Willow stepped back. She sheepishly said, "Sorry."
"Don’t worry," she said. She looked at the door and saw Giles standing there. "Giles? What’s wrong?"
The vamp and everyone else in the room turned and saw him standing there. Vamp Xander looked at Vamp Willow and asked, "Why do I get the feeling that’s *our* Watcher?"
"Because you don’t know when to be quiet over the Hellmouth," Giles replied from behind him.
Giles, Larry, and Oz all stared at the crowd in the room. Each man saw a pair of Xanders, a pair of Willows, a second Oz, a second Buffy, a living, breathing Cordelia Chase, and. . .
"Oh, dear Lord," Wish Giles muttered.
"Hello, G-Man," Giles said in greeting. When everyone looked at him, he said, "Why should Xander be the only one who can say that?"
Larry looked at the blank looks of shock on Giles and Oz’s faces. "Uh, Giles? Was that spell supposed to erase our universe or Xerox™ it?"
317 Bryant Terrace
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
After forty-five seconds of stunned silence, Giles spoke for the assembled warriors. "You cast that temporal folding spell?"
Startled by the question from his doppelganger, Wish Giles said, "I was attempting to undo the wish Anyanka granted to Cordelia Chase. Something went wrong, though. I seem to have merely neutralized her power center."
"What the bloody Hell do they teach you at the Watcher’s Academy these days?" Giles snapped in frustration. "Don’t you know that only the person who made the wish in the first place can negate it with a spell?"
Wish Giles bristled at his double’s tone of voice. "Well, what would you have done?"
"Well, I would have destroyed her power center," Giles said without hesitation. "With a paperweight, or perhaps a hammer."
"That’s our G-Man," a second Xander said. "Finesse is his middle name. . ."
"Shut up, Xander," Cordelia said. Off of the stares shot her way by Wish Giles, Wish Oz, and Larry, she said, "What?"
"Y-y-you’re dead!" Wish Giles stammered. "I watched Xander and Willow kill you!"
"That wasn’t me," she drawled. "That was the other me."
Of course, that answer only led to more confusion.
"Right. . ." Wish Oz murmured, "the other you?" He shook his head. "I’m officially wigged."
"Welcome to the club," Vamp Xander mentioned.
His comment drew Wish Giles’ attention, in addition to the other White Hats. Wish Giles turned to his Slayer and demanded, "Are you mad? Those two---"
Wish Buffy rolled her eyes and drawled, "Chill out, Jeeves. The previous tenants got their leases back."
Wish Giles raked his hand through his hair in frustration. "What the devil are you talking about, Slayer?"
"Mr. Giles, if I may?" the woman named Jenkins interrupted. With a reluctant nod from him, she said, "According to Mr. St. Wolf, some of his operatives used witchcraft to restore the souls to the vampire halves of these sets of twins."
"Twins?!?" Wish Giles snapped out loud. "What kind of idiotic governmental agency line have they been feeding you?!?"
"That’s what they told me, Mr. Giles," the officer replied in a frosty tone. "And before you say anything more about ‘idiotic governmental agencies’ a second time, let me tell you of several things. First of all, *I* worked for MI6, so when you insult government agents, you insult me. Second, a *small* group of operatives from this unit, including your Slayer, literally wiped out that group of vampires sent to kill you at the school in less than ten minutes. Third, the twin of your Slayer is this unit’s second in command. If I were you, I’d show a little respect for the people who saved your life. Especially the two children who just had their souls restored and are helping with the battle plan to eliminate the Master once and for all."
At the last remark, Wish Giles turned to the man called St. Wolf. "You trust them? Are you DAFT?!?"
"Hey, they’re souled now, okay?" the other Buffy reminded him.
Larry, who’d been silent for the most part, finally spoke up. "Oh, okay, they’re souled now. That doesn’t mean that all is forgiven for all our friends they’ve killed."
"Hey," Vamp Xander snapped, catching everyone’s attention. They saw tears forming in his eyes. "Here’s an idea. Let’s just pretend me and Will already feel horribly guilty over that and you don’t have to keep reminding us."
"Do you honestly expect us to believe you?" Wish Giles scoffed.
"I do," Wish Buffy responded.
"I told you this was a mistake," the vampire snapped in disgust. "They’re not going to accept us."
Wish Giles demanded, "And why should we? Having souls doesn’t make up for what you’ve done!"
"I know," a tall, dark-haired man in a duster said softly. The others in the room looked at him. They could see old, sharp pain in his eyes. "It never can. But you can at least let them try."
"And may I ask who you are, sir?"
"Hey, Giles," Larry said. He looked at his mentor and said, "He’s the vamp who helped us kick vampire ass at the factory."
Wish Giles and Jenkins both regarded the stranger with suspicion. Wish Giles asked, "You aided the Slayer? Against your fellow vampires?"
"Let’s just say. . ." The man glanced at Wish Buffy, then at the lovely, dark-haired woman who had called him "Ripper" at the library. She flashed a mysterious smile at him. "I have my reasons."
The cop’s mouth opened a bit, but Wish Giles cut off any comment she would have made. "What reasons would those be?"
"Destiny, for one," the man answered. Then, very softly, he said, "Redemption, for another."
Wish Giles stopped short at the sincere emotion in the vampire’s voice. "And who are you?" he asked, his voice a whisper.
"You’d know who I used to be," the man said as he looked the Watcher straight in the eyes. After a few seconds, he gave his chilling answer.
"Angelus."
Wish Giles paled and nearly passed out on the spot. "Oh, dear God."
The dark-haired woman glided forward and said, "Rupert, Angel has spent the last one hundred years attempting to make up for his sins. And I have forgiven him for what he did to my family."
"Who are you?" Wish Oz asked.
"My name is Jenny Calendar," the woman replied proudly. "But I was born Jenna Kalendish. I’m sure you’ll know THAT name."
"The Gypsy clan that cursed Angelus," Wish Giles breathed. He looked at the entire assemblage and, with a touch of fear, asked, "Who are you people?"
"We’re the ones who the vampires and demons piss their pants in fear over," a raspy voice called from behind the Watcher.
Wish Giles turned to see yet another set of twins. The main difference in these two was that they were adults whose eyes sent cold shivers running up and down the Watcher’s spine from the complete lack of mercy in them.
Trying to maintain his composure, the librarian asked, "Who are you?"
"The name’s JP Withers," both men said in perfect unison.
The double of the vampire Xander said, "You know, I can’t wait to get back to reality."
"Shut up, Xander," Cordelia snapped at him.
"I fear I’m getting a headache," Wish Giles moaned. "Will someone please explain what’s going on?"
Jenkins turned to St. Wolf. "I’d like an explanation, also. Who are you people? And don’t give me the Top Secret crap."
St. Wolf looked at Wish Giles and said, "Both Giles, Jenny, Sergeant Jenkins, Buffy, both JP’s, stay. Everyone else, please give us some privacy. Xander, ask Eddie and Mulder to oversee the officers’ departure. Also, you kids start rotating guard duty and making our guests feel at home."
"Got it," the living version of Xander replied.
Most of the people exited the room, leaving the few senior people there. After the door closed behind them, Wish Giles asked, "Now, Mr. St. Wolf, perhaps you’d be willing to be forthcoming with me?"
"Of course, Giles," the Knight of the Grail said with a terse nod. "You mentioned casting a temporal folding spell in an attempt to undo the wish made by this universe’s version of Cordelia Chase."
Wish Giles nodded. "Yes, I tried to. . . ." The Watcher stopped as he replayed the Knight’s words in his memory. He stuttered, "T-t-t-this universe?!?"
Jenkins also caught the phrasing. "THIS universe? What is going on here?"
The other Giles stepped forward and asked, "Rupert, are you familiar with Einstein’s theories of alternate realities?"
Although thrown by the question for a second, Wish Giles quickly caught on. "Of course! I am familiar with the theories, but only in the scientific context. I never considered them in a magical form. . .
Giles smiled and said, "It was quite surprising to us as well. What we’ve deduced so far is that. . ."
"Ahem," Jenny Calendar said. When both Giles looked at her, she sternly said, "Ruperts, fighting vampires, now. Long, boring analyses, later."
"She never lets me have any fun," Giles told the Watcher with a smirk.
"I beg your pardon?"
Jenny sighed at Giles’ antics. "Rupert, in *our* universe, Rupert and I are engaged. I’m his fiancée."
Wish Giles coolly appraised the beautiful woman for a moment, then cocked his right eyebrow in response. He glanced at St. Wolf and the other Buffy. The commander of this army just nodded with a smile, while Buffy giggled at the look on his face.
He sighed as he leaned over the table. "I wonder how I’m going to record this in the Diaries."
"Well," Giles said, "you could look at the bright side. It’ll irritate Quenton Travers to no end."
Wish Giles chuckled. He dryly said, "There is that." He turned back to St. Wolf. "Very well, Mr. St. Wolf, now that the tension has been relieved a bit, please proceed."
"Thanks," the dark-haired warrior said. "Here’s what we know. Your temporal folding spell somehow went awry, which caused it to send four people from this universe to OUR universe."
"Wait a minute!" Jenkins interjected. She slowly said, "Are you telling me you’re from another dimension?"
"No, an alternate reality," Steve reiterated. He smiled at Jenkins’ glare. "I’m sorry, but would you have believed us? Even Duncan?"
She stiffened again, leading Wish Giles to wonder what the problem was. She finally said, "I’m going to kill that bastard. I hope you won’t stop me, St. Wolf."
St. Wolf shrugged. "Hey, he brings it on himself. Besides, I had to put up with being his student for seven months," he joked. "But please, call me Steve. Now back to business. Giles, the four people who ended up in our reality were your Buffy, Angel, and the vampire versions of Willow and Xander. They were scattered across the U. S., but suffice it to say that they converged on the Hellmouth in our universe at the same time. After several hours of mix-ups and near misses, we discussed things with Angel and a friend he made in our reality. It was at that point that we figured out the situation and took steps to rectify it."
"How so?" Wish Giles asked, waiting patiently for the man to finish the tale.
"First, we captured your Willow and Xander," Steve said, not commenting on the wince made by the Watcher. "We used magic, with a little help from an occasional informant of ours, to restore their souls. They are repentant, Giles; it was the demons who did this to them, and they wanted to commit suicide upon the resouling. Luckily, Angel was able to talk them out of it."
"Regarding the vampires," Wish Giles asked, "what are your plans concerning them?"
"After the fight, that’s up to them," the other Giles said. "We were hoping to prevail upon you to allow them to help you in your endeavors against the Darkness."
Wish Giles stared at the man. "WHAT?!? You expect me to allow them near my friends?"
"Giles," Buffy said, surprising Wish Giles with her tender voice, "your Buffy trusts them. She actually asked for their advice on stuff when we were planning to come here. Do you think we would’ve brought them with us if we didn’t trust them?"
Wish Giles muttered, "I’m not certain of anything at this point."
"I’ll make it short," Steve promised. He looked at Jenkins and said, "Sergeant Jenkins, you may have noticed that we have agents from more than one agency. What I’m about to tell you will be hard to believe, but it’s completely necessary that you keep this to yourself. After we’re gone, depending on what the situation is, you can report to Detective Stein. I’m sure that Giles would like your help against the vampires."
The woman nodded. "I’ll think about that."
"Good," St. Wolf replied. He looked at both of the Wishverse residents at once. "Okay, here’s the story. Our group is more than just Federal Agents and military operatives. I know it’ll be hard to believe, but please bear with me. Giles, you know about the Slayers, of course." When Wish Giles nodded, the man continued his briefing. "Well, we also have a seven member team of the FBI’s covert operations division, who specialize in dealing with supernatural threats. Also amongst our group are a number of martial arts masters, numerous ex-Special Forces fighters, and a few Amazons."
Wish Giles paused in a reply, but the woman from the Sunnydale PD said, "Amazons? The Amazons are still alive?"
"Yes, we are," the Gypsy replied with a tiny grin. "We may be few in number, but we live and are charged to battle the forces of Darkness in Lady Artemis’ name."
"You’ve got to cut back on hanging with Giles, Jenny," Buffy murmured. "You’re starting to talk like him."
"Artemis exists?" Wish Giles asked in an awed whisper.
"Who do you think sent us here?" one of the twins named JP Withers replied with a grin through the cigarette smoke obscuring parts of his face.
Wish Giles gazed off into space as he considered the information that had been revealed to him. "What about your versions of Oz and Xander? They can’t be Amazons."
"They’ve been given equal empowerments by Robin Goodfellow," Giles answered. "As have I."
"I beg your pardon?" the Watcher from this universe asked. "Could you repeat that?"
"I was empowered by Robin Goodfellow," Giles assured him. "He should be back shortly. . ."
"Do you really expect me to believe you’ve been empowered by a fairy from fiction?" Wish Giles asked in a perturbed voice. "As much as I don’t want to admit it, I do believe you about the alternate realities. But THIS is a bit much.
Giles grinned and said, "If you’d care to take up quarterstaffs and test that that theory, I would be more than happy to oblige, Rupert."
Seeing the honesty coming through his double’s eyes, Wish Giles whispered, "Oh, my God."
"Ah, I’m not *that* good," a cheerful voice told the Watcher. When Wish Giles turned around, he saw a young man standing there with a grin that nearly reached ear to ear. "But thanks for the compliment."
"Who are YOU?" Wish Giles asked, frustrated at the appearance of yet another unknown person.
"That’s Robin Goodfellow," Sergeant Jenkins responded with a dry chuckle. She held up a hand to forestall any response from Wish Giles. "We’ve already been introduced."
Wish Giles was now starting to feel overwhelmed. "My God, Mr. St. Wolf. What in God’s name is going on here?"
"Well, we need to get some more allies, from people who reside on your world," Steve replied. "We already have a list from Artemis Herself. Then, we make plans to take the fight to the Master."
"And when the battle is over. . .?" Wish Giles asked, looking at Steve through hooded eyes.
Buffy answered him. "We clean up the neighborhood, set you up with some phone numbers to call if you need help, and head home."
Wish Giles said, "You will head back to your universe, and leave us to fight the good fight on our own?"
"My boss was very adamant about that, Giles," Steve said in an apologetic tone. "The best we can do is help you make contact with others in this reality."
Wish Giles looked strangely reassured. "Thank you, Mr. St. Wolf. I like that idea."
"Finally, someone who thinks like I do," the man claiming to be a fairy chimed in. "I didn’t even want you guys to come here in the first place."
Wish Giles turned to Robin, a curious look on his face. "If you think this whole crossing into alternate worlds thing is ill advised, why are you here?"
"And let these guys go off in your universe unsupervised?" the fairy snapped with a shudder. "I’m trying to save a world, not destroy it."
"You think they would cause any harm?" Jenkins asked in surprise.
"Look, Celtic Lady," Robin said with a sigh. "These guys work with teenagers. American teenagers."
"Good point," Wish Giles and Jenkins said together.
"Giles," Steve said, raising a finger, "I hope you understand that we can’t let you go home tonight. You, Larry, and Oz will have to stay with us. The sun will be up in a few hours, and then we can get some sleep before we go after the vampires."
"I understand, Mr. St. Wolf," Wish Giles said without any hint of defiance. "A question, if I may?"
"Shoot," St. Wolf said.
"Do you really believe that you can engage an army of vampires with firearms?" the Watcher asked, keenly interested in the answer.
Steve pulled out a magazine and took one of the bullets out. He showed Wish Giles the etchings in the bullet. "We have three types of ammunition on this expedition. The first are these enchanted silver rounds with Demon Killer spells etched into the rounds. Any head or heart shot will kill a demon or vampire. The second ammunition is bullets made of condensed wood and wax from holy candles. Those are for when we’re fighting vampires alone. The third is standard NATO-issue armor piercing ammunition, like that in the M60 you saw one of my operatives carrying. The reason that ammo will work is because it’s been blessed by a Catholic priest that works with his unit." Steve replaced the ammunition and said, "Plus, most of the people in our unit are masters with swords, some of which are very powerful."
"How so?" the Sergeant asked, a trace of worry in her voice.
"Giles, Sergeant Jenkins," St. Wolf said, drawing a sword, "meet Demon Slayer."
Sergeant Jenkins nodded; she’d seen the Sword up close. But Wish Giles was literally stunned. "MY GOD!!!" he whispered. "Mr. St. Wolf, do you realize what that is?"
"Of course, Giles," the man told him. "I told you I’m a Knight Lieutenant. What I didn’t mention at the time was that I’m Merlin’s personal champion, as well."
Wish Giles’ eyes flashed in doubt, so the double of the Slayer said, "Uh, Giles, not to outdo my honey, but. . ."
"Your ‘honey?’" Wish Giles said in anger.
With a sigh, Buffy pulled out a similar glowing sword. "Take a look, Giles. Take a good, long look."
Wish Giles stared at the glowing characters on the blade of the katana in her hands for several seconds. Seeing the two Swords together, he slowly nodded. "I’m sorry. I didn’t know."
"It gets better," the alternate Slayer told him. "Remember Randi? The girl who helped your Buffy bail you out?" At his nod, she said, "She carries Joan of Arc’s sword."
The police Sergeant looked positively shocked by the announcement, but Wish Giles recovered fairly quickly. "I thought it was a replica," he dryly admitted with a chuckle. "My mistake."
Jenkins sighed and said, "You’re taking this awfully well."
"Miss Jenkins, I am a Watcher," Wish Giles offered. "I knew this world had been altered by Anyanka, but now I have unfortunately made this world permanent."
"Oh please," Goodfellow said with a roll of his eyes. "That broad was lying. The only thing the wish affected was Buffy and Sunnydale. Like that would change the whole world. Poor Anya never could get over her own ego. I tell you, the only good thing about her was a great body. . ." Off their looks, he sheepishly admitted, "We used to date. So sue me."
"That is one scary thought," Buffy muttered.
"Excuse me," one of the JP’s said, "but where’s your friend, Goodfellow?"
"He’s going to pick up the first of our allies, JP," the fairy answered with a grin. "Let’s just say that I want to get the ball rolling in style."
"Meaning you want to bring in an ally we can’t top," Giles translated for those who didn’t know the fairy.
"You know me too well."
Wish Giles sighed. "Am I the only one who thinks that is a frightening thought?"
Giles and Jenny shook their heads.
"So just who is this friend of yours?" Buffy asked with a bit of trepidation.
"Let’s just say that even Disney didn’t do him as much justice as he deserved," the fairy shrugged.
As he walked out, no one knew what to make of that statement. Nor did they want to.
Somewhere Else
Someplace Else (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December 1998
The Genie appeared in a shower of sparkles. He glanced around and nodded when he found what he was looking for. He walked over to the entrance of a cave, which was blocked off with a large piece of steel that easily cleared fifty tons.
Genie cracked his knuckles and extended his right arm, his hand shaped in the form of a finger gun. A bolt of energy shot from his index finger and wrapped itself around the metal blocking the entrance. The metal split in two, revealing that is was a doorway. After the metal halves opened up to a ninety-degree angle, the magical being walked into the cave.
He stopped and looked around, unmindful of the mist swirling around his ankles. He walked in a bit further and heard someone groaning, farther inside. He continued forward and finally came upon a cavern, in the middle of which was a stone bier. Sitting up upon the bier was a man in his late thirties, with dark black hair and a well-trimmed mustache and beard. The man stood six feet tall, and was in excellent shape, his lean muscles showing even underneath his plate mail armor.
The man cautiously looked around, getting his bearings. When his gaze fell upon the smiling Genie, he rolled off the bier, taking a defensive stance. Without the slightest trace of fear, despite being unarmed, the man called out, "What manner of being are you?"
The Genie conjured up a Hawaiian-style shirt, as well as a microphone and a set of headphones. In a loud voice, he shouted, "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood mornin’ Arthur Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! This isn’t a test, it’s time to save the world!"
Genie dismissed his props and took out the sheathed weapon from his sash. He tossed it to the cautious man and grinned. "I believe you two know each other?"
The warrior slowly drew the weapon out of the scabbard, his eyes shining as much as the blue aura that surrounded the blade of the weapon. He nodded once in awe and began to perform a warm up exercise with the enchanted weapon. After about five minutes, he stopped and replaced the sword in the sheath.
"Sir, I know not who you are," the knight began, "but I thank you for returning Excalibur to me. I take it that my awakening was intended?"
"Oh, I suppose you could say that, Art," Genie said with a silly smile. "But you’ve been napping a long time."
"What is the year?" the man asked cautiously.
"December 13, 1998," the blue-skinned man answered. "But I’ll help you out."
Genie shot a bolt of magic at the knight, who was enveloped in magical light for several seconds. The magic faded, leaving the man with a look of surprised interest on his face.
"I see," he admitted with a grave nod. "The world has changed much in my absence. But now, may I ask who you are? Are you a friend?"
"Art, old pal," the Genie said with a clap on Arthur’s shoulders, "you ain’t ever had a friend like me."
Arthur didn’t comment on that. "Let us go."
317 Bryant Terrace
Sunnydale, California (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
Steve had just led most of the others out, but Robin gripped JP’s arm. When the Atlantean looked at him strangely, Robin said, "Okay, Aderron. Tell me what’s going on."
"What do you mean?" JP asked while his double just watched.
"I saw the way the other JP looked at Buffy," the fairy replied. He gave JP a grin and said, "Despite my reputation, I’m quick on the uptake. Now tell me what’s going on."
JP looked at Wish JP, who shrugged. JP sighed and told Robin, "This stays between us." When Robin shrugged, the demon hunter whispered, "Buffy, both ours and the one from this universe, is the reincarnation of my youngest daughter, Adrianna. I told my double, both because this Buffy’s alone, and because I thought he should know."
Robin’s eyes went wide at this revelation. "Okay, at exactly what point did you decide to ignore the rules Merlin set down?"
"Ah, those were just for the kids," JP grinned through his cigarette.
"No, they were for everyone," the fairy reminded the other. "Including you."
JP chuckled without concern. "Come on, Goodfellow, I have to tell him about---"
"You don’t tell them shit, JP." Robin started shaking his head. "Mer’s rules, remember?"
Now JP was looking offended. He moved into Robin’s face and blew a cloud of smoke into the sprite’s eyes. "Listen, punk---"
To his shock, as well as Wish JP’s, Robin grabbed JP by the collar of his coat and slammed him into the wall. JP was stunned to see a sort of dark look in Robin’s face as the fairy got within inches of JP’s nose.
"You may be hot shit to everyone else, pal," the Goodfellow hissed with a note of evil intent in his voice, "but I’m almost 40,000 years older than you." JP’s eyes went wide, and Robin smiled without any humor in the expression. "Yeah, never knew that, did you? Don’t let my behavior fool you. I’ve forgotten more about magic and dimensions and mayhem than you could ever hope to learn. I’ll take the disrespect from the kids, I like them. But don’t give me any attitude, got it?"
"So?" JP dryly asked, "you can only use your powers to fight evil, right?"
"Looked in a mirror lately, JP?" the Merry Wanderer retorted. "I know a dozen loopholes with you and I’ll use them."
"Oh, I like him," Wish JP said with a grin. "But I have to wonder if he’d treat Mike like he’s treating you."
Robin was caught off guard. "Mike?" he asked. He looked back and forth between the two. "What’s Mike got to do with this?"
"Who do you think told me I could tell Adrianna about us after the fight?" Wish JP grinned to the fairy’s discomfort. When Robin sighed and let JP go, the Wishverse version said, "But thanks for the show, Goodfellow."
"Yeah, right," the fairy sighed. "Why didn’t you just say so?"
"And miss the chance to get you in my debt?" JP replied with a grin. "Not likely."
JP conjured up a new cigarette and lit it up. Robin gave him a sour look and asked, "Could you put that thing out?"
"What’s it gonna do, kill me?" Withers asked with a derisive tone.
"We are hanging out with non-Immortals here," Robin reminded the demon hunters. "Besides, I have my standards."
"Yeah, right."
Robin reached up and yanked the cigarette out of JP’s mouth. He opened his mouth and flipped the cigarette onto his tongue. He closed his mouth, chewed it a bit, and swallowed. He then walked off to stares from JP.
Wish JP chuckled. "Man, that was pure us. Did that hurt?"
"Yep," Robin answered.
"Going to throw up?" Wish JP asked.
"Yep," Robin answered.
A series of startled gasps caught their attention, and Robin led the way into the living room.
Steve and his operatives rapidly drew their weapons out when two more people appeared in the living room. The new arrivals looked around and the larger of the two, a blue-skinned man with a beard, sighed.
"Robbie was right," he lamented. "You kids do need to switch to decaf."
Steve began shaking his head in frustration. "You could have knocked, you know."
"Rob said time was of the essence," the azure man replied with a grin.
Buffy asked, "Did he really say that?"
"Well, his exact words aren’t for young ears," was the reply.
Steve nodded and the people replaced their weapons. Steve walked up to the shorter man, a human, and held out his hand. "Arthur, it’s good to meet you."
"Aye, Sir Steve," Arthur replied with a hearty handshake. "Your friend has told me of the situation. I am honored to add my sword to your cause."
"Thanks," the Wanderer said. He looked at the White Hats and said, "Giles, Larry, Oz, allow me to introduce our first ally from YOUR universe. This is Arthur Pendragon, King of England, bearer of Excalibur, and one of the Nine."
Wish Giles was stammering at the arrival of a living legend less than ten feet from him. He quickly went to his knees and said, "Your Majesty. Rupert Giles, descendant of Sir Henry Giles, at your service."
Arthur walked up to Wish Giles and said, "Sir Rupert, I will not have you bow before me. My time as King has passed. I will no longer be served. Rather, I will repay the service given me by your ancestor, by serving your cause, and that of your Slayer."
Wish Giles stood up and stared at the Once and Future King in awe. "I thank you, Sire." He looked at Larry and Wish Oz. "Don’t you have anything to say?"
Larry cocked his head and said, "Well, yeah. I thought he was a redhead."
"That way in the books," Wish Oz seconded.
Wish Giles just stared at his charges as Arthur and the Slayerettes chuckled in good humor.
Off to the side, both Willows and Xanders were staring at Robin’s friend in astonishment.
"Uh," Willow said quietly, "please tell me Robin’s friend isn’t looking like who I think he’s looking like."
"Yeah, it’s looking like him," Vamp Willow said just as quietly.
"Great," Xander moaned, "all we need now are the carpet, the parrot, and the monkey."
Vamp Xander looked at his double. "Does this kind of thing happen to you a lot?"
Xander nodded ruefully. "Yeah. Tuesdays seem to be the worst." He looked over at the Arthur/Steve discussion and started to shake. "Oh shit! Everyone take cover."
Steve looked at Robin and said, "Now I’ve seen everything."
"Wanna bet?" the fairy grinned as he watched Arthur. "Take a look."
The Wanderer watched as Arthur eyed Sonja’s assault rifle.
He bowed to the Immortal, then straightened. "My Lady, may I borrow your weapon for a moment?"
Sonja looked somewhat reluctant, but handed it over when Gabrielle nodded mischievously. When Steve heard Xander tell people to take cover, she began to step back.
Steve worriedly said, "Arthur, that---"
He stopped when Arthur pulled the magazine out, opened the chamber, and went through a complete examination process like a twenty-year veteran. Arthur finished his inspection and handed the weapon back to Sonja.
"A most impressive weapon. Fine condition," the King of England said with a nod of confidence. "But I would prefer Excalibur for short range fighting. Do you have something for long range combat?"
Steve stared at Arthur for several seconds before turning to the Genie. The Arabian shrugged nonchalantly.
"Hey, Robbie told me how Arthur’s going around on your world," Genie said easily. His grin became wider and he said, "So, I thought I’d give him the telepathic crash course. I think you’ll agree, it saves a lot of time."
"You always have to be flashy," Robin told his friend, who returned his grin.
"I’m getting to old for this shit," St. Wolf muttered to himself. He looked at the vampire kids and asked, "Okay. Willow, Xander? Do you know where we could get a bite to eat?"
"The Bronze," Vamps Willow and Xander answered off the bat. When they saw the sick looks on the faces of the others, they muttered, "Sorry. . . force of habit."
"Okay, here’s what we’re going to do," Steve said. "Buffy, you and Giles arrange a rotating guard, two hour shifts. Most of us have been going all night, so we need some rest. Make sure everyone gets as much sleep as they can."
"Uh, Steve," Buffy asked with a frown, "just where are we supposed to sleep? On the floor?"
"Allow me," Genie said. He snapped his fingers to no apparent effect. He said, "I just converted the drug room into a mini barracks. Beds and rollout couches for all in there and in the bedrooms."
"Showoff," Robin said with a chuckle.
"Gee, thanks for privacy," Cordelia complained.
"Later," Steve barked. "Does anyone have anything else to say?"
"DIBS on the master bedroom!" Vamp Willow shouted, waving her right hand in the air.
"That’s not what I meant---"
"She called it, Steve," Buffy said with a grin. "Come on, it’s their universe, let them have it."
Shaking his head, Steve said, "Enough. Robin, JP, I assume you have the list of who’s supposedly trustworthy in this reality?"
"Yep," JP grinned. He looked at Robin and asked, "So, who goes with whom?"
"Hmmm," Robin mused while rubbing his chin. He looked at the other three people capable of easy teleportation. "Steve and Duncan, come with me. JP from this universe, take Connor. Our JP, take Keighvin and Tannim. Mulder and Scully are with Genie."
"You’re sticking us with the Genie?" Mulder asked skeptically.
"Of course I am," Robin said with no trace of humor. "He’ll keep you in line."
"Hey!" Mulder snapped.
"Knock it off!" St. Wolf said in disgust. "Some days it just doesn’t pay to command a covert operations unit. Buffy, start rotating the people."
"Got it, honey," the Slayer said as the groups began vanishing. Once Genie teleported out with Mulder and Scully, she regarded her double. "And you think your life’s weird."
"Point taken," Wish Buffy replied.
DeSalvo's Gym
Seacouver, Washington (the Wishverse)
Early hours
13 December
1998
Duncan MacLeod started as the Buzz went off in his head. He sat up, shaking off his drowsiness, and removed the sheets that covered both him and the woman next to him. He stood up as he began to walk toward the elevator.
His actions also awakened the woman who shared his bed. With a drowsy voice, she murmured, "Duncan?"
The dark-eyed Scot turned to his love and said, "Someone's downstairs."
She knew what the Immortal meant by that. She sat up and brought the sheets up to her neck. "What are you going to do?"
Duncan sighed. He moved to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweat pants. As he donned them, he ordered her, "Stay here. I'll try to convince them to leave, or to move the duel somewhere else. I don't want you to risk yourself."
"But, Duncan---"
He moved over to the bed with the grace of a hunting cat. He placed a solitary finger over her lips and said, "We've had this discussion before. If they're here for my head, then there will be no way to talk them out of it. But if they're reasonable, I might be able to sway them."
The woman softly nodded, but tears started to form in her eyes. "I still feel that I should be at your side."
"I know," the Highlander softly whispered. He gave her a parting kiss and told her, "Don't worry. I won't leave you without a fight for the Watchers to remember for eternity."
"I know, Duncan," she whispered. She silently watched as the man she loved entered the elevator and descended to the main floor.
Steve, Duncan, and Robin looked around the dojo. Robin just walked around, admiring the collection of Oriental weapons on the wall, while Steve and Duncan discussed how closely the place matched Duncan's own gym back in their universe.
"Well," Steve said hopefully, "at least we might have *one* thing that remains constant in both universes. Good to know that it's the Stalwart Scot that comes through in a pinch."
"Don't you start," Duncan chuckled. He shot a glance at his former student and said, "I just might be tempted to try and contact your double and give *him* command of this little soiree."
"Sorry," Robin interjected from the side, "we have enough John Wayne 'charge in and play the cavalry' types in this fight already."
The fairy looked up and said, "Listen."
He watched the two Immortals nod as the elevator descended. They stepped back toward the middle of the gym, wanting to avoid constituting a threat to the occupant when he opened the door.
Robin said, "Uh, Duncan? Maybe you should wait inside the office. That way we can break things to your double gently. Hopefully, we'll avoid any undue fainting or comic book-style fisticuffs."
"I don't faint," Duncan protested.
"Just go," the sprite said, rolling his eyes.
Duncan moved out of sight just as the elevator touched the floor.
Duncan fingered his katana as the elevator came to a halt. The Immortal reached up and unsealed the inner door, moving slowly so that he could close it again if need be. When no one fired any bullets at him, he looked around to see two men standing in the gym waiting for him. His eyes widened in shock as he focused on to the one on his left.
"Steve?" he dryly whispered.
"Hi, Duncan," Steve St. Wolf greeted him. "We need to talk."
Duncan's eyes grew hard. "I'll say we do."
Duncan ripped the door open and walked out of the elevator. He quickly brought his sword up to Steve's neck. The man who looked like his former student just cocked an eyebrow at the glowing blue blade that was grazing his jugular vein.
"Is this any way to greet a former student?" he asked with a cocky grin.
"I don't know who you are," Duncan growled as sadness waged war with anger inside him. "But you picked the wrong Immortal to impersonate. Especially wearing THAT armor. Tell me who you are, and I just might make your death quick and painless."
"I'm going to draw my weapon, nice and slowly," Steve said. He raised his left hand and slowly brought his right hand across. "I know you, Duncan. You'll at least let me explain."
"Do it quickly," Duncan snarled. He looked at the other man in the gym and said, "If I were you, I wouldn't try anything stupid. I'll just make your life a living Hell."
The second man looked at Steve's look alike. "He don't know me very well, do he?" he asked with a smirk.
"Who are you?" Duncan asked. "You're not an Immortal."
"Thank the Gods for that," the young man said. He bowed with a flourish and said, "Robin Goodfellow, Merry Wanderer in the Night, servant of the Lord Oberon, at your service."
Duncan's eyes went wide. "Let me get this straight. You're a fairy?"
"At least he didn't call me Puck," the man told Steve. Addressing Duncan he said, "Yeah, I'm a fairy. Now cut out this b.s. and let's get down to business."
Duncan looked into the eyes of the man who looked like his former student. "I'm giving you one chance. Tell me who you are."
"Well, if you'll let me draw my sword, I can prove who I am," the Immortal told him. Very slowly, the man drew out a sword that emitted a familiar blue aura. With a cocky smirk, the man asked, "Look familiar, Duncan?"
Duncan's jaw dropped at the sight before him. He recovered and snapped, "That's impossible! I'm the wielder of Demon Slayer!"
"In *this* universe, maybe," the man replied with a smile. "It's a long story, Duncan. But I *am* Steve St. Wolf, just not the one you know."
Duncan looked Steve up and down. <I'm even thinking of him as 'Steve.'> the Highlander realized. He slowly backed away, bringing his sword down. He cautiously asked, "What is going on here, Steve?"
Steve looked over to the man who called himself Robin. He sighed and looked towards the Heavens. "Sure. Give me the hard jobs."
The young man went into a brief yet detailed explanation of who and what they were, where they came from, and finally why they were here. Duncan listened to the entire story with a fair amount of skepticism, but found he believed their story.
"And that's where we're at, at this point," Steve said once Robin had finished. He put away his Demon Slayer and smiled. "I know it's hard to believe, but we need your help, Duncan. Will you come?"
"Considering that I have the responsibility of carrying this around," Duncan said, indicating his Demon Slayer, "of course I am. Even if I find it hard to believe, I still believe you. I remember what you're like, Steve. Like when we raided Libya seven years ago."
"That happened here, too?" Steve asked.
Duncan winced at the word, "here." He shook his head, chuckling. He looked up to Heaven and said, "I know I'm going to regret this, but I'm in."
"Thank you, Duncan," Steve said with relief. He cocked his head and asked, "By the way, how did you end up wielding Demon Slayer?"
Duncan tensed up and his smile vanished. He sheathed Demon Slayer and began heading for the office. "I'm going to make a pair of phone calls, Steve. I'll explain everything when Dawson gets here."
"Uh, Duncan," Robin called out, "don't go in there---"
It was too late. Duncan vanished into the office.
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!?"
Steve and Robin clapped their hands over their foreheads in frustration. Wish Duncan came barreling out of the office with unholy anger in his eyes.
"What the Hell is going ON HERE, Steven?" he demanded.
Duncan followed his counterpart out of the office, a wicked grin on his face. He wheezed, "You should have seen how wide his eyes got, Steve. Oh, God, it was priceless."
"Shut up, Duncan!" Wish Duncan shouted. He realized what he'd said, and groaned, "Did that sound as ridiculous as I think it did?"
"Somewhat," Robin said with a grin. "Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, meet Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod."
Wish Duncan glared at the grinning St. Wolf. "Might I ask when you were planning on telling me about *him*?!?"
"He was my ace in the hole, in case you didn't believe me." Steve grinned at him. "Look at the bright side. At least you're convinced."
"Don't count on it," Wish Duncan growled. He pointed at Duncan and said, "You're telling me that this is the Duncan MacLeod of YOUR universe?"
"Yep," Steve said. Still smiling, he said, "And I can prove it."
Wish Duncan frowned with doubt. "How?"
"I knew it would come to this," Steve sighed. He held his hand out to Robin. "Robin?"
The man claiming to be a fairy reached into his trench coat and pulled out a manil